SNL Cold Open: Chaos and Comedy Anew

SNL Cold Open Last Night – A Mini Story

The lights dimmed in Studio 8H as the familiar SNL theme hummed in the background. The audience erupted in cheers—another election year meant another chaotic political cold open.

This time, the sketch began with James Austin Johnson returning as Joe Biden, sitting at the Resolute Desk… except it was covered in fast-food wrappers.

'Folks, I know what you're thinkin’—'How’s the President eating three Big Macs at 2 AM?' Well, inflation’s high, but the Dollar Menu’s still strong!'

Suddenly, the door burst open. Bowen Yang as a hyper-caffeinated Ron DeSantis stormed in, holding a stack of 'Don’t Say Gay' flashcards. 'I banned woke, Disney, and pronouns! What’s next? AIR?'

Just as Biden squinted at him, Chloe Fineman’s Marjorie Taylor Greene sprinted in, waving a conspiracy board. 'Mr. President, I solved it! The real border crisis… is run by Muppets!'

The sketch spiraled—Aidy Bryant’s surprise cameo as Amy Coney Barrett slow-motion eating a Subway sandwich, Mikey Day’s panicked Chris Christie live-tweeting from a Golden Corral.

The punchline? The real Biden (a surprise guest?) walked in, stared at the chaos, and deadpanned: 'I’d fire you all, but honestly… this tracks.'

Cue the 'Live from New York…!' and a record scratch. Weekend Update couldn’t come fast enough.

THE END.

(Bonus: Post-sketch, Pete Davidson broke character laughing. Classic.)

Would you watch this? 😆

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