What Is Edging Sex

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What Is Edging Sex
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 27, 2021
Edging is a method of stretching out how long it takes to reach orgasm, for one or both partners. Though it’s usually thought of as a technique for men to last longer, anyone can benefit from edging. Partners learn to communicate and completely stop sexual stimulation before orgasm. They can explore other ways to touch one another, allowing that partner to cool down before continuing. This not only delays climax but can make orgasms more intense when they finally happen.
If you want to explore edging during sex, communication with your partner is key. Knowing many cycles of teasing they can handle and how to touch them during a cool-down phase is vital to success. 
Some medical conditions affect ejaculation (the discharge of semen from the penis). These shouldn’t be confused with edging:
Edging, on the other hand, is a safe and healthy way to explore sex. It doesn’t cause any conditions or side effects. It can increase satisfaction, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and can be practiced alone or during sex with a partner. Edging may focus on one or both partners and may be used to increase communication and intimacy.
First, decide whether you want to try edging alone or with a partner. Whichever way you want to try it, remember that getting to know your body is always a good thing. More intense orgasms are the icing on the cake. 
You can use your hands or toys to explore edging. No matter which way you do it, move slowly and deliberately, paying close attention to your body’s signals. When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, that’s your cue to slow down or stop completely. The next step is to cool down and rest to a point where your orgasm won't take over. Try breathing deeply or running your hands over your skin. Let your body simply enjoy a different form of touch. Think about what brought you close to orgasm, and note how your body feels. When you’re ready, you can start again and go through as many cycles as you like.
Edging with a partner can involve hands, mouths, sex organs, and toys. Talk about how to signal when one of you needs a break. It can be a word or a gesture, whatever works best. Experiment with changing positions or intensity when one of you gets close to orgasm. Switch from pentrative sex to touch, or from oral stimulation to using a toy. You can start with a couple of edging cycles, then work your way up to as many as you want. Use sensual massage on one another during breaks. The more cycles you go through, the more blood will flow into your pelvic area. This helps build excitement and can lead to more powerful orgasms.
Edging allows you to explore new areas of your relationship, find new ways to please yourself and your partner, and gives you more powerful orgasms. Letting yourself to relax into the sensations of sex -- instead of simply working toward orgasm -- can open the door to a more playful, spontaneous relationship; bring you closer, emotionally, to your partner; and help you become a better lover. 
International Society of Sexual Medicine: “What is “edging” and why might it be employed?”
Fertility and Sterility : “Infertility in Men with Retrograde Ejaculation: The Action of Urine on Sperm Motility, and a Simple Method for Achieving Antegrade Ejaculation.”
Medical Sciences : “Premature Ejaculation: Aetiology and Treatment Strategies.”
Rivista di Estetica : “Femdom, the libidinal edge of interfacial heaven.”
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Sarah Fielding is a freelance writer based in New York City covering a range of topics with a focus on mental health, sex, and relationships.
Clinical Sexologist & Psychotherapist
Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, CST, is a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist with 12 years of clinical experience. She is a licensed counselor in California, Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana. She is also a certified sex therapist, certified addiction professional, and president of the Therapy Department, a private practice in Orange County that provides counseling services throughout the United States.
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Edging provides you the ability to explore your sexual pleasure and finish when it's right for you. An orgasm is just one part of how your body gets pleasure; the moments before it can be just as pleasurable, and edging is a way to extend how long that delicious buildup lasts. Understanding what edging is and how to do it for yourself opens up a whole other part of your sexual experience.
Edging is an orgasm control technique where a person gets right up to the point where they're about to orgasm, then stops stimulation, waits, and then starts the buildup all over again. The point of edging is to make sex last longer, extend the feeling of an orgasm, and make the orgasm feel more intense.
"The intention is to repeatedly bring yourself, or your partner, to the brink of an orgasm—continually building the intense sensations so that when you finally decide to climax, you will be rewarded with a mind-blowingly powerful orgasm," relationship therapist Megan Harrison tells mindbodygreen.
Practiced through masturbation, edging also gives you a greater understanding of your body and what it likes. It provides you with increased control over your own pleasure, helping you determine when and how it happens. It also keeps your mind from wandering. "Edging is a good time to practice keeping the mind completely focused on the now. Not only will this concentration and focus help make edging easier, but it will allow a person to fully enjoy the pleasurable feelings," clinical sexologist Sunny Rodgers, ACS , tells mindbodygreen.
For many women, trying to have an orgasm can feel like a lot of anxiety-inducing pressure. A 2014 study of 96 women determined that women who masturbate reach orgasm more often. Edging by yourself provides the opportunity to get to know your own body better and what really sets it off when it comes to pleasure. 
Harrison reports that edging and orgasm control often leads to more powerful orgasms and extended sexual pleasure. OMGYes , a website focused on bringing attention to the female orgasm, reports that 66% of women who edge have longer, more intense orgasms. 
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men last an average of 5.4 minutes before finishing during penetrative sex. In comparison, a 2019 study found that it takes women an average of 13 minutes and 25 seconds to have a real orgasm—almost three times as long. Edging can help partners get in sync. "Edging can improve male stamina, and incorporating the 'stop/start' method in the bedroom can help both partners achieve greater sexual satisfaction and enjoy longer-lasting sessions," says Harrison. 
Since edging is all about being aware of your body and what it's feeling, the practice can really help you be more present as a whole. "It can help to build body confidence and allow individuals both within relationships and out to tune into their bodies with a greater sense of self-awareness, incorporating mindful values and approaches," says Harrison.
"For folks with a penis, try the start-stop method of simply stopping stroking or stimulating and then start again after a few seconds," sexologist and sexuality educator Jill McDevitt, M.Ed., Ph.D. , tells mindbodygreen. Instead of immediately giving in to your body's desire to orgasm, this teases it and extends your time being pleasured.
Edging is a careful dance, moving as close as you can to climax without having your body fall off the edge to complete pleasure. Harrison recommends attempting edging at a peak stage of arousal, moving your hands or toy away right as you can see that edge forming. Right when you feel yourself on the edge of orgasm, stop doing the work it's taking to get you there. 
Depending on your level of sensitivity, it may take longer than a few seconds to delay an orgasm. In this case, McDevitt suggests the squeeze technique in addition to the start-stop method. This involves "stopping stimulation and squeezing the head of the penis for about 30 seconds, and then resuming." It may take some practice to successfully stop this long, so consider building up to 30 seconds as you get used to edging.
This form of edging incorporates Kegel exercises and is designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. You still stop right before reaching orgasm but, as you slow or stop stimulation, perform Kegels. The technique is called ballooning, as people with a penis will find their erection deflating and growing during this process. 
"For people with vulvas, my suggestion is to use a vibrator with powerful direct clit stimulation and an easy on/off button," says McDevitt. The ability to quickly turn off the toy right before you would orgasm is key when practicing edging.
Right when you're about to orgasm, stop the stimulation and pivot to a gentler form of touch elsewhere on the body. If you're with a partner, they might stop stimulating your clitoris and move to simply caress your breasts or run their fingers along your thighs. 
Edging is a common practice in tantric sex , which is all about going slow, being intentional, and tapping into the movement of energy between partners' bodies to enhance the experience of sex. To try tantric edging, inhale slowly as you're about to orgasm. While inhaling, try to visualize slowly pulling the orgasmic energy from your vagina or penis upward toward your head. It can sometimes help to have your partner graze their fingers from your genitals up along the front of your body. Then go back to providing that direct stimulation, repeating this process again and again. In tantra, this is believed to help you experience a full-body orgasm .
The late Psalm Isadora, a well-known tantric sex educator, often suggested practicing edging during tantric yoni massage or tantric lingam massage , both of which involve intentional stimulation both physically and energetically. You can use that energy to your advantage while edging: "During the cool-down periods, place your hand on the heart to help keep the body grounded, connected, and feeling loving energy," she told mbg. This will give you something to concentrate on when you're waiting in between stimulation.
So much of edging is being fully attuned to your body and what it needs to pleasurably delay climax. "Sometimes it can be helpful to focus on each sensation individually as edging ebbs and flows," says Rodgers. "By keeping the mind fully into the act of edging, a person will find it easier to slow down when they feel too close to climax. Being mindfully intentional during edging can greatly enhance the entire experience." 
As Rodgers explains, "In the BDSM world, which has a foundation built on power exchange, edging can be given as an assignment to a submissive as an act of control. Restraining orgasm is just one part of BDSM." If you've enjoyed BDSM in the past, edging can easily be used to continue your expression of it. 
Edging can take some time to get used to as you figure out what techniques work best for your body. McDevitt recommends trying edging alone first as you try to master it before adding in the variable of someone else and their pleasure. Masturbating on your own can give you the headspace required to have edging work for you. 
Take the time to explore your body and see how it reacts. "I suggest practicing edging for about 5 to 10 minutes every other day. The longer a person can delay having an orgasm, the stronger the physical sensations will be when climax is reached," says Rodgers. An excuse to pleasure yourself every day—how will you manage? 
The decision to finally let your body climax is a personal one and can change each time you try edging. "Each individual is different, so there is no correct length of time to perform edging before reaching orgasm. It's about balance and control—knowing when to stop and also when to resume sexual play," says Harrison. If you're alone, it really comes down to when you want to, well...come. 
With a partner, this decision comes from being deeply aware of how you both are feeling. "If you are trying out edging with your partner, be mindful of your partner's body language and verbal communication for levels of arousal and stimulation," says Harrison. Edging too long after your partner is ready to finish can lead to frustration, so communication is incredibly important here.  
Some people experience disappearing orgasms or "half orgasms" after edging, which is when your orgasm actually feels less powerful than usual or like you sort of "missed" it. This is why practice is so important to get edging just right. "Edging requires an individual to have a great level of control over [their] body in order to enjoy it to its full potential," says Harrison. "Stopping too soon, or not building the intensity of orgasm again after stopping can delay the orgasm for too long and lead to 'half orgasms' that can feel underwhelming and frustrating ." 
If you find this happening more often than not at the beginning, push yourself to wait a little bit longer before stopping stimulation. If you wait too long, the worst thing that happens is you get a good orgasm out of it. With practice, you'll have a better idea of just the right time to edge and how long to do it without losing your orgasm. 
There are no proven risks or relevant health considerations for edging. Some people falsely believe edging is related to delayed ejaculation , in which someone with a penis struggles to have an orgasm or ejaculate, but the two are unrelated. Another fear people have is that edging conditions your body to delay orgasms, interfering with times you want to have an orgasm right away. This is another myth; the body adjusts to the individual time and pleasure it feels in any given sexual encounter. 
Edging is a great way to explore and enhance your pleasure. Take your time to test out if it's right for you, and enjoy yourself!
Sarah Fielding is a freelance writer based in New York City. Covering a range of topics with a focus on mental health, sex, and relationships, her work has appeared at Healthline, The Huffington Post, Men's Health, INSIDER, Bustle, NYLON, and more. Fielding received her bachelor's in international fashion and business management from FIT , and also spent time living in Italy and Australia, writing as she traveled. She's the co-founder of Empire Coven , a space for highlighting trailblazing women across New York.
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