Samuel L. Jackson's Coffee Conundrum

Samuel L. Jackson's Coffee Conundrum

Samuel L Jackson

Title: 'Samuel L. Jackson’s Coffee Run'

Samuel L. Jackson walked into a small Brooklyn coffee shop like he owned the place—because, let’s be honest, in his mind, he kinda did. The bell above the door jingled, and every head turned. The barista, a nervous kid named Kevin, nearly dropped a cup.

'Uh… Mr. Jackson! Wh-what can I get you?' Kevin stammered.

Samuel leaned on the counter, locking eyes with him. 'Large black coffee. No sugar. No cream. Just like my movies—strong and unapologetic.'

Kevin nodded frantically. 'Y-yes, sir! Right away!'

As Samuel waited, a starstruck fan approached. 'Mr. Jackson, I love your work! Can I get a selfie?'

Samuel sighed, then flashed his signature smirk. 'Make it quick. I ain’t got all day—unless you’re offering me a lightsaber or a wallet full of cash.'

The fan snapped the pic just as Kevin handed over the coffee. Samuel took a sip, paused, and glared.

'Kevin.' His voice was calm. Dangerously calm.

'Y-yes, sir?'

'This… is decaf.'

The room fell silent. A spoon clattered to the floor.

Kevin’s face went pale. 'I—I’m so sorry! I’ll remake it right—'

Samuel held up a hand. 'Motherf—' He stopped himself, took a deep breath, then leaned in. 'Kevin. Do I look like a man who drinks decaf? Do I sound like a man who whispers when he says ‘Enough is enough’?'

Kevin shook his head rapidly.

'Damn right.' Samuel slid the cup back. 'Fix it. Before I fix you.'

Two minutes later, Samuel strode out with his proper coffee, muttering, 'Decaf… I oughta burn this place down.'

And somewhere, Nick Fury smiled. Because somebody kept the world interesting.

THE END. 🚬☕

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