SNL Parody: Lorne Michaels' Disappearance Mystery

'SNL: The Disappearance of Lorne Michaels' – A True Crime Parody

Opening Scene: A dimly lit interrogation room. A grizzled detective (played by Kenan Thompson) flips through a case file. The camera zooms in on a black-and-white photo of Lorne Michaels, smiling enigmatically.

DETECTIVE (V.O.):
'October 11, 1975. A legend was born. For decades, Saturday Night Live was the crown jewel of late-night comedy. But behind the laughter… something darker lurked.'

Cut to: A reenactment of a frantic 911 call.

DISEMBODIED VOICE (Beck Bennett):
'We’ve lost him! Lorne’s gone! The show is live in three hours, and all we have is… Pete Davidson doing stand-up!'

Dramatic music swells. Title card: 'SNL: VANISHED' in blood-red letters.

ACT 1: THE LAST KNOWN SIGHTING

Reenactment footage: Lorne Michaels (played by Kate McKinnon in a bald cap) sitting in his office, staring at a script titled 'The Rock Hosts… Again?' He sighs, rubs his temples, and mutters, 'I can’t do this anymore.'

Cut to: Interviews with 'witnesses.'

COLIN JOST (as himself):
'He seemed… off. Like, more than usual. He kept mumbling about ‘digital shorts’ and ‘why won’t they let me retire?’'

AIDY BRYANT (as a Stagehand):
'I saw him walking toward Studio 8H… and then—poof! Gone. Like a sketch that got cut at dress.'

ACT 2: THE THEORIES

Detective Kenan stands in front of a conspiracy board with red strings connecting photos of former cast members, NBC execs, and a suspiciously placed photo of The Muppets.

DETECTIVE:
'Was it foul play? Did the Five-Timers Club finally turn on him? Or… did he just get tired of explaining what ‘good enough for government work’ means?'

Cut to: A dramatic reenactment of Lorne being abducted by a shadowy figure—revealed to be a disgruntled Weekend Update anchor (Bowen Yang as Chevy Chase).

ACT 3: THE SHOCKING REVELATION

The detective bursts into Lorne’s office, finding… nothing but a half-empty coffee cup and a Post-it that reads: 'Gone to Belize. Tell Tina I’m sorry.'

Freeze frame. Record scratch.

DETECTIVE (V.O.):
'Belize? That’s where 30 Rock said mobsters go to disappear. Coincidence? Or… the perfect cover?'

Cut to: Lorne (Kate McKinnon) on a beach, sipping a margarita, watching SNL reruns on a tiny TV. He smirks.

LORNE (to camera):
'Live from… somewhere tropical. It’s me not being there!'

Black screen. Text: 'LORNE MICHAELS: STILL MISSING. (But the show must go on.)'

Fade to NBC logo.

ANNOUNCER (Darrell Hammond):
'Next week: The Curse of the Five-Timers Club—did Tom Hanks know more than he let on?'

(End scene.)

Would watch this Dateline-style SNL parody in a heartbeat. 😆 Would you?

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