Politician's Oligarchy Tour Exposed in Fried Facts

Here’s a sizzling plate of Fried Facts about a Politician on a 'Fighting Oligarchy' Tour—extra crispy and served with a side of satire:

🔥 1. 'The People’s Champion' (Who Travels by Private Jet)

Politician: 'I stand with the working class against the greedy elite!'
Also Politician: Takes a $50 million campaign donation from a tech billionaire and flies to rallies in a Gulfstream.

� 2. The 'Anti-Oligarchy' Tour Sponsored by Oligarchs

The tour’s biggest donors? A telecom tycoon, a mining magnate, and a hedge fund manager—all of whom totally hate oligarchy (unless it’s theirs).

🎤 3. 'Name One Oligarch I Haven’t Fought!' (Silence)

Crowd: 'What about [insert corrupt mega-donor from their own party]?'
Politician: 'Uh… next question!'

💸 4. The 'Break Up Big Corporations' Promise (That Never Breaks)

'We must dismantle corporate monopolies!' — says the politician who has voted for every corporate tax cut and deregulation bill in the last decade.

🤝 5. 'I’ll Take On the Elite!' (After This Fundraiser at a $10M Hamptons Mansion)

'The system is rigged!' — proceeds to eat $500/plate lobster with lobbyists.

📉 6. The 'Grassroots Movement' Run by Super PACs

'This is a revolution from the ground up!' — funded by dark money, astroturfing, and a mysterious LLC in Delaware.

🎭 7. 'I’m Just Like You!' (If You Own Three Homes and a Winery)

'I feel your pain!' — says the career politician whose net worth went from
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🎢 8. The 'Fighting Oligarchy' Tour Merch – Made in Sweatshops

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🏛 9. 'We Need Term Limits!' (Serving Since the Ice Age)

'The political class is out of touch!' — says the 30-year incumbent who hasn’t taken public transit since 1987.

🎯 10. The Grand Finale: 'Vote for Me or the Oligarchy Wins!'

'The other guy is bought and paid for!' — both candidates funded by the same five billionaires.

Extra Crispy Bonus:

'This is not about left or right—it’s about up versus down!' (Proceeds to take corporate cash from both sides.)

Final Verdict:

Is this politician fighting oligarchy—or just photobombing it? 🍿

Want another Fried Facts dump? Name your topic!

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