Katies Sperm
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Katies Sperm
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Home » Vanderpump Rules » Vanderpump Rules' Katie Maloney-Schwartz & Tom Schwartz Reveal They Chose Abortion 10 Years Before Struggling To Get Pregnant
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Katie Maloney-Schwartz and her husband Tom Schwartz are getting candid like never before.
As the couple shares insight into their journey to conception on the new season of Vanderpump Rules , they are now opening up about a pivotal moment in the early stages of their relationship that could have sent their lives in a whole different direction.
On Tuesday’s episode, the longtime couple revealed Katie had an abortion very early into their relationship. Now that they are struggling to get pregnant, one might wonder if they’re being hit with regret. But they still believe it was the best decision they could have made at the time.
While preparing for an appointment at a fertility clinic, where Tom, 39, was set to finally learn the results of his sperm analysis test , and Katie, 34, would receive an ultrasound to determine more about her fertility chances, it quickly became obvious that they were going to need to divulge insight into her abortion for the very first time publicly. Realizing this, the Bravolebrity told her husband:
“I was filling out a [piece of] paperwork. It was asking about, like, if you had ever, like, been pregnant before. So, like, that’s definitely going to come up in our consultation.”
Upon reflecting on the couple’s past decision, her hubby was on board with disclosing the private information, reassuring:
“We made the best decision at the time.”
They seemed in total agreement about the health issue, too, with Katie revealing that the pregnancy happened “so early” into their fresh romance. Bouncing off that, Tom insisted they were “uncertain” about their love life and weren’t in a place to welcome a child, adding:
“We weren’t certain about the next day.”
While she always wanted to be a momma, Katie knew the timing wasn’t right:
“Exactly. I mean, I knew I wanted to have kids. But I just knew that was not the time in my life.”
Knowing the kind of responsibility a child requires, they both seemed confident the baby might have split them apart! Predicting they would have been nothing more than co-parents, Schwartz guessed:
“I think we would have broken up and [been] like, ‘This is too much.’ But we would have been good parents.”
Having been through that emotional experience, this pregnancy journey is that much more meaningful, the You’re Gonna Love Me podcast host shared:
“And now, it’s something that we are ready for when it happens.”
Honestly, that’s so important! Having had years to grow a strong foundation, they can head into the next chapter of their lives knowing they can lean on each other — and not worried one might walk away because of the stress. In a confessional, Katie shared a bit more insight into the abortion, noting that it happened about 10 years ago, around 2011.
“Tom and I’d been together for a year, and it was not pretty. Like, we fought all the time. I wanted it to work out, but I was just like if anything, he’s going to leave and I’m going to be a single mom.”
Grateful to be able to make the best health decision for herself, the TV personality added:
“Everyone, every woman, every person should be able to decide what’s best for them.”
Meanwhile, after already admitting he probably wouldn’t have stayed with his now-wife had they become parents back in the day, Tom insisted he would have “manned up and found a way to make it work” had his lady wanted to give birth.
So, what are their chances of getting pregnant nowadays??
Later in the episode, the couple were given the results of their tests at California Fertility Partners . If you’ll recall, Tom’s sperm test was one of the craziest things teased in the Season 9 trailer earlier this year, so viewers have been anticipating this moment for quite some time!
The doctor’s appointment was a mixed bag for the duo. Katie got “good news” that her ovaries’ follicle count was looking great. Tom, on the other hand, is facing a challenge. According to the results, his sperm morphology was “a little bit on the lower side,” meaning (according to the doctor):
“Sperm look like tadpoles and the head of the sperm is where the DNA of the sperm is. We want to have normal-shaped sperm heads. Yours was right at four percent.”
It’s not tragic news, though. Tom “can definitely work on” making some improvements — such as cutting back on alcohol and abstaining from marijuana and hot baths. These changes should help them have a better chance of getting pregnant. You can watch this candid moment play out in real-time in a clip from the episode (below, starting at 4:34)!
We’ll be rooting for them as they work to start a family!
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how i got this baby
Oct. 12, 2017
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Because no two paths to parenthood look the same, the Cut’s How I Got This Baby invites parents to share their stories. Want to share yours? Email gotbaby@thecut.com and tell us a bit about how you became a parent.
Katie and her then-husband planned on starting a family by their late 20s. Instead, the year she turned 27, Katie was diagnosed with breast cancer. By 30, Katie had no evidence of disease — and was no longer married. Though doctors had assured Katie her fertility might be intact after cancer treatment, when she met her now-wife, she was unsure whether she could have biological children.
Below, Katie discusses the difficulty of choosing a sperm donor, buying and then throwing away What to Expect When You’re Expecting , the financial barriers to the fertility industry, and the realities of early parenthood with twins.
On having her plans for a family derailed. I got married, initially, when I was 24, to a man. We had lots of plans to get pregnant pretty fast — I wanted to get pregnant by the time I was 27. But when I went to the doctor to get a prescription for prenatal vitamins, they found a lump in my breast.
I wound up getting diagnosed with breast cancer instead of pregnant: The day I had marked on my calendar that I was going to start trying to get pregnant, I was in chemo-induced menopause, totally bald, with no idea whether I’d ever be able to have a baby. I spent that day crying on the sofa drinking wine, as any good cancer patient would.
After four and a half months of chemo and a double mastectomy, there was no evidence of disease. But my plans for having babies got derailed by cancer — ultimately, my marriage did too. I wound up 30, no longer married, and not totally sure how I’d ever have kids.
On making a new plan . I’d decided to go get a Ph.D. because I still wasn’t sure if I was going to die, and I thought I could never have children. I thought, Okay, I won’t have kids . I also thought, If I start a Ph.D. — a really, really long project — the universe won’t let me die in the middle of it . This was so stupid; there were a lot of days where I was like, I’d rather have cancer than do this stupid Ph.D . But while I was doing it, I met my now-wife, and we had a whirlwind romance.
She’d always known she wanted to have kids. I was still recovering from the trauma of my divorce and cancer, but I still had it in the back of my mind that we’d want to try. Fairly early on, we talked about how we might do it: She didn’t want to be pregnant, I kind of did. We knew we weren’t getting any younger, so we decided to start trying when we were 33. Thinking, Okay, we’ll have a baby at 33, another at 37, maybe another at 39 …
I was 27 when I had chemo. Because my cancer was so aggressive, I wasn’t allowed to have fertility preservation before starting treatment — they needed to begin right away. Which ultimately was good: Had I done fertility preservation at the time, I would have had a bunch of embryos left over from my ex-husband, which would have been super-complicated. But they said, given my age, they thought I would have a normal reproductive life after cancer. I have a lot of friends who’ve had cancer and gone on to have babies; it’s very common. I was just one of the unlucky ones.
On picking a human from a catalogue. If I could give anyone advice about choosing a sperm donor, it would be: More information does not make the choice easier. One donor, for example, we were sure we wanted to go with — until we heard a recording of his voice. He had the most annoying laugh in the world. Another had a horrible chin. These were characteristics you’d never discount your partner for, because you love them despite their flaws. But in a sperm-donor catalogue, you can come up with a lot of reasons not to pick someone.
Eventually, we did pick someone, bought ten vials of his sperm, and set off to do an IUI. We did our first one and were stupid enough to immediately go out and buy What to Expect When You’re Expecting . As if we’d be pregnant that day. I think we wound up throwing it away. It took so many more years to get a baby, it didn’t feel relevant anymore.
On using up their sperm supply. After the first failed IUI, we moved states. Once we were settled, I went and got assessed by a new fertility doctor, who told me I had a less than one percent chance of ever getting pregnant with my own eggs, even with IVF. And then, the day after I found that out, my ex-husband announced his new wife was pregnant. It was a really difficult week.
We did some mourning. I did some very deep mourning. Then we tried five more IUIs on my wife, and all five failed. At that point, we were running out of sperm. I had to go back and buy more sperm, which was the most demoralizing experience ever. Sperm is ridiculously expensive: It’s about $700 a vial. I realized we’d spent $11,000 on sperm. I worked at a university at the time, surrounded by all these young men. I was just imagining that there was so much sperm around me, at all times of the day. All free! And I was going broke, buying thousands of dollars’ worth of sperm off the internet.
On confronting a bias and maxing out savings. Our fertility clinic suggested what’s called reciprocal IVF: They’d take my wife’s egg, make embryos with donor sperm, and put the embryo in me. So I could be pregnant, carrying my wife’s child. We thought about it and debated for a while. I’d said before that I would rather live childless than go through IVF. I had some weird bias against it — I mean, partially because it’s so expensive. Ultimately, we did decide to do three rounds.
We maxed out our pharmacy benefits within the first ten days. My wife took a loan from her parents, I took a loan from my parents. Our savings were decimated. We went through these three rounds. Two failed, and one miraculously resulted in a pregnancy.
On coping with a miscarriage. It was the night that Robin Williams killed himself. I was watching that on CNN, and then I just started to bleed all over the place. I sent my wife out for wine and Parliament Lights. I was like, Time to smoke and drink my way through this miscarriage .
We felt like it w
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