SFTU 2. Grandma's Regret (Could Have Had a Desk Job)

Updated: 2022-07-25
By: Dr. Floyd
Summary: A theoretical fantasy-world, where women would rather be miserable corporate pawns than mothers.
Tags: opportunity cost, feminism, fraud, single moms, government brides

Grandma's babysitting again,

to give her kids a few days off,

"good night, nana"

hiss the tedious undue burdens

She shakes her head

turns off the light

and goes downstairs

to her beloved screen

to the memory of her dream

And through the tears, she says

I could have had a desk job,

for some important micro-penised jew,

I could have been somebody,

not this failure I see in front of me,

I could have taken a picture

next to a volcano

(caption: here I am, standing here),

I could have wandered, each day, up to the Hollywood sign (with the rest of the heroes)

now, it's too late

I'll never be free

to drink and smoke

and gossip with some cats

I could have had a desk job

She thinks of all the times

she missed out on male strippers

and office birthdays

with a cake shaped like a penis

(sexy, sassy, silly, bitchy)

nothing could be worse

than being chained down to a family,

now the only hope left for happiness

is murder-suicide

so whenever you notice

a grandma struggling,

to hide all the child-hate she has within her,

remember she never wanted this,

she wanted to be free — to drink and smoke and gossip with some cats

she could have had a desk job,

for some important micro-penised jew,

she could have been somebody,

not this failure you see in front of you,

[Side note]

–Dr. Floyd

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