Why Women Masturbate
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Why Women Masturbate
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When you masturbate, certain hormones are released that can help alleviate menstrual pain. Masturbation also helps to relax the muscles that are cramping, causing you pain.
After masturbating, your blood pressure is low, your body is in a state of relaxation, and your mind is at ease, allowing you to fall into a deeper sleep.
Masturbation can allow you to get yourself on a deep, personal level. Getting to know your body better means learning more about it and appreciating it more.
Masturbation not only feels good physically, it makes you feel good mentally as well because you get to know, firsthand, what your amazing body is capable of.
When masturbating, you work the muscles in your pelvic area. It's like exercising — practice makes perfect. The more you use these muscles, the better they will work.
Just like with exercising, masturbation releases endorphins throughout your body. It also allows you to only focus on one thing, which can ease your mind and put you in a state of relaxation.
You can't get an STD from yourself. If you're using a sex toy, you should always practice good hygeine. But you don't have to worry about contracting an STD/STI from yourself. Rock on.
While masturbating, your vaginal muscles will stretch, secreting a vaginal mucus. This will allow for fluid circulation, which will then flush out bacteria hanging out where you don't want them.
Again, like exercise, masturbation has positive effects on your overall body. While masturbating, cells that fight off sickness are released in your body. One clinical sexologist even suggested that masturbation is healthier than brushing your teeth .
When you have less stress, a heightened body image, and more positive self-esteem...you feel happier. What's not to love?
As mentioned earlier, you can't contract STDs through masturbation. And you can't really contract anything else, either. The only thing you should worry about? Minor chafing. Otherwise, giddy up.
It's like riding a bike — the more you do it the better you are! Masturbation also allows you to get to know your body better, which means you'll have a better idea of what gets you to that shining moment.
Two items in a previous version of this post included incorrect information and have been removed: a) masturbation is believed to help prevent type 2 diabetes, and b) masturbation may help prevent UTIs. Wishful thinking on our part, oops!
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"It has nothing to do with you. I repeat: It. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. You."
My ex-boyfriend couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I don’t mean that he was a huge fan of PDA — he actually wasn't. I mean he was handsy in bed, in that he would physically prevent me from touching myself.
It was the oddest thing. We’d be having sex, and I’d feel the desire to reach between my legs for a little massage. My ex would spot this, push my hand away, and try to get the job done himself. I hated it. It completely took me out of the moment, and it never resulted in a good orgasm for me.
My ex wasn’t the only one who suffered from handsiness. A few of my former sexual partners have acted like they were emotionally wounded by the fact that my hand was on my clitoris. In my experience, when I touch myself during sex, men tend to react one of two ways: They either think they’re not getting me off, so they get offended or ask what they can do; or they think it’s some coded way for me to tell them that I want them to touch me, so they take matters into their own hands.
I’m here to tell you that neither is the case. Guys, if your partner touches herself during sex, she's doing it because it feels good, and you should leave her to it. Most of the time, our touching ourselves has nothing to do with you. I repeat: It. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. You. Period. End of story.
Women masturbate. A lot. In fact, according to a survey of 1,200 Americans by the sex toy maker TENGA, 81% of women have masturbated at some point in their lives, and on average they do it about twice a week — less often than men, yes, but still fairly often. Further, a sizable chunk of women (about 30%) report preferring masturbation to sex, as opposed to 21% of men.
So why is this the case? Well, when you dig deeper into the data, it becomes pretty clear: women are having way fewer orgasms than their male partners are. According to a 2009 survey from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, only 64% of women reported having an orgasm during their last encounter, as opposed to 91% of straight men. (Note that this only applies to heterosexual women: by and large, women who have sex with women do not have this problem.)
This so-called " orgasm gap " is primarily due to the fact that most women simply can't get off from straight-up P-in-V sex. In fact, according to one study, only 18% of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone. The vast majority need some form of clitoral stimulation to get things going, which is why we may polish ourselves off from time to time while we're having sex with you. It's just our way of ensuring that we’re enjoying ourselves, too.
If you see us polishing ourselves off during sex, your first impulse may be to step in and offer your services by pausing the action to give us oral sex or to (literally) give us a hand. And in a lot of cases, we are more than happy to let you do so.
But sometimes, you just need to leave us to it — not because we don't think you're capable of pleasuring us, but because we know how to get ourselves off. The same way you are very well acquainted with every nook and cranny of your penis, we are close, personal friends with our clits. We know what feels good. And sometimes, we just want to take the lead instead of giving you directions to our clitorises midway through sex like we're air traffic controllers.
So the next time your woman reaches down between her legs during sex, don’t just push her hand away. You can ask her if she wants any help, but if she says, "Nah, I'm good," then just leave her to it. Pay attention to what she's doing, and see what she’s into. If she gets off on being watched, say, "It's so hot to watch you do that," and narrate the action together. You may learn something. And even if you don’t, I’ve heard it’s very fun to watch.
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Of course, one of them is the fact that it feels so damn good.
One in five men indulge in self-love at least four times a week. But only 5 percent of women between the ages of 25 and 29 do the same, according to Indiana University's National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior . And that’s the group of women who solo sex themselves the most!
What are you waiting for, ladies? Masturbating is more than just a ticket to O-Town—it can offer loads of health benefits, too. “Even for women who are partnered, it can be a very healthy part of self-care,” says Kelley Johnson, Ph.D., a North Carolina-based clinical sexologist . She recommends women schedule “me time” at least twice a week.
Here, 10 damn good reasons to schedule a party for one tonight.
1 . It keeps your pelvic floor strong. You know practicing your Kegels on the reg keeps those deep muscles working in tip-top shape, but bringing yourself to orgasm will do the same and then some. Essentially, masturbating also keeps the body’s orgasmic functions—like vaginal lubrication—tuned up so you’re ready for your next romp, says Johnson.
2. It’ll help you chill. Exploring your land down under can pump out endorphins and mood-boosting hormones that reduce stress, tension , and feelings of depression, says Johnson. Bonus: Achieving that orgasm can help you sleep better, too, she says.
3. It can help relieve pain. The hormones that help you think happy thoughts can take away the discomfort that comes with issues like low-level headaches, rheumatoid arthritis, and menstrual cramps. “A good orgasm can really have a positive impact on pain itself ,” says Johnson.
4. You’ll uncover your deepest sexual fantasies. When you’re alone, your (dirty) mind is free to wander to whatever revs your engine. “With masturbation , we’re stimulating fantasy and the mental component of sexual health, which is really important,” says Johnson. “That fantasy can pique your interest into sexual scenarios worth trying in the future," she says. "And it may open doors to things that you’ve never thought about.” Adding a third party , perhaps?
5. No mood setting required. Light the candles if that’s what you’re into, but the real beauty of masturbating is you don’t have anyone to impress.
6. It’ll help you figure out how things work. “Guys are kind of easy to figure out sexually, but women are much more complex,” says Johnson. Between the clitoris and the vagina, there are plenty of potential areas for stimulation . Your mission: Figure out what gets you off. “We have to discover that for ourselves, and then we communicate that to our partner,” says Johnson. “It allows us to know who we are as a sexual person and what it takes to help us enjoy sex the most that we can.”
7. There are no risks involved. Solo sex is the safest sex. “Of course, you can’t get pregnant masturbating,” says Johnson. “And if you’re only using your toys, no STDs.” There’s also no “what if the condom breaks” panic getting in the way of your pleasure. Peace of mind is such a turn on, amiright?
8. It’ll boost your libido. The more you masturbate , the more comfortable you’ll be with your body and your sexuality, which can make your next two-person sesh more satisfying. “We really need to maintain a regular practice to maintain an interest in our sexuality and desire,” says Johnson. “If we’re not actively stimulating ourselves on a regular basis , sex just becomes completely unimportant.” In other words: If you don’t use it, you lose it.
9. You can do it your way. Who cares about his favorite position ? Masturbation is all about you. “A question I get a lot is, ‘This is the way I masturbate, is it normal?’ and the answer is always yes,” says Johnson. Whether you use a vibrator or your fingers, lie on your back or your belly, press your vulva against a pillow or cross your legs and squeeze, if it helps you head to O-town, you’re doing it right.
10. It feels really freakin’ good. The best reason of all.
Medically Reviewed by Carol DerSarkissian, MD on March 30, 2022
Men may talk about it more often, but women do it, too.
More than half of American women 18-49 masturbate at least once every 3 months, according to a study from The Kinsey Institute, and that’s true for single women and those who are coupled up. Self-pleasure doesn’t have the stigma it once did, says Nicole Prause, PhD, but myths still affect the way that some women feel about it -- and how they do (or don’t) touch themselves.
Here are five things you should know about masturbation .
Masturbating increases blood flow throughout your body and releases feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins. “That may explain why there’s a clear mood benefit, even if you don’t orgasm,” says Prause, a sexuality researcher at UCLA. And while men are more likely to talk about blowing off steam by masturbating, research suggests it’s a stress-reliever for both sexes. “It takes your mind [off your worries] while activating areas of the brain associated with pleasure,” Prause says.
Masturbation can make you sexually comfortable and confident. “It puts you in touch with your desires and gives you the chance to get to know your own body,” says sexuality educator Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD. “Experimenting with what feels good and makes you respond positively can lead to better sexual experiences, both alone and with a partner.”
If you have trouble reaching orgasm, it’s a private, stress-free way to try different types of touch and pressure to see what helps you climax, Fulbright says.
Many women see changes during menopause. Masturbation can help, says Judi Chervenak, MD, a gynecologist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
“The vagina can actually narrow, which can make intercourse and vaginal exams more painful.” But masturbation, especially with a water-based lubricant, can help prevent narrowing, boost blood flow, relieve some tissue and moisture problems, and increase sexual desire, Chervenak says.
The media may suggest otherwise, but masturbation isn’t just a “quickie” experience. That’s OK. “Rushing can make it less enjoyable, and so can focusing too much on orgasm,” Fulbright says. “Give yourself time to touch all parts of your body or try different positions, and don’t feel pressure to climax.”
Nearly half of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a sex toy like a dildo or vibrator, according to a survey by Ashley Leonard at Robert Morris University. If you’ve had trouble reaching orgasm and want to climax, a vibrator (which stimulates the nerve endings in the clitoris) may be helpful.
Don’t worry whether it will lead to sex problems later down the line, Prause says. “Put simply, if it feels good, go for it.”
Herbenick, D. The Journal of Sexual Medicine , October 2010.
Hambach, A. Cephalalgia, February 2013.
Nicole Prause, PhD, sexuality researcher, University of California, Los Angeles.
Yvonne Fulbright, PhD, sexologist and sexuality educator, American University, Washington, DC.
Judi Chervenak, MD, gynecologist and reproductive endocrinologist, Montefiore Medical Center, New York.
www.drspeg.com: "An Investigation of Masturbation and Coping Style."
National Library of Medicine: "Vulvovaginal Atrophy."
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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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