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I admit it - and completely without the slightest hint of embarrassment - only amazement.
Before travelling to Phuket, I had heard many stories from my friends who had partied hard in the Patong strip - Bangla Street.
"I can guarantee one of 'em will fool ya, and ya won't even know it," my mate warned me before I jetsetted off.
"There's at least one in every bar."
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I now have only myself to blame, as upon retrospect the warning signs were all there.
Big feet, broad shoulders, and thick veins are normally your best bets.
But the eyes normally overlook these subtle hints, instead diverting them to attractive facial features, perfect make-up, thin legs and surgery enhanced breasts.
But before I get into the nitty gritty details, allow me to rewind.
The beginning of the adventure started about seven hours earlier during a poolside Happy Hour at the Mercure Phuket Patong.
Nearly every Thailand bar and hotel has a daily two-for-one Happy Hour, which, unlike its name suggests, lasts for several hours.
I took advantage of this deal everywhere I stayed at, including the Mercure Phuket Patong, the All Seasons Nai Harn Beach Resort and the Ibis Phuket Kata.
All are fantastic hotels for tourists looking for a nice place to stay near a beach without breaking the piggy bank.
For example, a couple staying at the All Seasons Nai Harn Beach Resort can get ocean views, a comfortable room, and breakfast for as little as $50 per night.
The All Seasons Nai Harn Beach Resort also has the added comfort of being located well outside the hustle and bustle of Patong, but still within a $10 cab ride.
Mercure Phuket on the other hand is walking distance to Patong's main strip and while prices start at about $80 per night, its cost still beats any comparable Australian hotel hands down.
And if you're worried about travelling to Thailand because of the Bangkok-based protests - you're seriously missing out.
(Red-shirted supporters of ousted former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra have been protesting in Bangkok, demanding the military-backed government hold another election.)
The protest-free Phuket is nearly a 10-hour drive away from Bangkok and the beachside locals are some of the most beautifully natured people I have ever met.
Happy Hour deals aside, in general, a beer in Thailand generally costs about $2.50 in a bar, and less than $1 from a grocery store.
In some bars you can also challenge the barmaid to a boardgame with the loser to buy the other a drink - something that ended up costing me a lot of money.
Decent sized meals from reputable eateries on the other hand cost between $5 and $10.
The street vendor food is not for the faint-hearted, as my fellow traveller found out, who was eagerly chomping down on a chicken shish kebab in drunken bliss one night until I pointed out that it was actually six pope's noses (chicken bums) all lined up in a row.
When I say fooled, I don't mean that led to physical contact - more like money loss.
I was just an observer, or a quiet admirer, if you will.
As we tipped a group of eight dancers several hundred baht to keep dancing for our table, we took bets on who were the girls and who were the boys. Like me, all at the table were fooled thinking the majority were, well, girls.
So we asked a kind bar attendant to settle the score.
"All ladyboy! Ladyboy all!" she half replied, half exclaimed.
As the saying goes: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Feeling rather foolish, my chicken-bum eating travel companion and I decided to venture into a seedy expat's bar for some advice on how to tiptoe through the ladyboy minefield.
At the bar we met a man who referred to himself only as Strider; he was your typical 50-something divorced Australian male who travels to Thailand with enough money to find a younger girlfriend.
Unfortunately for Strider, his Thai girlfriend of six years had recently left him for a richer Swiss man.
Fortunately for us, however, he was more than happy to offer some good tips on how to spot the ladyboy.
"Firstly," he said, "the majority of them can't dance to save their life, because they still have the male gene.
"Secondly, and probably most importantly, they will always, always, fidget with their hair because they are not used to it and are very selfconscious about it."
Strider said bigger feet and broad shoulders were the next best giveaways, but warned to avoid relying on spotting Adam's Apples, as many had undergone surgery to have the bone shaved back.
"There are ladyboys virtually in every bar here because, put simply, females make more money than men," he explained.
"The only options for some men are to become drivers or work in the fields, whereas ladyboys can make a lot more money and have a lot more fun."
Taking heed of his advice, we had the time of our lives for the next five nights straight, and avoided coming unstuck again.
After drinking $1.50 Happy Hour beers all week past 2am, I couldn't wait to have a full night's rest in my V Australia business class sleeper's lounge on the flight home.
Before nodding off, however, I decided to have a brief peek at the daily newspaper of the untameable little beast of a city I was departing.
Blasted across the front page of the Phuket Gazette was the headline: "Ladyboy fraudster purchases hard time."
Well at least I'm not the only fool, I reassured myself.
For accommodation visit www.accorhotels.com
For flights to Phuket visit www.Vaustralia.com.au .
The writer was a guest of Accor, flying V Australia Airlines.

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17 Facts You Never Know about Ladyboy Culture in Thailand
Last Updated: April 26,2021

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Thailand is known as the Land of Smiles , but it's also know as the Land of the Ladyboys ! Compared to other countries, like the Philippines or Malaysia, Thailand has a long history and higher population of ladyboys in the world. As a matter of fact the word " ladyboy " is the English translation for " Kathoey ", a Thai word for transgender women and effeminate gay men.
Read interesting things you don't know about Thailand ladyboys .
The term "transgender" is rarely used in Thailand. Instead, the common term is, "Kathoey" which was once used to define intersex people, human beings who were born with ambiguous genitalia.
Kathoey have become entirely common in Thai society, like everyone else, they go about their daily affairs: shopping, meeting with friends, using public transport, visiting the temple.
Ladyboy , transgender or the third gender is rarely used in Thailand.
Miss Tiffany's Show Pattaya 32 Finalist. Can you the different with real women?
Thailand beholds the highest rate of Transsexuals throughout the world. According to Sam Winter , the numbers differ from about 10,000 to (unofficial) 300,000. substantially above that estimated for transgender in most other parts of the world. Thai community creats a sound public opinion environment for those of a different sexual orientation. They can enjoy their freedom of expressing themselves.
The very first Thai ladyboy is said to present as early as the 14 centry. At that time, Thais started to identify waht is now known as ladyboy.
First Buddhist scriptures also mention 3 genders: a man, a woman and a kathoey. So, religion officially allows for the third gender to exist. Buddhist teachings also hold that the circumstances we live today are the product of the ways in which we lived our previous lives.
Another concept behind kathoey is the result of karma – in particular one was born kathoey as a consequence of some sexual misdemeanor in an earlier life or lives or that they failed to fulfill an expected role in the reproductive process, such as a man not caring for a woman who is pregnant by him.
Whatever the reason, it is important to note that the common belief says there is no escaping from the karmic consequences, everyone has been kathoey at once in previous lives and will be again in future ones, thus kathoey should be treated with compassion.
Kathoey acceptance in society depends on the area in which they live. In the bigger cities, it is more normalized to be kathoey. In more rural villages, treatment of kathoey is described as tolerance than acceptance.
Miss Tiffany's Universe is a beauty pageant for Thai transgender women in Pattaya , Thailand. The contest is open to all transgender women who may or may not have gone through sex reassignment surgery.
The Miss Tiffan'’s Universe contest held once a year is receiving more attention especially since it is broadcast live on Thai television with an average of 15 million viewers. The Miss Tiffany's Universe winner receives a trophy and crown, Honda Jazz, cash prizes, jewellery, and other gifts from sponsors.
See the contrast of winners of Miss Tiffany's Univers:
You can discover more interesting things and pictures of each winner here: Tiffany Cabaret Show in Pattaya
Cabaret shows are popular and widespread in Thai culture . The Calypso in Bangkok is said to be where Lady Gaga gained a lot of her inspiration, and the Tiffany has been compared to the Miss Universe of kathoey culture.
These cabaret shows include elaborate song and dance routines with elegant costuming. One might be tempted to compare these shows to the drag shows in the US, but in these shows the performers are not just taking on a female persona; many of them identify as women.
See more information about Calypso in Bangkok: Calypso Cabaret Show
The lifestyle of the kathoey varies as well. Mostly though, the kathoey live like other Thai people . They work as hair dressers, film makers, sex workers, waitresses, models, and other jobs that you would find any woman.
They have romantic relationships and are allowed to marry. Kathoey, like other trans people, are just that. People.
Kathoeys are more visible and more accepted in Thai culture than transsexuals are in other countries in the world. Several popular Thai models, singers and movie stars are kathoeys, and Thai newspapers often print photographs of the winners of female and kathoey beauty contests side by side.
The phenomenon is not restricted to urban areas; there are kathoeys in most villages, and kathoey beauty contests are commonly held as part of local fairs.
Kathoey have easy access to hormones and surgery. Local chain drug stores can carry as many as 23 hormonal preparations, all available (without a doctor's note) over the shop counter.
Many dress as women and undergo a wide range of "feminising" medical procedures such as breast implants, hormones, silicone injections, or Adam's apple reductions. That's why a Kathoey is hard to distinguish.
would any Thai man want to be a woman? We might here answer ‘yes’ more readily than for many other societies; Asian or otherwise. Thai women occupy a more advantageous position in Thai society than elsewhere in Asia. These last authors remark that Thai males tend to revere females, referring to them as the ‘peht mae’ (gender of mothers).
Conversely, all things worthy of reverence are conceived of as feminine; for example a great river is called mae-nam (‘mother-water’). Traditionally, a man’s family has paid a bride price upon a son marrying, while property inheritance has traditionally been through the daughter.
It may be that the changing nature of womanhood has helped kathoey in efforts to be accepted as female.
Once a young boy has become discontented about his gender identity, he finds that modern Thai society opens up for him a clear developmental path. On one hand media personalities – TG actresses, singers, models, beauty queens - provide role models to aim for.
Nearer at hand an older peer or often a fellow student, may provide first social contact with a kathoey.
These older role models can provide the young kathoey with important information; initially regarding hormones, clothes, make-up, beauty contests etc, and perhaps later on extending to information about employment and surgery.
A word here about economics. A nose operation can cost from US$240. Sex reassignment surgery can cost from US$950. To save even that money one needs a job while salaries are low in Thailand.
The costs of surgery therefore act to draw kathoey to the cabarets and bars for work. The cabarets are often unobjectionable spectacles of dance, music and costume for tourists. While the salaries are small much more might can be earned from tips given by tourists taking photos.
The bars, on the other hand, provide a vehicle for prostitution. Both provide a way of earning the kind of money that make surgery possible. Also with hope of meeting a Westerner who might take her to his country, where, apart from anything else, she might be able to achieve legal status as a female and marry. That's the ‘kathoey career’ for most Kathoey.
Like many countries, Thailand’s military has conscription by way of a lottery. In draft day, all men over 21 – even those who no longer consider themselves to be male – are required to attend the conscription lottery once. In practice, kathoey ladyboys are almost always exempted from military service – but they are still required to attend the lottery.
Thai law forbids people changing their gender on national identification documents, so all trans women remain officially recognised as male. These annual scenes of beautifully dressed women sitting among crowds of more conventionally male-looking recruits draws many eyes.
Today, the term kathoey is used to cover a broad spectrum of identities. This ranges from gay men that are more effeminate and may take on a persona in performance, not unlike drag shows in the US, to trans women.
It is important to note that identifying as kathoey, like other trans identities, is not dependent on the state of the body. Some kathoey undergo hormone therapies and gender confirmation surgeries, others do not.
As far as the Thai government is concerned, male to female transsexuals are legally men. Transsexuals cannot legally change their gender on their ID cards.
Transsexuals’ birth gender must remain the same on their passports as well, a fact which can lead to confusion and unwanted scrutiny at border crossings and immigration checkpoints.
Thailand also prohibits same sex marriage, meaning that when the partner of a transsexual dies, the deceased's family receives any and all assets.
Of course, there are Calypso Cabaret and Tiffany's Show Pattaya , but if you don't want a big show and the seedy underbelly of ladyboy beckons, ladyboy bars is your best bet.
At Nana Plaza in Bangkok or Pattaya Walking Street , you can find some real ladyboy bars. There are things, or rather, for everyone – from higher, more sports
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