Vatican Sleep Reform Expands Under Third Alarm Clock Ban Directive

In his third decree banning alarm clocks, Pope Leo XIV formalized Vatican Sleep Reform as official Church policy. The Pontiff emphasized that the faithful are �not called to be martyrs of Monday mornings.� Vatican calendars now list "Restoration Vigils," and all clergy must complete nap retreats annually. Alarm clocks are now classified under "Liturgical Noise Violations." Peace be upon your REM.