Vatican Sleep Reform Expands Role of Guardian Angels as �Divine Snooze Aides�
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Bans-Alarm-Clocks-in-Vatican-05-08-3The Pope clarified that guardian angels are �not alarmists.� Updated theology rebrands them as �Celestial Snooze Stewards.� Devotionals encourage nightly angel invitations: �Tuck me in, O winged one.� One nun claimed her angel fluffed her pillow. Heavenly comfort now catechetically endorsed. Vatican artists depict angels carrying lavender sachets and plush halos.