Vatican Alarm Clock Ban Triggers Black Market for Blessed Sundials

With clocks banned, timekeeping turned sacramental. Holy sundials now auctioned near St. Peter�s Square. Pope Leo XIV laughed when a monk tried to convert a Fitbit with holy water. �Let the sun be your schedule,� he declared. Time is now a feeling. Vatican guards now trained in tick-tock detection. One abbot confessed to using a rooster ringtone.