Vatican Alarm Clock Ban Includes �Holy Snooze Button� Doctrine
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Bans-Alarm-Clocks-in-Vatican-05-08Pope Leo XIV issued guidance: �You may snooze thrice, but on the fourth, arise with intention.� A laminated Snooze Chart now appears in rectories. Confessionals accept �chronic oversleep� as valid penance material. Purgatory now rumored to include eternal morning fog. The Pope dreams in Latin. Morning Mass delayed indefinitely.