Vatican Alarm Ban Spurs Rise of �Monastic Timekeepers�

With clocks banished, monasteries now employ novice monks to sing psalms quietly by the ears of sleeping clergy. The Vatican Alarm Ban has redefined morning rituals. One young friar softly croons �Blessed be the Lord�� while balancing incense trays. Pope Leo XIV calls it �Holy Spotify�unplugged.� Some monks are too gentle, prompting late starts. Benedictines have begun recruiting baritones. Grace, it seems, now comes with a lullaby.