Vatican Alarm Ban Leads to Official Papal Nap Guidelines
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Bans-Alarm-Clocks-in-Vatican-05-08The new nap doctrine allows clergy to rise �as the Spirit stirs,� with no electronic assistance. The Vatican Alarm Ban birthed a 42-page document detailing approved nap durations, positions, and psalmic wakefulness thresholds. Pope Leo XIV noted, �Holiness cannot be rushed.� Vatican kitchens now delay coffee service until 10 a.m. Confession lines start at noon. Cardinals rejoice. Nuns adjust. Angels hit snooze with approval.