Tips For Shy Guys

Tips For Shy Guys
We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy . Cookie Settings
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/13\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/13\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-1-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Smile and hold eye contact from across a room. If you don’t know the shy guy you’re interested in, start to catch his attention with subtle moves. Try smiling at him during class or over lunch, and make eye contact for 2 or 3 seconds before looking away. [1]
X
Research source

You never know, maybe the guy has had his eye on you for a while too. If that’s the case, your open, engaging behavior may give him a needed confidence-boost and lead to conversations and dates.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-2-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Make light physical contact to show your interest. Physical touch can indicate personal, romantic interest. A touch on the arm or pat on the shoulder is fine. However, if he seems fine with it, then you should continue to do it every once in a while. As the 2 of you get to know each other a little better, try giving him hugs or touching his hand to get his attention.
If the guy recoils when you touch him, lay off of physical touch for a couple weeks. He may warm up to the idea more once you two know each other better.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/eb\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/eb\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-3-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Contact him on a social network. If the guy has a Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter account, follow his page and leave a few "likes" and comments. This won’t come across as overbearing or intimidating, and will give him a chance to think about his reply to your post. You can even "Like" a few of his pictures, and leave a slightly flirty comment on one or two of them. [2]
X
Research source

Find a picture in which he looks good, and comment something like "Wow! You look amazing," or "I wish I’d been there with you!"

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/85\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/85\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Strike up a casual conversation with the guy. Small talk is usually rather impersonal and can consist of topics like: the homework, weather, teachers, vacation plans, or something on the news. If you don’t go to school with him, maybe ask what he likes to do other than homework, and school. If the conversation goes well, try talking to him again later in the week. [3]
X
Research source

Say something like, "Hi, I think we’re in the same Physics class! What did you think of that homework last night? It took me several hours."
Don’t worry if you’re doing most of the talking for the first few conversations. It might take the guy a few conversations to start opening up to you. [4]
X
Expert Source

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d9\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d9\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-5-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Ask for the guy’s number. A direct approach is best; don’t try to play games or to get his number from somebody else. Getting his phone number is a flirty move that will let him know you’re interested in him as a potential romantic partner. It will also allow the 2 of you to have more drawn-out conversations.

Say something like, "Hey, I’ve enjoyed talking to you at school for the past couple of weeks. It’d be fun if we could keep the conversation going when we’re not together; could I get your number?"
Remember, if he doesn’t text you first, don’t sweat it. If he’s shy in person with you, he’ll be shy over text at first too!

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/12\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/12\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-6-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Attempt to talk to him a few times a week. By talking to him a few times a week, you will begin to establish a bond and let him know that you’re interested in being more than an occasional conversation partner. Until he opens up to you fully, try to lead the conversation by asking him questions. This will encourage him to talk more and even confide in you. [5]
X
Research source

Ask things like:

"My family and I usually take a trip up to Aspen every winter. Do you travel often with your family?"
"I like your shirt; The Ramones are a great band. Do you have a favorite record by them?"

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-7-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Ask him out for a date. Asking him out is a great way to move things to the next level, and it’ll also let him know unequivocally where you stand regarding the relationship. Make sure to ask him out in private so that the guy doesn’t feel nervous. Shy people can be very protective of their emotions, and he may hate feeling pressured. [6]
X
Research source

Say something like, "You know, I like being around you, and it’s been fun to get to know you better. Would you like to go out on a date sometime?"
"I’m attracted to you and I’d like it if we could spend more time together. Can we go out sometime; we could get coffee or see a movie?"

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-8-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Suggest an activity that you know he’ll enjoy. The shy guy may not have a lot of personal confidence, or may need engaging activities to help bring him out of his shell. In either case, try to find an activity or environment that you’ll both feel comfortable and at-ease in. Go to a volunteering event together, or have lunch at a café nearby. [7]
X
Research source

Make sure that you’ll enjoy the date too! If the guy loves mini golf but you can’t stand it, find a different activity.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/56\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/56\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-9-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Hang out with the guy in social settings. Just because the guy you’re interested in is shy doesn’t mean that he’s a social recluse. So, throw a small party and invite a few people you know he’ll be comfortable with. Make it fun by trying some ice-breaking games and a bottle of wine (if you’re all over 21).

Or, invite the guy to meet a few of your friends at a coffee shop or an art museum.
If the guy likes movies, invite him to see a movie with you and a couple friends.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c0\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c0\/Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg\/aid166679-v4-728px-Get-a-Shy-Guy-Step-10-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Keep the first few hang-outs low-key. Fancy, extravagant dates can lead to high-pressure, uncomfortable situations, especially for a shy guy. The good news is that there are plenty of ways for the 2 of you to spend time together doing things that aren’t stereotypical dates. Take hikes or go cycling together, do a fun bar-hop on a weekday evening, or go sledding in winter. [8]
X
Research source

For example, maybe going out to public places is not his thing. Suggest a movie at your house or something else that’s low-key.
You could also suggest getting drive-through dinner and parking someplace quiet to eat and talk.
During your time together, listen to what he says so that you can get a feel for what he's comfortable doing. For example, if he says loud places make him uncomfortable, then you'll know not to invite him to a concert.

How do you get a shy guy to open up?

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

They probably won't open up right away if they indeed are shy! And that's ok. A more reasonable goal would be to put the shy guy at ease while you interact. Don't be too chatty. Choose your words carefully, make sure you look interested and friendly and ask them a question about something in the immediate environment or event you are both at.

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

You accept them for who and how they are. Don't try to change them. If you can't handle being with a shy guy, move on. Accept that you might do the initiating for a while.

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

They might do a quick glance your way and then look away. If they don't walk away after you first talk to them, that is good too. Don't expect something very obvious; trust your instincts!

By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube.

This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD . Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 686,443 times.

"Just relax, smile at him, and just be you!"

Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy .
% of people told us that this article helped them.

"Just relax, smile at him, and just be you!"

Helpful how-tos delivered to your inbox every week!
By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.

This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD . Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

This article has been viewed 686,443 times.

Shy guys are often considered attractive because their quietness seems to indicate maturity, intelligence, or mystery. If you have a crush on a shy guy, though, don’t count on him being the one to make a move or ask you out. Remember, most shy people don’t open up right away. Make sure that he’s comfortable being around you, and bring up the idea of dating once you and he have had a few enjoyable conversations.

Support wikiHow and unlock all samples .
Support wikiHow and unlock all samples .
Support wikiHow and unlock all samples .
If you have a crush on a shy guy, don’t wait for him to ask you out or make a move. Instead, catch his attention by smiling at him during class or making eye contact with him during lunchtime. To strike up a conversation with your shy guy, try some casual comments about class or vaction plans. When you’re talking to him, give him a light touch on the arm or a pat on the shoulder every so often to hint at your romantic interest. As you become more comfortable together, ask for his number by saying something like “Hey, I’ve liked talking to you for the last few weeks. It would be fun if we could talk more. Could I get your number?” Then, try to text or call him a few times a week to let him know you’re interested in being more than casual friends. To learn how to ask a shy guy out, keep reading!

July 15, 2019 May 31, 2022 |
Jayshree Vk

Watch him emerge from his shell as he gets more comfortable talking to you
He will surprise you with the loveliest of things
A fresh blogger, having a great sense of humor, a teacher, an educationist, academic coordinator, a social media enthusiast, entertainment critic, die-hard foodie, mother of two girls and a dog, a troubleshooter who believes every life problem can be solved by thinking practically.
all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. We’re your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love.
“So keep in mind some questions to ask me to avoid those awkward silences. A drink or two wouldn’t hurt my confidence either,” said one shy boyfriend. Another said, “Give me time to get to know you. Let’s chat about things of mutual interest in the first few dates, or you can even pick the most bizarre subjects. Just please don’t stare me down during awkward silences.” Dating a shy guy is no cakewalk, but we’re here to tilt the chances of success in your favor.
There comes a phase in your life when you realize that you are wasting your time dating immature, self-obsessed Casanovas. In your quest to find the tall, dark, handsome, and overtly romantic gentleman, you may be overlooking the perfect soulmate that is standing right next to you. Don’t feel ignored if he is quiet, that’s just
Cock Head Licking
Swinger Bareback
Damien Kyle And Paul Cannon

Tips For Shy Guys

Report Page