Teens First Blowjob

Teens First Blowjob
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Fri., April 24, 2009 timer 3 min. read
Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the Code of Conduct . The Star does not endorse these opinions.
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Middle-class Canadian girls are giving oral sex after school to pay for sweaters and handbags.
Worlds away from the poverty, neglect and drug abuse that are the hallmarks of prostitution, teenagers who appear bright and well- adjusted are prostituting themselves without batting an eyelash.
According to independent filmmaker Sharlene Azam's documentary and book, Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss , the normalization of oral sex as an acceptable teenage activity has led vulnerable girls to use it as a way of becoming socially accepted.
For some in Azam's film, this ultimately leads to payment for sex because, after all, if they are doing it anyway, why not get paid for it?
Azam, 38, a former columnist for the Toronto Star , interviewed Canadian girls (and their parents) who had been discovered by school officials to be involved in sexual activity with groups of boys, as well as girls charged by police. This includes a prostitution ring at an Edmonton high school.
Parents, she says, were not paying close enough attention to their daughters.
Azam is married, with a 3-year-old daughter, and splits her time between Los Angeles and Vancouver.
Q: What sparked this documentary and book?
A: I was at a high school in Burnaby, B.C., researching sexual attitudes for a film I was working on when I was asked to talk to the students in the Flex Program. The Flex kids have been out of school for various problems. In that class, I met a lovely blond girl with perfect makeup and a Louis Vuitton bag who seemed completely out of place. I asked the teacher about her and was told that she had been recruited by a girl at school and trafficked to a small town where she was kept in a motel. That was the beginning of my research into teenage recruiters and the middle-class girls they target. This was a new kind of predator.
Q: You were able to get parental permission to film the girls who were under age. How?
A: Getting the releases was not difficult because the parents wanted to talk about this. There is no forum for them. There is no counselling. There is no social group for a mother whose teenage daughter is having sex with five men a night. The difficulty ... is for the mothers to finally take responsibility for what has happened to their daughters.
The girls were okay talking about giving oral sex to a number of boys – they didn't stumble with the words or appear shy or ashamed. The reason they speak about it unflinchingly is because it has become as benign and as acceptable as kissing. This is what our culture has become. Think back to the '80s when girls would blush when talking about their first kiss. We are way past that point with blowjobs. The real question is, "What's next?"
Q: A lot has been written about rainbow oral sex parties. What do the girls get out of it sexually?
A: I think Heather, 16, explains it best. "I began to associate my own personal power with giving a man pleasure. I liked hearing them make noises because it made me feel powerful to be able to affect someone in that way. I didn't know I had so much power."
Q: Has feminism failed young girls?
A: We failed our girls. What's happened to our girls? We have let Girls Gone Wild and the media culture define them.
Q: What is the boys' role in all of this? Did any of them have to deal with the consequences?
A: It is important to remember that the responsibility lies with parents, teachers and adults. Your question suggests that another adolescent should take responsibility for what is happening. Boys are downloading pornography on their cellphones. This is how they are learning how they are supposed to treat girls.
A: It is not as much a lesson as it is a warning. Who is going to save our girls? You asked me about feminism. I interviewed Gloria Steinem, who was a voice for women. Who is the voice for our girls? Is it the media? Is it boys' opinions of them? Is it the negative images of themselves that they've created from advertising imagery?
The book is available through thenewgoodnightkiss.com. The film aired on European television last year to an estimated 1 million-plus viewers.
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"Ten years old. A creepy 15-year-old boy from the teens' karate class commented about how cute I was and he could see my bra."
Note: This post contains mentions of sexual assault and harassment.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual harassment or violence, you can find professional resources at the bottom of this post.
"They also called us sexy." — mousercritic
"They did stop, but we felt uncomfortable the rest of the trip. It's a beautiful place, but that ruined it for me." — yyccourt
"I think these are the worst ones for me." — kpthornton02
"She really made me feel embarrassed and ashamed of my own body for the first time. It's not just men who sexualize young girls but also women who are 'just looking out for you.'" — lauren9650
"I took it the best way I could — that it was a compliment to my looks — but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was wrong and made me feel scared." — kellir7
"The moral of the story is that my teacher back then was and still is a piece of shit." — weatherboi_12
"He'd also slapped my butt a lot when we walked upstairs and he was behind me. I was scared, so if he was ever behind me, I would go very fast." — annalorraine
"I never wore it again." — clara1meade
"The teacher sat me all the way across the room from him after that and had the other teacher of the other class I had with him do the same thing." — ravenclawlaw05
"I didn't dare touch the cucumber after that." — sawthorn
"I'm sure other people nearby did, as well. It was a pretty crowded hallway. We’re both in ours 40s now and Facebook friends, but I've never mentioned what I heard him say or how it made me feel." — bacire
"I asked them to stop, and they just laughed at me. It made me very uncomfortable." — bellaevans18jsgjf
"This happened at three other intersections. One of the guys was in the paper a week later under rape charges." — theonethatsamess
"It's been over 10 years, and I still don't have that confidence back." — marmalady
"I just said no thanks and walked away. My manager and supervisors were really great about it. Any time he came into the store, I was able to sit in the back until he was gone.
It took me a few years to realize just how disgusting it was for a man in his 50s to ask an obviously 14-year-old to run away to another continent with him." — a_piri_piri
"I told my mom what had happened, and she and my sister-in-law took me to walk around the mall and find him so they could 'have a few words with him.'
We never found him, but for the rest of the day, I was too scared to leave the house, and it scared me for a few months." — jadynmarie
"I don't know what happened to him. He was an old man, too, in his early 60s, I think. This was in the early '90s, so he's probably dead by now. I'm in my 30s now, and it still bothers me." — amberhendricks85
"My mom said, 'No, she needs to lose some weight first.' My uncle kept going on about my chest. I ran into the house and never told anyone. Months later, my uncle raped me." — lobsterthirty
"What 50-year-old man says that to an 11-year-old?! As if him being family takes away from the fact he's creeping on young girls. Ew." — confettiline
"Then, when I was 10, a boy at school would repeatedly ping the back of my bra. I told the teacher, who basically said boys will boys and I shouldn't be so sensitive." — jessbudd
"I never told my mom. I remember going home that night and borrowing my mom's razor to shave my legs. I ended up cutting my other knee with the razor. Fucking asshole." — starshine72
"My dad is quite large, so the waiter was terrified, rightfully so." — jessicam48417f776
"Those people may think their comments don’t matter or it’s just a small thing, but creeping on young kids really affects their lives." — shadeofblue
"I sat in the aisle seat immediately and didn’t sleep the entire flight." — pandaliese
"For the rest of the year, he’d look me up and down every time I came into class or left." — joyously20
"I never told anyone about it, because for some reason, it was so embarrassing, even though it was about 11 years ago." — kristeylou
"It took me forever to realize that it was that sicko's fault and not mine." — jamied41
"He never came to our side of the restaurant again or bothered me. I don't know what my grandpa said, but it scared him good." — saml46833894a
"I never saw that douchebag again. I was so young — thinking back now it's like, WTF?" — nataliesi
"Apparently, the dude was a child molester, and I clearly wasn't the first one he said shit like that to. This was before Megan's Law.
That scumbag was pretty much run out of town by a posse of angry parents since the cops couldn't do anything because he didn't 'technically' do anything wrong." — tastypastry2
"She picked me up and went where my dad was buying our meals. Then, they both went back to confront the dudes." — vanessab4bda3d839
"My mom got me Dairy Queen." — chanl
"My dad commented that my fishnets weren't appropriate. I know my parents didn't mean it, but they made me feel like the harassment was all my fault." — zoecatherinegrant
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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