Spanking My Girlfriend

Spanking My Girlfriend

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25% of Americans fantasize about being spanked during sex. Here's how to try it out — safely and consensually.
Two years ago, I was in a relationship with a man we’ll call Ron. Ron and I had been dating for a few months, and we had a pretty good sex life. One day, we were having sex when I felt a searing pain on my left butt cheek. Ron had slapped me — hard.
I was immediately taken out of the moment. I told him to stop, which he did immediately, and I got out of bed and checked myself in the mirror. There, on my butt, was a perfectly raised welt in the exact shape of his hand.
I pulled on a robe and went back into the bedroom, where Ron was sitting, looking horrified. “OK — that was a little hard,” I told him. “I’m not comfortable with you hitting me like that.” Ron, bless his heart, was incredibly apologetic, and we spent the next ten minutes discussing each other’s boundaries when it came to spanking.
Spanking is one of the most divisive sex acts out there: some people think it's incredibly sexy, while others find it degrading and painful. It’s the brussels sprouts of sex — people either love it or hate it. But it's still one of the most common fetishes out there, with nearly 24% of Americans saying they secretly fantasize about being spanked, according to a 2018 survey , and movies like Secretary and Fifty Shades of Grey have further contributed to its popularity.
As for me, I’ve typically landed in the “thank you, sir, may I have another?” camp when it comes to spanking — but only when I’m with a partner I can trust. I've drawn some lines in the sand when it comes to spanking during sex — and if you and your partner are interested in trying it out, you should too.
Whether you'd rather give or receive, here are 6 things you need to do before you try spanking, so it can be as safe, consensual, and pleasurable as possible.
Most of the time, spanking during sex sort of just happens — but much like any other new sex act, it's really a good idea to have a conversation with your partner before you try it.
“Anything that falls outside of the 'vanilla' world [of sex] — and I would consider spanking outside of the 'vanilla' world — would recommend not only a conversation but a negotiation,” says Namita Caen , DHS, a U.K.-based clinical sexologist and sex and relationship coach. “Not only are you discussing what might be fun to try and what your fantasies might be in regard to spanking, you’re negotiating your desires, your needs, your boundaries, and your limits.”
Overall, the key to a good spanking is proper communication. “Sex is so much better when there’s a level of trust involved,” Caen says. “And that doesn’t really happen without talking it through first.”
The fact is that spanking, while enjoyable for some, can be incredibly triggering for others. It can bring up feelings of danger, or even memories of past abuse. So it’s very, very important to tread lightly — especially because the person on the receiving end of the spank may not have even worked out in their own mind how they feel about being spanked. “Being spontaneous can sometimes mean we haven’t thought through what feels good for us or what we want,” Caen says.
Now, I know what you’re thinking — spanking isn’t exactly a topic that is easy to bring up with your significant other at brunch over eggs Benedict. But there are ways to make the conversation less awkward. Try bringing up the subject “in the context of a situation where you’re already in a sexy seduction mode,” says Caen, like a romantic dinner or a makeout session on the couch.
The conversation doesn’t have to be clinical: in fact, you can bring it up in the context of other fantasies you might have, e.g., "I can't stop thinking about running my hands all over your perfect ass and lightly smacking it," or "The next time you're going down on me, I want you to grab my butt and give it a smack." You might even find you're both so revved up that you'll want to try it out right then and there.
Spanking is one of those sex acts that exists on a huge spectrum: what some people may consider a light love tap, others might consider extraordinarily painful. So before you actually try spanking during sex, it's a good idea to establish what you and your partner is comfortable with. If your partner is the one being spanked, have them tell you how hard they want to be spanked on a scale of one to 10, so you can test it out during the act itself (e.g. "that was about a 4, can we ramp it up to a 6?"). Continue to check in while you're having sex to make sure everything is OK on their end.
Once you’ve defined your boundaries, it’s easy to start incorporating spanking into your sex life, Caen says — you just have to start off slow. Light, playful spanks accompanied by caresses on the butt or inner thighs are a fun form of foreplay. Never try anything more forceful unless your partner has explicitly consented to it, and if they have, make sure you’re both already warmed up. Orgasm can actually lower your pain threshold — so if you’ve agreed on hard slaps, save it for the climax.
Once you've already incorporated spanking into your sex life, don't be afraid to integrate toys into the routine. We like LELO's SENSUA Suede Whip ($54.90) and the Bondage Boutique Black Rose Spanking Paddle ($19.99).

Well, I must admit I am pleased that it’s almost been two weeks and until today, I haven’t witnessed my wife break a rule. She has been on her best behaviour.
Tonight, there was a mishap that I still felt had to be addressed if my word is to mean anything. While I was watching the inauguration, my wife was preparing dinner, and I heard a loud bang followed a very loud, FUCK! Not once, not twice but I think five times.
I went into the kitchen to see a huge salad spilt all over the floor.
Not to toot my own horn, but I was very calm and asked her if she said what I thought she said, and she looked like she saw a ghost. I calmly told her to stand in the corner, the corner I showed which is the designated punishment corner.
She apologized and said she should never speak that way. I told her I appreciated her apology, but she needed to stand in the corner immediately. I lightly took her by the arm, and brought her to the corner, positioned her and told her to think about the language she used and not to turn around.
Whew! The first step accomplished, and I had some time to prepare for the spanking. I decided to have her spend 20 minutes in the corner. I decided since it was her first spanking that I would use mostly my hand and then maybe 10 with the paddle.
After 20 minutes, I insisted she strip and stand in front of me.
I told her I was going to give her a spanking and I asked her why. She answered because I swore.
I put her over my knee and spanked her for about five minutes with my hand. She was quiet, but her behind turned pink.
I then grabbed my paddle, which I had next to the chair and gave her 10 fairly hard spanks. She was no longer quiet and begged me to stop. It was very hard for me, but I carried on and told her this would happen every time she swears. She started crying, and finally, I could tell by her sobbing, and the very red colour of her behind I had spanked her sufficiently. I sent her back to the corner and told her to think about her behaviour. She was crying still.
I made her stand in the corner for another 20 minutes. At the 15 minute mark, I made her turn to me, and I put a bar of soap in her mouth and told her to spend 5 minutes with it in her mouth.
She gagged a little and then I turned her back to face the corner.
I spent these five minutes lecturing her on how inappropriate it is for a lady of her beauty and intelligence to use such words. It will not be tolerated, and I hope that your behind will remind you not to. I could tell she wanted to speak but couldn’t because of the soap. When her corner time was finished, I let her spit out the soap and had her watch me put in a sealable bag reminding her that it’s her for future use.
I had her hang my paddle back up and put the soap in the medicine cabinet.
I then hugged her and told her she handled her punishment well. I told her to continue cleaning up and make dinner but to remain nude. And that is what she is doing now. I think I will let her put her clothes on after dinner and cleanup.
Well, for the first spanking, I think it went well. I remained calm, was very firm and gave her a good spanking. She was pretty submissive and very embarrassed. I think nude corner time with soap made her feel humiliated, which I feel was deserved.
I can’t deny that it was challenging to really spank her, but I am determined to steer her right and improve my marriage.
Domestic Discipline Lifestyle For Consenting Adults

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I didn’t know where else to turn for this but I need to share because it totally surprised me, it’s not like him (or maybe it is?) and I just need to know if any of y’alls SO’s are like that and idk, I’m just torn because part of me really liked it and another part of me thinks it’s really weird. When I say he spanked me, I don’t mean he smacked my ass while having sex a few times, I mean he spanked me, like a punishment spanked. Hard.
We have been together just shy of a year but have known each other for 10 years. We have a crazy comfort level lol which is nice, but lately, there has been a side to him that I have never seen. He is more dominant and aggressive. Not in a mean way, idk how to really explain it. Anyway, we were in our room and I was putting away clothes and he came in and we were playing around and I got a slight attitude because I am just moody today and he told me to “drop my attitude” and me being me I was like “Or f*****g what?” And he said “If you don’t adjust it, I will do it for you, it’s unnecessary” now, mind you, he always says things like that and I always reply the same way which is I laugh and made a smart ass comment like “Yeah, okay, whatever you say” and he laughs and says “Yeah, I got nothing” and we move on, HOWEVER, this time he informed me that he was warning me and I just rolled my eyes and said “Yeah, I hear you, you should really work on your intimidation skills” and he was like “Oh yeah? You are about to regret that comment” and before I could get through another eye roll, he walked over to me, grabbed my arm, walked/pulled me over to our bed, with his other hand he yanked my pajama pants down, he sat down and told me to step closer to him, I didn’t, not even thinking his hand was still on my arm, and after 2 seconds he was like “Okay, we’ll do it my way then” and he yanked me towards him and then you guys, he yanked me down and bent me over his lap and he proceeded to spank me. Hard. And the whole time he asked me if I was going to lose my attitude. Did I like him having to spank me. Do I understand why he is. Blah blah blah.
My ass hurt so bad after and when he was done, he held me and laid me down and told me he loved me and rubbed my ass for a while after.
The whole experience was confusing and weird and embarrassing but it also turned me on in a way and a small part of me is hoping that he maintains this attitude and dominance because I kind of really liked him putting me over his knee and punishing me.
Im so confused, should I be seriously weirded out by it and even more so because i liked it? Do I say something to him?
So many feelings that I don’t know how to sort.

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