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The Best Sex Toys for Women Will Make Doing It More Fun For Everyone
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The best sex toys for women have come a long way—and made a lot of people come—from the humble beginnings of steam-powered vibrators and rubber dildos. It’s always been more a more wide-ranging category than the equivalent tools for men. (Though one look at the best sex toys for men shows that changing in recent years.) It can be difficult for beginners to know exactly what adult toys to buy for the first time, whether you're shopping for yourself or a partner.
For guys, it can also be difficult to confront your own unease about sex toys if, for example, you’re insecure about your sexual prowess, or worried that you’ll be upstaged by a vibrator. But it’s important to remember that a sex toy cannot cuddle with your partner, or whisper filthy compliments in her ear, or remember exactly how she likes to be touched—so you’re better off viewing sex toys as your allies, not your adversaries, in the pursuit of pleasure and self care.
Because the “ orgasm gap ” is still as wide as ever: straight men report climaxing during sex much more frequently and consistently than straight women, largely because most women’s main pleasure source–the clitoris–is all but ignored in typical heterosexual penis-in-vagina sex. But the good news is that sex can be so much more than inserting tab A into slot B, especially once you start incorporating tools other than the one between your legs. These days, having lube or a couples vibrator or even a prostate massager in your nightstand is just a sign you like feeling good—it's the kind of thing you can get on Amazon these days. Because sex is more fun for everyone when everyone is having fun, you know? So here are some of the best sex toys aimed at women and people with vulvas.
While there are about a zillion different kinds of sex toys out there, there are a few main categories to consider when shopping for sex toys for women.
Clitoral vibrators : The clit is the most important part of most women’s sexual anatomy when it comes to pleasure and orgasm, so it makes sense that many toys are aimed at pleasing it. You can use pretty much any vibrator on the clit, but if you’re looking for one specifically for this purpose, often a small toy (like a bullet vibrator) will work the best, especially if you want to use it during penetrative sex.
Pressure-wave toys : These are a newer category of clitorally focused toys, which use rhythmic pulses of air to stimulate the clit hands-free. It’s a sensation that sort of has to be felt to be understood; some people say it feels like great oral sex, while others say it’s more of a sucking or tapping sensation.
Insertable vibrators : Internal erogenous zones like the G-spot can enjoy vibration too! An insertable vibrator will have a longer shaft than a clitoral vibe, and may have an upward curve that aims for the G-spot. You can use an internal vibrator on its own, or pair it with a clitoral toy for explosive blended orgasms.
Wand vibrators : While originally designed and marketed as “body massagers,” these large, round-headed vibrators are also beloved by people who need (or want) a lot of power to get off. And, naturally, you can also use them for actual body massage if the mood strikes!
Dildos : For those who love penetration, there are a ton of different types of dildos to explore. Some are realistic (i.e. dick-like), while others are more abstract-looking; some are squishy, soft silicone, while others are made of glass, metal, ceramic or wood; some are designed to target specific zones, like the G-spot, while others are more about just providing a sensation of fullness.
Anal toys : Although cisgender women don’t have prostates, there are still a lot of nerve endings in and around the anus that make it a pleasurable area for many women. Butt plugs, anal beads, and anal vibrators are just some of the options available.
This toy has a fervent fanbase, which might explain its frequent appearance in porn—and it got even better when its maker introduced a cordless, rechargeable version in 2015. It may not be the most versatile or discreet massager in the world, but its impressive vibration settings more than make up for what it lacks in subtlety.
They say that good things come in small packages, and this vibe is a prime example. Its petite size makes its powerful vibrations all the more remarkable. It’s also waterproof so it’d be an ideal companion for bath-time masturbation or your next shower rendezvous.
Toys like the Womanizer use rhythmic pulses of air to create a clitoral sensation that’s somewhere between sucking, tapping, and vibration. This one has an “autopilot mode” that makes it feel even more like oral pleasure from a real live human (especially when well-lubed ).
This luxe metal plug is blissfully smooth, compatible with all lubricants, and heavy enough to be pleasantly noticeable but not so heavy as to be uncomfortable. Though it also comes in small and large versions, the medium one is an ideal size for most anal newbies.
Like any vibrator worth its salt, this one is powerful—but what really makes it stand out is its shape, which is so good that the toy can provide profound pleasure when rubbed against the G-spot whether the vibrations are on or off.
Dual-stimulation vibes—like the classic rabbit vibrator—are notoriously annoying to shop for, because the distance between the clit and the vaginal opening varies so much from person to person. This one bucks that trend with its super-flexible clitoral arm, which allows for much more variance in anatomy and also enables you to thrust the toy in and out without losing clitoral contact.
This gorgeous toy’s solid stainless steel construction makes it ideal for applying firm pressure to the G-spot. Just prepare to be in the splash zone if your partner is a squirter. (Waterproof poncho, anyone?)
Some guys’ insecurities make them feel envious or resentful of sex toys, especially realistic ones— but if you can work past those feelings, there’s a lot of freaky fun and mutual satisfaction to be found with a toy like this. Its dual-density material and gentle curve are terrific for G-spot stimulation, and can also hit your prostate if you decide to flip the script.
This cute little wearable vibe uses a magnet to stay affixed to its user’s underwear, so she can position it hands-free however she wants and it’ll stay put while she walks around (or writhes around, as the case may be).
This Bluetooth-controllable toy is a fave of many webcam performers, who let their fans titillate them from afar using Lovense’s well-designed app. With its rumbly powerful motor and lightning-fast responsiveness, it’s also the best option for long-distance couples who want to keep their sexual connection strong while they’re apart.
The fabled simultaneous orgasm may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but if it’s what you’re after, the We-Vibe Sync can help facilitate it. The body-safe silicone is more than just water-resistant—it’s fully waterproof for shower fun. It’s meant to be worn during sex, stimulating the wearer’s G-spot and clit simultaneously, while also feeling plenty good for the person penetrating her. With 10 vibration patterns, you can try a different vibration mode once a day for a week without getting bored.
Clitoral stimulation is the missing ingredient from standard P-in-V sex for many women, and the simplest solution is a slim, unobtrusive vibrator she can use on herself during the act. The Zumio focuses ultra-fast movement into a tiny tip for intensely pinpointed pleasure.
It may look like a medieval torture device, but this hilariously hideous vibrator actually feels like nothing else on the market—in a good way. It oscillates, rather than vibrating, so the sensations it creates feel deeper and it’s less likely to cause the temporary numbness some people report from vibration. It also comes with multiple attachments, so you can experiment with different shapes and textures.
Many vibrators under $20 are made of porous materials known to cause irritation or infections, like PVC or rubber. This one, on the other hand, is made of body-safe plastic, has different speeds, is waterproof, and can provide internal or external stimulation. When it comes to cheap vibes, this one is a diamond in the rough.
While this aluminum-bodied vibrator is too heavy and bulky to earn the distinction of best wand, it’s inarguably one of the strongest vibes on the market. Anyone who just can't get enough will love this one.
Slip this silicone attachment onto a standard-sized wand (like the Magic Wand Rechargeable or Doxy Die Cast, above), and you can instantly harness all those powerful vibrations into a shape that targets the G-spot. This attachment is also ideal for people who like clitoral vibration but prefer it to be more focused than the broad head of a typical wand.
Many G-spots crave fast, firm pressure that can get tiring to provide by hand. This innovative toy physically thrusts back and forth against that spot, freeing up your hands to do other things.
This toy is called the Eleven because it’s 11 inches of satisfying steel; that much metal comes at a price, but for fans of big and deep penetration, it’s well worth it. The double-ended design gives you more bang for your buck, so to speak— and maybe you’ll save on gym costs, because you can definitely skip “arm day” after ploughing somebody with this toy.
Okay, so it might be one of the only vaginal plugs on the market, but still. This toy is great for applying pleasurable pressure against the G-spot while you do other stuff, like kissing, external fingering, or oral sex.
These elegant clamps are adjustable, so they should suit nervous newbies and seasoned sadomasochists alike. Tug on the chain between them whenever you think the wearer needs a twinge of sexy pain.
Whether pegging is a frequent part of your sex life or just an item on your bucket list, this harness is a fantastic choice. It’s comfortable, adjustable, fits a wide range of dildo sizes, and features a pocket that holds a small vibrator for clitoral stimulation for full sensory overload.
When you've never used a vibrator before, often the best introduction is one that's small enough to fit into the palm of your hand and to slip between bodies unobtrusively during sex. This one is coated in soft and squishy silicone for increased comfort, and has low-frequency vibrations engineered to give you more intense orgasms.
One end of this toy is a pressure-wave clit stimulator, and the other vibrates, so if you want a toy that can be used in different ways to suit your mood, this is a terrific option. Its ergonomic design makes it easy to hold onto during sex, and you can even use it with a long-distance partner via Satisfyer's app. You really can have it all!
This little vibe is designed to fit between your fingers so effortlessly that it almost feels like an extension of your hand. When sex is feeling good but you need a little something extra to push you over the edge, it's easy and fast to grab this toy and add it into the action.
Good-quality dildos can get pricey, but this one was specifically engineered to keep production costs low, so you can still get dicked down by a dildo even if you're on a budget. The two little bumps at the head can rub against your G-spot on every stroke, and the cheery lemon-yellow color is unique and adorable.
This vibrator is made to look like a tube of lipstick, so TSA agents and nosy houseguests probably won't bat an eye over it. The angled tip gives you a lot of options for how to direct this toy's powerful vibrations—you can use the whole flat end of the toy for broader stimulation, or press just the very tip against your clit for a more pinpointed feel.
The "mouth" of this toy uses both pressure-wave technology and vibration to replicate the feeling of a partner's lips and tongue on your clit. It's also got a travel lock function and comes with a travel cover, so toss it in your suitcase if you want to enjoy some robotic oral on your next getaway.
Glass is a surprisingly wonderful material for dildos: its firmness can feel great on the G-spot, it's easy to clean, you can use any kind of lube you want with it, and it's also well-suited for temperature play. This glass dildo is double-ended; one side is perfect for focused G-spot stimulation, while the other is smooth and straight.
Clit pumps are especially good for people who struggle with arousal, because they bring blood flow to the area, increasing excitement and sensitivity, but their positive effects can be enjoyed by anyone with a clit. Just make sure to use lube and start slow and gentle. To up the ante, you can hold a vibrator against the pump, and the vibrations will transmit through the whole area.
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Malia Griggs is a writer, editor, and social storyteller who joined SELF's commerce team in 2020. Previously, she worked at The Daily Beast , Comedy Central, and Cosmopolitan. In addition to shopping, she has written about mental health, burnout, epilepsy, race, and relationships.
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It’s high time we talk about the best sex toys for men. Here at SELF, we’ve covered sex toys for women and couples in-depth, but there’s a whole world of sex toys specifically designed for male bodies—and they’re well worth the wading (which, handily, we’ve done for you).
When it comes to sex toys, experts say they see a lot of hesitation from men (especially in heterosexual relationships) related to viewing sex toys as competition instead of tools. “Sex toys are made for our pleasure, and there is no shame in trying them out, as a man or as a person with a penis,” says sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd (also known as The Millennial Sexpert ).
The right sex toys can heighten and increase pleasure in solo or partnered play for all people, and at the end of the day, they’re meant to be fun. Megan Fleming , PhD, a New York City–based sex and relationship expert, notes that the bedroom is one of the rare spaces that adults can actually play in their everyday lives, and expanding your toy “toolbox” is crucial: “I want people’s sex lives to be like a diner menu, where you have lots of appetizers, main dishes, and desserts, so you’re always feeling like, ‘What kind of play do we want today?’”
Below, we spoke to a range of sex experts to answer the big questions about the best sex toys for men looking to take masturbation or play to the next level, how to shop for these toys, and—crucially—what their recommendations are for the best ones.
If you’re by yourself and want to experience sensations that are different than your good-old-hand stimulation, masturbation sleeves (especially power strokers) offer enjoyable, hands-free stimulation, as do non-vibrating cock rings. If you’re trying to adjust to the sensation of anal penetration, dildos and butt plugs are good choices for working out your comfort levels with self-stimulation.
Prostate massagers can also be used alone if you’ve not explored your prostrate, but Frye-Nekrasova says they also work well with partners, as do vibrating cock rings and butt plugs.
There are a few factors to think about when deciding what sex toy to give a go, starting with whether you’re shopping for a toy to use solo or with a partner, as some toys work better alone and others with a partner. And some sex toys are remote-controlled , an excellent feature for anyone in a long-distance relationship .
Next, consider what type of sensation you’re after (for instance: warming, sucking, internal). Then take a closer look at the sex toy’s various speeds, intensities, vibration patterns, shapes, and materials it’s made out of (generally you’ll encounter silicone, glass, and stainless steel). Most sex toys are waterproof , but it’s something to look out for in case you plan to play in the shower or a pool.
“Start with a less expensive model,” Fleming advises beginners. “Sometimes trying a more affordable model gives you a sense of what a sensation is like and whether you like it.” Of course, if you already know what feeling you like and you need a recommendation for the best sex toy that aligns with that, we’ve got you too.
Whip out that new toy when you’re actually turned on (and not as a way to turn yourself on). “Think of it as foreplay,” Fleming says. “If you want to build up reception to a new toy, start off when you’re already highly aroused. The research is clear that people tend to be more open and receptive when already aroused.”
And if you don’t like the sensation of a new toy the very first time you use it, don’t give up on it just yet. “The first time we try anything, we’re doing what we
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