Small Cock Joi
⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Small Cock Joi
Light
Dark
Auto
Slow Burn: Roe v. Wade
Abortion
Cryptocurrency
Jan. 6
Adoption
Stewart Butler
SCOTUS
The Boys
Share Your Story
Light
Dark
Auto
Content Locked
for Slate Plus members
About
About Us
Work With Us
Contact
Pitch Guidelines
Send Us Tips
Corrections
Commenting
Reprints
Subscriptions
Subscribe
Sign In
Account
Subscription FAQs
Podcast FAQs
Newsletters
Customer Support
Advertising
Site Advertising
Podcast Advertising
AdChoices
Cookie Preferences
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
Every week, the crew responds to a bonus question in chat form.
I’m a married man in my 40s, and I have a small penis. Not on the line, “maybe”—just small. I struggled most of my life with how it affected how I interacted with others. I am aware it has had too much of an influence on who I am. I have taken the issue head on recently and discussed it with a psychiatrist. She did not directly point me in the direction of “small penis humiliation,” but said it helped other people embracing the issue. After exploring it, I found I am very fond of it. It is completely detached from my personality in normal life, which may be part of the point. I normally loathe attention and humiliation. I have addressed it with my wife, and she says knowing the pain the penis has caused me, she has trouble picturing humiliating me, which is understandable. But now I worry that my wife’s lack of interest in it is causing it to bleed into my everyday life with friends and family. I have no understanding of it and it is difficult for me to find a steady place for it. The rush that comes with tapping into this part of me scares me. How do you reconcile a part of your sexuality you have no understanding of and lack control of?
Stoya : So the writer says it is completely detached from his personality in normal life, and also that he worries that his wife’s lack of interest in it is causing it to bleed into his everyday life with friends and family. I think that would be of interest to his therapist. And I’m curious what he means by “bleeding into everyday life.” Is he telling friends and family members about his genital dimensions? Is he finding himself feeling small and laughable in the middle of the workplace?
Rich : Or is it just generally causing distraction?
Stoya : If that’s the case, meditation or some cognitive behavioral techniques seem like a probable solution.
Rich : I’m also a little unclear as to what extent small-penis humiliation has been “explored” if our writer’s wife is unwilling to partake—whether he’s actually taken part in some sort of play with someone else, or if he’s just explored it philosophically.
Stoya : I was imagining maybe looking at small penis humiliation videos.
Rich : That would make sense. I think reconciling his general distaste for humiliation and his desire for it here just requires a suspension of logic. Sometimes what turns us on doesn’t make sense! And he can’t do anything about his small penis, not really, but he can find power in the way he regards it during sex.
Stoya : I’m not sure any of us really understand the why s of our sexuality. When we’re talking about a specific that’s usually seen as a fetish, it can feel othering.
Rich : The best we can do is draw associations.
Stoya : But I’m not sure even the most vanilla person could articulate what is compelling about breasts or buttocks.
Stoya : That inability to pin down in language can be one of the beautiful aspects of sexuality. To go beyond words.
Rich : For me, it is a haven. I spend my days ensconced in words; it’s nice to leave that realm for a bit. I think our writer could really just lay this out to his wife: “Look, I know it might not make sense to you—I’m not sure that it does to me—but I think this sort of play would help me process something that has given me a considerable amount of shame, and turn it into a positive.” She may still turn him down—and that’s her right—but maybe appealing to her compassion, which she already is evincing, could do the trick.
Stoya : And if the wife passes, he might gently inquire as to whether she’d take issue with him video-chatting with a professional.
Rich : Yes, this very specific play doesn’t even need to involve any sort of sex, in the conventional, penetrative sense.
Stoya : I welcome online clients who are exploring and communicative. And I’ve seen enough of them that I imagine many digital experience providers know how to help someone explore their desires gradually.
Rich : At the very least, I would love our writer to take away from us that he doesn’t need to feel shame for wanting something that might ameliorate shame. No sense in piling on.
Stoya : He’s got a small penis, and that’s OK. He likes to hear humiliation about it, and that’s OK. It makes him feel better about his body, and that’s wonderful.
I’m a married woman. I had a three-month affair with an old boyfriend, “Jim,” that ended abruptly two weeks ago when I got an email from a friend saying “Check this out!” with a link to CNN. I clicked and a page with a video player showing a picture of the guest bedroom in my house opened. (I later noticed my friend’s email name had an 8 changed to a 3, and the CNN link was fake too.) I clicked play, and a message popped up: “I know you’re watching.” I had a full-blown panic attack as I watched a 53-minute high-resolution, clear-sound video featuring Jim and me having sex. No one besides “Will,” my husband, could have been in the house. There’s an alarm system. He’s also a computer engineer. He’d know exactly how to do all of this. I gave Jim the link. He’s married and panicked too.
Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company.
All contents © 2022 The Slate Group LLC. All rights reserved.
Slate and our partners use cookies and related technology to deliver relevant advertising on our site, in emails and across the Internet. We and our partners also use these technologies to personalize content and perform site analytics. For more information, see our terms and privacy policy. Privacy Policy
What Happened When I Told My Man He Had A Small Penis
The content you see here is paid for by the advertiser or content provider whose link you click on, and is recommended to you by Revcontent. As the leading platform for native advertising and content recommendation, Revcontent uses interest based targeting to select content that we think will be of particular interest to you. We encourage you to view your opt out options in Revcontent's Privacy Policy
Want your content to appear on sites like this? Increase Your Engagement Now!
Want to report this publisher's content as misinformation? Submit a Report
By amanda younger — Written on May 16, 2017
I told him he had a small penis ... Well, if you're looking for accuracy, I actually told him that his junk probably couldn't hit my sexual "spot" — which isn't much better, I suppose.
For the record, the equipment on my month-long friend-with-benefits was a perfectly acceptable size and shape . And yes, I knew exactly what I was doing when I blurted out my verbal castration. It probably wasn't my brightest moment with the opposite sex .
But this Matt Damon -esque hottie, who was by far the most attractive guy I'd had sex with thus far, had pissed me off so royally that the only suitable comeback was to attack his nether region. I knew that insulting his little soldier would be the ultimate ego-crusher for a guy who had boasted about his man-whorish past. Cut me some slack; I was angry.
My outburst hammered the final nail in our little hookup's coffin, as my boy was completely distraught by the idea that his penis possibly wasn't the massive instrument of sexual pleasure he had imagined. He would later tell me that on top of frantically Googling and Wiki-ing average member sizes, he carried the uncertainty of his manhood into his next relationship (and it certainly didn't help that his next girlfriend made a small penis quip , too!).
But how could the most alpha dog, self-assured, cocky male be completely emasculated by any hint that his junk wasn't up to snuff? Why are men so sensitive about penis size?
Dr. Russell Eisenman, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Pan American ( who conducted a study showing that women were more satisfied by penis width than length) believes that it has a lot to do with symbolism.
"Cultures value the penis as a symbol of maleness , strength, and potency, so to be insulted about one's penis is probably seen as a threat to all of these things," he said. And it's not only women who judge. " Men may value it and its size more so than females [do]."
There are certainly plenty of pop culture moments reinforcing dong symbolism.
From Kate Hudson dubbing Matthew McConaug-hottie 's member "Princess Sofia" in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days to John Mayer comparing his one-eyed snake to a white supremacist, the penis and its size are constantly pushed into our consciousness. Kate Gosselin embodied every man's worst penis nightmare when she likened Jon Gosselin's member to that of a 9-year-old boy , and tweeted pictures of his teeny-weeny wang (compared to her vitriol, my penile faux pas seems not so bad).
The problem is no doubt made worse by the fact that the male anatomy isn't nearly as quantified as the female, and many don't accurately know how long their penis is or how it relates to other men's.
According to the Kinsey Institute (and Wikipedia ), the average erect schlong is between five and six inches. This opens the door both to mystique and doubt, something women don't have to deal with since people have dissected, calculated and commercialized their sizes (there's no Victoria's Secret for jock straps).
In an article on penis size , columnist Jack Murnighan admits that he's "gone through the gamut of perceptions" regarding his endowment.
"[But] as the apparatus itself never really changed, these opinions obviously have more to do with my sense of self and my relationship to my own sexuality than anything you could measure in inches."
He concludes, then, that the penis for a man is "a consolidation of his sexuality as a whole. No wonder we worry."
Another man I spoke to, whose ex-girlfriend had made a joke about his penis while they were still dating , said that "despite her insisting that it was 100 percent meant as a joke and not true, it still struck a chord. I think most guys are a little self-conscious about it, so even a tiny jab can open up a big area of self-doubt."
Apparently, it's so bad that men are less likely to buy condoms in their actual size if they fall on the lower end of the endowment spectrum. This has prompted manufacturers to consider labeling condoms size "large" and up — might I suggest "grande" for small, like at Starbucks? — so men aren't bashful about buying the smaller sizes .
All I can say personally is that my former beau and I eventually became good friends, and he told me that my comment seriously screwed him up. I assured him that his disco-stick was perfectly fine, but he still had doubts.
I felt bad. I hadn't meant to crush his ego, just deflate it a little. In the future, will I strike below the belt? Probably not, now that I know they're more self-conscious than we think.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.
Light
Dark
Auto
Slow Burn: Roe v. Wade
Abortion
Cryptocurrency
Jan. 6
Adoption
Stewart Butler
SCOTUS
The Boys
Share Your Story
Light
Dark
Auto
Content Locked
for Slate Plus members
There are plenty of women who can easily tolerate, or even enjoy, what he’s asking for.
About
About Us
Work With Us
Contact
Pitch Guidelines
Send Us Tips
Corrections
Commenting
Reprints
Subscriptions
Subscribe
Sign In
Account
Subscription FAQs
Podcast FAQs
Newsletters
Customer Support
Advertising
Site Advertising
Podcast Advertising
AdChoices
Cookie Preferences
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Send your questions for Stoya and Rich to howtodoit@slate.com .
Every Thursday night, the crew will answer one bonus question in chat form. This week, a surprising request.
I am a woman seeing a new man, and we waited a few dates to sleep together, mostly because he didn’t try. I didn’t think much of it, but when we did have sex, he was sheepish to take off his underwear, and yep, it turns out he has a small penis. This is OK for me—I do prefer some size, but he’s eager and good at other things, so I am not too worried about it. (I’m pretty sure he’s below average, if you’re wondering what I mean by “small”; I’d say 4 inches or fewer.)
He eventually opened up and confirmed the reason he waited to initiate sex is that he wanted to get to know me a little bit so I wouldn’t reject him outright. I was a little hurt by this, but I understand he’s had bad experiences. However , he also told me that his past experiences with women, especially as a teenager, have given him a fetish to be ridiculed for his small penis. I guess it happened enough that it turns him on. Basically, he was embarrassed to tell me he likes to be embarrassed because of his junk. This just feels wrong to me. I don’t want to “kink shame,” or whatever, but I also do not think it’s right for me to further pathologize a normal dick variation, even if he wants me to. I also feel like he should get therapy for this. What do you think?
Stoya : A long, long time ago, in a dark dungeon on the third or so floor of an office building, I was called in to help with a similar situation. The man had an actual micropenis, and he wanted a large number of women to giggle at and taunt him.
Rich : “We’re gonna need backup … ”
Stoya : Basically. So I want this woman to understand that her new man is way less complicated than he could be. He doesn’t require a bevy of cackling. A line of laughing ladies.
Stoya : … their nipples, which are larger than his dick. Anyway, therapy is an excessive request here, and if she’s not into it, she should move on.
Rich : I think that’s exactly right. This is garden-variety erotic humiliation . And honestly, how would a therapist help him cope with this diminutive dick better than he already is? He’s eroticized it. Life gave him a small dick and he made lemonade. Hopefully he didn’t use the dick to stir it, but whatever it takes! He’s doing fine!
Stoya : And there are plenty of women who can easily tolerate, or even enjoy, what he’s asking for.
Rich : The one thing I don’t love about this kind of kink is the slight emotional imposition. What if my reaction to your small penis isn’t to laugh or mock? I get it, it’s play, and to want to participate, you would enjoy such imposition, etc., but from my remove, my take is that I just strongly dislike being told how to feel. For free, at least.
Stoya : What is your reaction to a small penis?
Rich : I don’t flinch. I would never want anyone to feel bad (unless he wanted to feel bad) about judgment for something entirely out of his control. And while I’d rather suck something that requires effort to completely fill my mouth/throat, if a dick is super hard, it’s going to be hot to me regardless. If it’s smallish/softish that starts to kind of chip away at my arousal. But I’m a soldier, and I typically bypass most size-related issues without incident. What about you?
Stoya : The only one I can think of wasn’t even small, he was just convinced it was. ~5 inches isn’t small, correct?
Stoya : The actually-just-small-end-of-average guy was fixated in a way that involved his ethnicity, which was uncomfortable for me.
Rich : Oh yeah, race play is a whole other area that I don’t broach. I wouldn’t even know what to do? Kink stuff all feels advanced to my meat-and-potatoes sex-having ass. I always feel like I don’t know what to say and then I don’t want to be told what to say. “Can we just … not talk?” I prefer to have my body do the talking.
Stoya : Ha. Yes. I know that feeling. So, for moving on, our writer might want to think ahead of time about what she’ll say.
Rich : It’s super OK to not be into something and to say it as plainly as that: “Sorry. Not for me.”
Stoya : If she wants to be gentle, she might express a hope that he finds the trash-talking size queen of his dreams.
Rich : Yeah, I mean, she doesn’t want him to pathologize this further, but she’ll have to be careful not to fall into the same trap. What if what he really wants is to be humiliated for wanting to be humiliated for having a small penis? What if he wasn’t embarrassed to tell her at all, that it was all part of some bid for exponential humiliation?
Stoya : Improbably meta. If that were the case, I’d be so entertained.
Rich : I know—submission is a delicate dance. Sub too hard, and you’re dom. Sometimes you gotta keep turning the screw to maintain the sensation.
Stoya : Mr. Meat and Potatoes. So maybe he gets off on humiliation in general? Not specifically on being humiliated in this particular way?
Rich : Yeah, I mean, I think you’re right that it’s improbable that he’d take it to another level. But you never know, and it could make real talk more complicated than expected.
Stoya : This is true: I wonder if that’d be easier for our writer to process.
Rich : In any case, I think it would ultimately be foolish to attempt to change him—this is something that has been cooking for so long. His small-penis thing is bigger than her. And it’s totally harmless. Let him have his anguished fun.
I live in an apartment with stereotypical “thin walls” and w
Boobs44k
Judge Milian Tits
Busty Classmate