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A finger in the bum can make you cum, a finger in the bum is so much fun.
If you've clicked on this article you're either curious about anal fingering, a fan of butt play or a huge Dr. Seuss fan, and in that case I'm sorry.
Let's be real, over the past few years, ass play has become a pretty popular item on the menu. But if you're not keen on doing anal, or eating someone out - using a finger can be a great way to ease into it.
Also for guys or people with prostates it can apparently be one of the best orgasms of your life, all thanks to a lil' nugget of gold called the prostate aka p-spot.
Who knew digging for treasure could open a world of pleasure?
You know we love an investigation here at The Hook Up so, we asked you on our Instagram if you liked a finger in the bum during sex, and 46% of you said you loved it. We also asked cis straight men specifically if they were into it and over half of you said yes. BUT nearly 60% of you said you were too embarrassed to ask for it.
Here's what some of you dm'd us saying:
Whether someone asked you to do it, or you're keen to have someone do it to you, here's everything you need to know about anal fingering.
Most people who dm'd us saying they used their fingers to dabble in a bit of ass play, gave glowing reviews. Some even went as far to say "best orgasm of my life." So why does it feel so good? According to Men's Sex Coach Cam Fraser, it's because we have a whole bunch of nerve endings in and around that area.
"This might be a little cringey to hear, but it's the kind of the same reason why when you need to do a poo and you do a poo, it feels relatively good.
Because the receptors in there respond to pressure and temperature and friction and stretching as well. So we get a whole bunch of different types of sensation of different types of pleasure from anal play."
Cam reckons one of the other reasons why people really like butt play during sex is because it can feel a bit naughty .
"The taboo of having something penetrate you in your anus is quite psychologically stimulating and psychologically pleasurable as well."
For guys or people with prostates, using a finger for ass play can apparently lead to a whole body orgasm - because of the way you're stimulating the prostate.
If you have no idea what a prostate is, or you've only heard it referenced with cancer and not pleasure, GP Dr Michael Mrozinski (aka Dr_Michael_Says on TikTok) says it's a gland the size of a ping pong ball which sits right underneath a man's bladder.
"The function of the prostate is to produce some fluid to help give sperm the energy to go all the way into the final destination. But it also needs to contract to be able to propel the sperm all the way up."
"It's really an important part in sexual function because without that contraction of the muscle then the sperm wouldn't get anywhere near where it's needed."
And Cam says when you stimulate the prostate, you can have an orgasm separate from what you would have through penis ejaculation.
"The beauty of a prostate orgasm is that it doesn't involve an ejaculation because of the way the nervous system is wired."
"And you won't enter into a refractory period after ejaculation which is that period of time after you've cum that you kind of feel satiated and you can't get an erection and you don't really feel aroused and he can't come again."
So what does it feel like? Zac from Naarm, Melbourne says it feels amazing...
"I think it's definitely more intense. Like a full body experience, rather than an isolated orgasm experience [through the penis]."
"It can be pretty overwhelming, the first couple of times when you're just like not really sure what's going on and it's just so full on. But yeah, really incredible."
We do a lot and say a lot of stuff during sex you'd probably never do or say outside the bedroom. And sticking your fingers into a place where shit comes out is one of them. Cam reckons this is one of the reasons why people might feel embarrassed about it.
"Some people are worried it might be a little bit gross and you might get some poop on their finger, or it might just be a little bit awkward."
(And there's definitely ways to stop that from happening - we'll get into that soon).
"Another reason why people might be embarrassed is because they're worried that it's going to hurt them that there's gonna be some pain and some discomfort."
For cis het men there's also the ~ no homo vibe ~ internalised homophobia.
"So there's this fear of 'what will my partner think about me?' 'What does this mean about my own sexuality?' "
"But I can tell you this right now, the sex act that you do doesn't determine your orientation."
And then there's the classic universal fear that comes with sex in general: asking for what you want.
"We can think, 'is it selfish for me to ask this for my partner to stimulate me in this way?' 'Is it selfish to kind of put my pleasure first?' "
Cam recommends a silicone based lube "because it is thicker, and it won't dry out like a water based lube so you won't have to keep reapplying it, it'll last longer."
If you don't want to have a shitty experience, make sure you're clean down there.
"If you're trying to mitigate poo, you're going to want to make sure you're having a shower and cleaning beforehand."
"If you're worried about hygiene, you can unroll a condom and put it on your finger or pop it on a toy. And trim your nails as well."
If you've never done it before, Cam recommends a great place to start is on yourself.
"You can start exploring your glutes and your butt cheeks and maybe just the the rim of the anus before even doing any penetration. So just start to familiarise yourself with how that feels physically in your body as well."
Like Cam said before, people find it really hard to ask for what they want when it comes to sex, so if you don't know how to bring it up with a partner, Cam recomends talking about it outside of the bedroom first.
"Go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee and have a conversation with each other in like a non-sexual environment or in a non-intimidating environment."
It normalises conversations about sex, in a less vulnerable setting. But if you still find it hard to talk about you can even send them this article and just go 'thoughts?'
Remember consent is the most important thing, you can't just stick your finger in someone's ass during sex without asking first. And for the person either giving or receiving, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You can say no!
But if you're both big yes's here's how to get into it. Firstly Cam says for this to feel good you have to be completely relaxed, so start off slow.
"So really slowing the breathing down. Making sure that if you're the receptive partner you're in a comfortable position, like a really easy position for being penetrated, is lying on your side."
"The next thing is start small, you don't have to go straight to sticking your whole fist in there or doing something really massive. You can start with just playing around with the rim and communicating with your partner as you're doing this."
"Listening to their verbal feedback and also listening to their body as well as the person who's receiving relaxes, you'll notice the sphincter will open a little bit more."
Also don't feel like that's the only thing you have to be doing.
"It can be helpful if this is their first time to incorporate genital stimulation, so stimulating their penis or vulva with either your other hand or with your mouth or with a toy."
If you're with someone who has a prostate, and have no idea what you're looking for - Cam says it's about an inch and a half in - towards the belly button.
"You can try just gently stroking it with one finger in that very classic come hither motion, you can try circling with your fingers drawing little circles around it.
And then you can also try gently pressing the prostate and holding your finger down, and then like vibrating your finger back and forth, kind of like shaking it like a little vibrator."
Also just ask your partner what feels good for them.
Let's be honest, we've got long af sex lives to live, so why not spice things up a little and try something new.
And if you've been holding back on a lil' finger up the ass, because you think it's 'gay' and gross, well Hook Up listener Cameron has a message for you:
I seriously think people who don't try it for the sake of it are missing out. You might not like it but how do you know for sure?
For all things sex and relationships subscribe to The Hook Up podcast . Listen on the triple j app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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A lot of kids, curious about the world around them, find themselves wondering about the body. Since sexuality is taboo when you're a kid, lot of us missed on learning from experience exploring the body -- and that's where a new series of videos comes in.
YouTube channel Bria and Chrissy has created a series that explores that concept. Not every person has seen every part on every body, especially if a their sexuality precludes them from seeing certain folks naked.
That's why when Bria and Chrissy created " Lesbians Touch a Penis for the First Time ," it struck a chord and went viral, garnering over 28 million views and kicking off conversations about peoples' bodies, sexuality, and how the two intersect.
In their new video, " Straight Women Touch Another Vagina For The First Time ," volunteer Stevie welcomes three cis, straight women to touch a vagina that isn't their own, and like all the other videos in the series, it's a eye-opening experience.
"I grew up Catholic, so I feel like there is a lot of guilt associated with exploring your own body," one of the volunteers states, echoing the idea that because the world sexualizes the body in all situations, touching yourself -- and especially other people -- is always considered sexual.
As for the volunteers, one is markedly nervous about the upcoming experience, but all three are totally open and honest about what they're about to do. One remarks, "All of my girlfriends, including myself as well, do this," as she grabs Stevie's breast, making a good point about what is socially acceptable touching between some people.
All in all, the experience proved valuable, highlighting that not every touch is sexually charged. "I think it's very disrespectful and rude and offensive to sexualize everything that woman does," the volunteer continues. "I'm not an object, I'm a human being and interactions with other people, and they don't have to be sexualized."
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We love movies. We love lesbians . We REALLY love lesbian-themed movies featuring girl-on-girl love and/or action.
From gay cheerleaders in rom-coms to David Lynch’s neo-noir mystery and The Wachowskis crime thriller, here are some of our favourite movies with lesbian characters .
Keep scrolling for Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie, Cate Blanchett, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Naomi Watts, Lena Headey, Gina Gershon and many, many more in some superb sapphic roles.
This 1994 psychological drama directed by Lord of the Rings’ Peter Jackson is based on the notorious 1954 Parker–Hulme murder case in Christchurch, New Zealand.
Melanie Lynskey and Kate Winslet star as Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme respectively, two teenage girls who murder Pauline’s mother, who – alongside Juliet’s parents – has been trying to separate the pair.
Starring Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman, this 2002 from Stephen Daldry is based on Michael Cunningham’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same name.
The Hours follows Clarissa Vaughan (Streep) in New York in 2001, Laura Brown (Moore) in 1950s Los Angeles, and Virginia Woolf (Kidman) in 1920s England. All three women’s lives and loves are connected via Woolf’s novel Mrs Dalloway.
David Lynch (Twin Peaks) is behind 2001 neo-noir mystery Mulholland Drive, which stars Naomi Watts and Laura Harring as Betty and Rita.
The plot follows the two strangers as they grow closer, eventually sleeping together in a passionate encounter.
Angelina Jolie stars in this 1998 biographical film as Gia Carangi, one of America’s first supermodels.
Directed by Michael Cristofer, it also stars Faye Dunaway as Wilhelmina Cooper, Gia’s agent, and Elizabeth Mitchell as Linda, Gia’s lover.
When Wilhelmina dies, Gia turns to cocaine, prompting Linda to give her an ultimatum. Gia chooses the drugs, before turning to heroin, eventually contracting HIV which progresses to AIDS.
Jamie Babbit’s 1999 romantic comedy stars Natasha Lyonne ( Orange is the New Black ) as Megan Bloomfield, a high school cheerleader who gets sent to therapy camp True Directions to cure her lesbianism.
Fortunately, she ends up getting it on with fellow camper Graham (Clea DuVall) because, as we all know, gayness needs no cure.
Starring Piper Perabo and Game of Thrones’ Lena Headey (*phwoar*), Imagine Me & You (2005) follows Rachel (Perabo) and Luce (Headey), who meet on Rachel’s wedding day.
Rachel befriends Luce, her wedding florist, and attempts to set up with her husband’s friend Cooper – before finding out that Luce is a lesbian.
She begins to question her own sexuality – who wouldn’t with Lena Headey hanging around – as she grows close to Luce and is forced to make a choice.
This 2010 Spanish film, directed by Julio Medem, follows the emotional and sexual relationship between two women (Alba and Natasha) over the course of one night in a hotel in, you guessed it, Rome.
Starring Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, this 2008 romance film from Shamim Sarif follows a Middle Eastern woman named Tala and her British Indian lover Leyla.
Tala, who lives in London, is preparing to get married, but she falls in love with Leyla and the pair begin an affair.
This 2001 film was written and co-produced by the film’s stars Jennifer Westfeldt and Heather Juergensen.
It follows Jessica Stein, who is searching for the perfect man, but instead falls in love with a woman, and sees her struggling to come out of the closet to her family.
Loving Annabelle (2006) follows Annabelle, a student at a Catholic boarding school who falls in love with her teacher, Simone – and it’s not unrequited. Directed by Katherine Brooks, this romantic drama stars Erin Kelly and Diane Gaidry.
Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly star in this 1996 neo-noir crime thriller film as Corky and Violet, respectively.
Written and directed by The Wachowskis, Bound follows Violet, who is dating a mafioso man called Caesar, and Corky, a convicted criminal-turned-plumber.
Celebs you didn’t know have an LGBT sibling
The two women begin having an affair, before coming up with a scheme to steal $2 million of mafia money.
This 2015 film from Todd Haynes is based on the 1952 novel The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith.
It stars Cate Blanchett (*swoon*), Rooney Mara and Sarah Paulson and tells the story of a forbidden affair between an aspiring female photographer and an older woman going through a difficult divorce in 1950s New York.
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