Sex Options
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Sex Options
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
Rachel Varina
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona ) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries).
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There is no one-size-fits-all way to have good sex, full stop. Considering the number of sex positions , sex toys , types of sex , and TV sex scenes out there to provide horny inspo, there's always something new and unique to try . So whether you're single or coupled up, one of the very first sex-related tasks you'll want to tackle is the creation of your very own sex bucket list.
Just like a normal bucket list, a sex bucket list is full of all the ~sexy~ things you want to try in your life. (I know, it's a lot.) You can fill your list up with whatever you want and tailor it to your own individual fantasies , and add new ideas as you think of them and keep an open mind as you discover new turn-ons.
What’s really great about a sex bucket list is that it's not at all set in stone. Since sexual preferences ebb and flow throughout our lives, chances are your desires might change and shift as you grow. Not only is that totally normal—but it’s actually pretty exciting! Weren’t into the idea of having a threesome but now find it low-key arousing? Add it! Loved the idea of having sex in public but now feel like you’re more of a sex-in-bed kind of person? Remove it! Have fun fantasizing about which ideas make you feel some kind of way, and revise your list as much—or as little—as you’d like.
As a jumping-off point, consider adding some (or all!) these 110 suggestions to your very own sex bucket list. 10/10 recommend trying them all…
Kinks are basically anything that arouses you, and there are tonnns of different ones out there. Maybe you like the feeling of latex against your skin? Or getting spanked? Or wearing heels in bed? Try some different kinky moves and ideas out.
Whether you strip down and get frisky or just soak up the, ahem, scenery, hitting up a nude beach is an experience you have to have at least once in your life (or more, if you enjoy it).
It's sexy! It's spooky! It's a fun reminder that life is short and orgasms are great! Just make sure to go when it's dark and remember, public sex *is* illegal, so do with that what you will.
It's like a hand job but done with your feet. FWIW: It's best to give your piggies a wash before bestowing your partner with a foot job .
These boots aren't just made for walking, bb. You'd be surprised at all that can be accomplished when you incorporate both hands and feet into the lurve making.
OK, if foot jobs sound too extreme, how about sensual foot massages? The feet have so many nerve endings, and some people actually orgasm from foot rubs alone, which means pedicures are about to become a lot more fun.
Ready to make a sex tape? Be sure to turn off your sharing, get enthusiastic consent from your partner (and decide what you'll do with the tape after), and start brainstorming names for your future reality show.
If you don't have a partner or don't feel like recording your coupled-up sex, how about some solo clips? Watching yourself masturbate is not only v hot, but you might also pick up a tip or two from yourself, which is like masturbation inception in all the best ways.
It's pretty much the most cliché thing you can do, but you gotta have sex on a pool table at least once to then never do it again.
Whether it's a cruise, a yacht, a sailboat, or a canoe, hook up on a boat to experience the ~motion of the ocean.~ Just be careful if you're prone to seasickness.
Virtual sex parties are a great way to dip your toes into the idea of swinging and/or getting it on in public, and the best part is you don't even have to leave your couch or put on pants to attend.
If porn isn't your thing or you're too lazy to go searching for what you like, challenge yourself to get off using only Netflix shows . You'd be surprised what a few select scenes of The Vampire Diaries can do for your arousal.
After watching some steamy scenes, try to recreate one. If you need some inspo, try some sex moves from Sex/Life or those steamy Bridgerton moments for some TV-worthy sexy times.
Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, strawberries à la Serena van der Woodsen —there are a whole lotta foods you can incorporate during sex that'll not only turn things up but also ward off any hangry feels that might negatively impact the horny ones.
It turns out, there are more aphrodisiacs out there than just oysters. Have a feast to discover what foods get you going.
It's an on-screen classic for good reason. Whether you go at it with a partner or solo, you gotta find out firsthand why washing machine sex is so majorly hyped. Also, you get to multitask doing your laundry and getting off, which sounds like a pretty successful afternoon if you ask me.
A yoni massage is basically a vagina massage that involves a mix of fingering, touching, and deep-breathing exercises to achieve all-over bliss and maybe a few orgasms too.
Try bondage, suggests Gabi Levy, a sexpert who also runs the erotic story platform Shag Story . There’s nothing like being tied up, she adds. Obvi, talk it over with your partner first, but if you’re both on board, go forth and bond (sorry).
They’re everywhere now, so it’s worth a try. Levy says this can help you relax while you get it on, and be useful for getting out of your own head if that tends to be an issue for you during sex.
This way, everyone wins, Levy says. There’s truly no such thing as losing with strip poker. If you don’t know how to play, don’t worry—sub out poker for any other game. It’s just the “strip” part that makes it exciting anyway, ya feel?
They exist, says Levy—and here are some tips on how to have a nipple-induced orgasm . We gotchu.
The sex will be worth the ripped T-shirt, explains Levy. Just make sure it’s an item of clothing you won’t be too bummed to part with.
If you’ve got metal and glass toys, you can run them under cold water for added sensation. If you don’t, you can always play with ice, as Levy suggests. Run an ice cube over your partner’s erogenous zones and then have them do the same to you. You can blow on the skin too for extra oomph.
Get some special wax-play specific candles (yes, the distinction is important!), and start dripping the warm wax on your partner and vice-versa. It might be a little hot (it's not supposed to burn you, thoughh but that’s part of the fun, explains Levy.
If you’re someone who experiences vaginal ejaculation , try this on for a new power dynamic. And if you just can’t bring yourself to ejaculate (not everyone does or can), at least getting to orgasm is still a win, right?
Work up a sweat before you get dirty together. In the wise words of Elle Woods, "Exercise gives me you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy!" Bonus if you somehow incorporate exercise equipment into your sex .
Resist having sex with your partner for a week, all the while the both of you tease and try to turn each other on. The resulting pleasure from a week-long foreplay session will be sure to result in a v memorable celebration at the end.
From head! to! toe! Take your time, tease them, and don’t stop when you get to their junk—like we said, head to toe is the assignment here.
This is something anyone of any gender can do to make their orgasms more explosive than ever, says Sarrah Rose, a sex educator at Tantric Activation .
Pompoir = squeezing your vaginal muscles during sex for added stimulation. There are lots of ways to do this—Rose recommends using a jade egg to strengthen these muscles—but you can also do this without any fancy toys. Just squeeze!
They might sound like A Lot, but the great thing about nip clamps is you can adjust the tightness so they’re like a light tug, as opposed to clamping . The light intensity of a clamp can increase pleasure sensation, Rose explains.
Sounds counterintuitive, I know, but orgasm denial can actually be the hottest thing you introduce to your sex life. If you mastered the art of teasing your partner for a week without giving in, try letting yourselves be brought right to the brink of orgasm but not orgasming—for a week.
“Liquid vibrator” sounds kinda too good to be true, but according to one of our writers, it delivers. After a few minutes, you’ll be beyond aroused and it might result in some v tingly partner play.
Yes, you can go to your local sex shop and pick up a new toy. But if you're nervous or self-conscious about it, order online! Plus, you can read up and comparison shop so you know you're getting exactly what you want.
Comparison shopping aside, sex toy shopping can still be a fun and spontaneous thing to do with your partner. And who knows, you might get turned on to a totally new kind of toy.
This is different than strip poker like above! See, by buying a game and waiting for it to be delivered, there’s a whole new layer of anticipation you can bring to the table. It’s like Christmas Eve, but for sex. And while strip poker works by making stripping something you can bet, a legit sex game straight-up tells you what to do, which brings a new level of excitement.
They say to write what you know, and what better way to do that than by incorporating what you know about you and your partner’s current sex life and injecting a healthy amount of fantasy into the mix? You can read it aloud or have them read it to themselves so you can watch their every reaction. Don’t worry about seeming silly, odds are they’ll be flattered and curious. P.S., if it becomes the next great Fifty Shades , I want a cut. Nothing absurd, but something reasonable like 10%.
Tell them exactly what you liked about it so they can try to recreate that for you going forward. Or use it in front of them if they're more of a ~visual~ learner. And if you really really liked it, use it while having sex with your partner. There's no shame in getting some solid use out of your sex toy splurge.
Bonus: Have them try it out the second time in front of you. If you need some inspiration, look into personal massagers , anal plugs , vibrating dildos , or even cock rings . Trust us, the options out there are a-plenty.
After you find some new sex toys you like on your own, try using them together! With a lil creativity and a whole lotta lube, you'd be surprised what a few charged toys can accomplish. Or invest in a couple's sex toy that does the job for both of you.
You know the idea of vibrating undies sounds sexy as hell. A few fun places to discretely wear them: at a friend's party, at a restaurant, or while at a bar. A not-so-great place to wear vibrating panties: your in-laws' house .
Yes, you deserve to feel yourself whether you keep the photos for yourself or share them with the world. (100% here for some spicy IGs.) If you have the chance, opt for professional hair, makeup, and lighting, and don't forget the Champagne to make it A Whole Damn Day.
Break out of the norm and get it on with someone new while still getting it on with your person. Role-play is a great way to do things differently, and you might be surprised how much of a difference a wig and accent can make. Sexy doctors on break, TV show characters, or attractive strangers—the options are kinda endless.
You know we had to put it on the list, and honestly, it's a classic for a reason. Three mouths, six hands, and 30 fingers will change your freaking life. It's up to you whether you’re the unicorn , you and your partner look for one , or you and your bestie look for a third , as long as you simply go forth and enjoy the extra attention.
Fifty Shades of whoever you're dating, amiright? Some hair pulling and spanking can be tres sexy, but just make sure you discuss boundaries and pick a safe word before taking on a submissive role .
...Or maybe being the domme is what you’re good at. Grab a leather jumpsuit, your favorite spanking weapon (tip: kitchen utensils make great sex toys ), and some BDSM accessories to see if being called "mistress" is your new M.O.
Think of tantric sex as like, sex meets meditation . The experience creates the ultimate, deep connection resulting in mind-blowing, extra-sensual sex. Plus, it reduces stress, helps you sleep, and results in veryyy intense orgasms .
Go at it before a Zoom meeting or a dinner reservation so you have a real-time restraint that makes you race to the finish. As good as slow sex is, sometimes a quickie can be even hotter .
Before jumping into butt play, easing into anal with a finger is an easy way to test the waters. It can be your fing or your partner’s, but gently insert it and give the anus a lil massage to see what all the fuss is about.
If the finger thing from number 49 did something for you, take the next step by trying an anal toy . This is called anal training and can help you accomplish your anal sex dreams if that's down the road for ya. Don't worry, there are tons of toy options out there, and the entire process is way less intimidating than it sounds.
Swap the finger or toy for a tongue with a rim job. Rimming (also called analingus ) is mouth-to-anus oral sex and it’s *also* less intimidating than it sounds. Both giving and receiving are totally different—in a good way!—than you probably think, so be sure to swap roles to really learn what rimming is all about.
You've been working up to this, and anal sex is definitely not something you want to sleep on. It can be extremely pleasurable for people with both penises and vaginas (and yup! you can orgasm from anal ), so give it a try...just make sure you have lots of lube on hand read some anal tips first .
If you don't have a penis, try donning a dildo or strap-on for a whole other type of play. Not only is wearing a harness hot but being on the giving side can actually be super erotic as well.
Try to avoid uttering a noise from foreplay to finish. If you're having trouble, this is the perfect time to get a ball-gag involved (as long as everyone consents, ofc). Include a few silent sex toys to add another twist to the sexuation.
Why hide? Lean into the sex noises and make your neighbors consider filing a noise-compliant. The extra vocal energy might actually give you a stronger orgasm, but if not, you'll have a blast seeing who can make a heartier howl.
It's like sexting, but IRL. Dunno where to start? Check out these sexy conversation starters (or enders, if you get me). When in doubt, simply describe what's going on, what you like, and what you want your partner to do to you. This is your chance to be as bossy as you want! Take it!
We're talking straight-up romance, people. Up the intensity of your sex and see what happens. Don't forget to light some mood candles and play some early John Mayer to really set the vibe.
After getting consent, ofc. You don't want to send something sexy, only for their boss to see. But if you get the go-ahead, pull some inspo from these romance-novelist-approved sexting tips to really make your S.O. blush.
Again, you want to make sure they're game with the idea, but if so, these sexting tips will inspire your dirty convo. And just make sure you're not like, snapping pics where everyone can see you. Discretion is key here, folks.
Feel free to give them some direction if they're just like, "What do I send you?" Sometimes we all need some coaching to snap that fire pic. Oh, and if they're down, please respect their privacy and don’t share (even if it’s a recycled nude photo ).
With their consent, though! A random nude when they're like, chilling with their friends or in a meeting can lead to a v awkward situation. Also general nude advice: Hide your face/any identifiable background, and make sure to only send nudes to someone you trust!
Take some time to explore and figure out what porn you like first. The good news is there's tons of ethical, feminist porn out there that's a) super hot and b) won't make you feel grimy because you know everyone involved is being paid fairly and treated respectfully. Once you find something you like, take turns playing show and tell...
There's plenty of erotica out there, no matter your preference. Whether you're into erotic lesbian stories , straight stories, ethical non-monogamy stories, or even fantasy, the world is your sexy oyster!
OK, it's basically a certified fact: Music makes sex better . Chances are you already know a song or two that gets you going. (It's Marvin Gaye for me, fam.) Do some song exploring, add everything to a playlist, and see how intense things get as you grind to the beat.
There are probably tons of places within driving distance you can go to, no reservation required. Make it a spontaneous weekend thing because yes, you deserve it. Besides, there's truly nothing better than heading to a romantic B&B for the weekend, only to stay in the room the whole time!
Get exotic and get your passport stamped while you're checking off your bucket list items. Whether this means you get it on with a local while single or your travel buddy while ~in a relationship~ is your call, but just remember: Other! Countries! Have! Sexy! Accents!
Do international orgasms hit the same? There's only one way to find out, and it 100% starts with overpacking and a trip to Paris. And *if* the sex doesn't fully blow your mind, at least you know the wine and cheese will.
This is a pretty common fantasy for a reason: Car sex is about as hot as it gets. Don't think it's just for horny teens—
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