Sensual Sexy

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Don't equate sensuality with sexuality. While sensuality can enhance sexuality, it can also be non-sexual. Stop thinking about sensuality as having to do only with sex and consider all of the other ways that you can be sensual; standing in the middle of a downpour, dipping strawberries in chocolate, or closing your eyes and listening to your favorite classical music. Once you let go of your preconceptions about what it means to be sensual, you can feel more freed about your own personal exploration. [1]
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Being sensual is not all about what happens in the bedroom. However, being sensual in your everyday life and taking the time to enjoy the world around you can make you feel more pleasure in the bedroom for sure.


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Take pleasure in your own body. No, this doesn't mean what you're thinking -- it just means that, if you want to be a sensual person, that you have to be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost. If you're not happy with who you are or how you look, then it'll be much more difficult for you to let go and let your body enjoy the world around you, whether you're kissing your partner or sunbathing on the beach. Work on building your confidence and self-esteem, and soon, you'll see that you'll be getting more pleasure and joy out of the ordinary things around you. [2]
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This doesn't mean you have to look like a supermodel, or even think that you look like a supermodel. It just means that you have to love your body and be open to whatever sensations the world may bring it.

Being comfortable in your own skin isn't something that happens overnight. But you can make a concerted effort to feel happier with who you are by doing the things you love, being around the people who make you feel good, and to work on improving anything you'd like to improve.


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Slow down. If you really want to be sensual, then you have to stop rushing through your day without stopping to breathe -- or to enjoy the rainbow forming over the clouds. There's a reason people say that you should "Stop and smell the roses." Life can pass us by in a flash, and it's important to take the time to acknowledge the world around you. Leave for work or school fifteen minutes early so you can take it slow and notice the world around you. Take a walk and look around you instead of texting or being on the phone at all times. If your friend gets up to go the bathroom at a bar, look at the interesting patrons around you instead of logging into your Facebook. You'll see what a big difference this makes in your ability to indulge in the world around you.
Part of the reason you may find it hard to slow down is because your days are so packed that you don't have a moment to breathe. See what you can cut down on to free up some time just for enjoying the world around you. If this sounds ridiculous, make slightly more concrete plans; decide to watch the sunset, enjoy a bottle of wine with a friend, or go to an outdoor concert.

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Look for new ways to indulge your senses. Sensual people are always looking to take a bigger bite out of life. Don't just try to enjoy the same old things you've been doing, but find new ways to use your senses and to experience the world. Go on a long hike and stop and look at the flora and fauna, go wine tasting with your partner, or cook a long and savory breakfast instead of your usual granola bar on the go. Think about something you've always wanted to do, whether it's mountain biking or taking photos of the roses in the beautiful garden in your town, and make a plan to actually accomplish it. [3]
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This doesn't mean you should get stressed out by all of the millions of ways to be sensual out there. It does mean that you should always be open to new sensory experiences, though.

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Be present. If you want to be sensual, then you have to learn to live in the present and to take each day as it comes. Don't spend all day fretting about something that will happen three months from now or regretting something you said a week ago. It's just not worth it and it won't change anything. Instead, enjoy the day you're in, look around you, get some fresh air, and take pleasure in even the ordinary conversations you may be having with your coworkers. Learn to live in the moment and you'll be able to take the time to experience sensory pleasure.
Whether you're taking the bus home or sitting at work, take the time to notice the world around you. What is the weather like? What do you see outside your window? What do you smell? What do you hear? How many details can you write down about the present moment? Getting in the habit of asking yourself these details can help you live in the present.

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Spend more time doing the things that excite you. Don't feel guilty about doing things that actually make you feel good and happy. This can mean having sex with your partner more often, taking the time to cook a delicious meal even if you're short on time, or playing your favorite record in the morning when you wake up. You're not hurting anybody by spending more time indulging in your favorite pleasures, and you're becoming a more sensual person in the process.
Think about what an average week in your life looks like. Are there things you can cut out, like watching lame TV shows, in favor of doing something you really love, like taking a yoga class or painting in the gardens near your home?

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Play with your hair. Spend more time brushing your hair, tossing your hair back, running your fingers through your hair, and just enjoying the feeling of your hair on your head. When you're in the shower, take the time to massage shampoo and conditioner into your scalp and enjoy the feeling of running your fingers through your locks. This will help you indulge in one of the most amazing parts of your body. And if you have a partner, playing with his or her hair will add a sensual touch to your relationship.

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Spend more time in the shower. That's right. Being in the shower doesn't have to feel like a race to get in and out as fast as humanly possible. Though it's nice to be eco- friendly and to save water, soak in a bath or just spend some time soaping your body and enjoying the sensation of getting clean and feeling the water running over your body. Sing to yourself if you want to. Just spent the time enjoying the sensation of getting clean instead of trying to rush on with your day as fast as you can.

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Use lotion. Take a nicely scented lotion and massage it into your body. This will help you spend more time with your sensations, both because of your sense of touch and your sense of smell. Your body will also feel softer and you'll enjoy touching and feeling it throughout the day. The lotion doesn't have to have an overwhelming scent; just a touch of juniper or lilac can make you feel happier throughout your day.

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Enjoy nice fabrics. Wear a nice silk robe. Spend time under your favorite comfy blanket. Get a new pillow that feels heavenly under your head. Wear the jacket that makes you feel like you're wearing a pillow. Take the time to enjoy the sensation of a nice piece of fabric or cloth between your fingers or on your body, and you'll be having a more sensual experience.

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Go to a farmer's market. Farmer's markets are the perfect place to make use of all of your senses. Go to your local farmer's market and try all of the samples the vendors offer. Feel the weight and the texture of the different fruits and vegetables you have in your hands. Stop and smell the fresh cilantro, parsley, dill, and other herbs you see. Take the time to enjoy a pleasant conversation with the people selling the produce and bring home at least some fresh fruit and a bouquet of flowers. You don't have to be a master chef to enjoy this sensory -- and sensual -- experience.

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Enjoy a delicious home cooked meal. Cooking a simple meal at home can awaken your senses and make you
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