Rubbing Clitoris
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Rubbing Clitoris
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When it comes to the clitoris, that old saying "different strokes for different folks" has never been more true.
"Clitorises are very unique! There's really not one standard type of stimulation that works for all women," says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School , an online orgasm course for women. And, considering orgasms aren't even on the table for many women without some clit play, figuring out what makes you tick is pretty important.
"In general, most women are divided into two camps: those [who] prefer direct clitoral stimulation, and those [who] prefer indirect," says Marin. To determine which brand of stimulation your body likes, she suggests starting with two different strokes: "First, try circling your clitoris with one fingertip, without directly touching it. If you want more stimulation, make your circle tighter until you start touching the clitoris itself."
Once that baseline for pleasurable touch is established, feel free to get creative. Here are six new ways to stimulate your clitoris you may not have thought of before.
It may be tempting to just zero in on the clit and start rubbing away, but that may not quite be what makes your clit tick. Try building sensation first. "If you like direct stimulation, try stroking diagonally across the surface of your clitoris," Marin suggests. If you prefer indirect, try stroking the sides of the clit and the clitoral hood rather than the clit itself. Mix it up by using two, three, even four fingers if you typically just use one. Experiment with different patterns over your go-to.
A light touch may be best, but instead of just stroking your clit, try playing around with pressure: Try squeezing the clit, gently gripping the skin on either between your thumb and pointer finger. Once you've established what degree of pressure feels good for you, try manipulating the skin by moving your hand up and down—like a tiny hand job for your clitoris.
Edging means building up to climax, but then backing off just before you reach the point of no return. When you finally do cum, the sensation is...let's just say, worth the wait.
That said, it requires practice: You need to know your body well enough to discern how close you are to orgasm and exactly how much further you can go before pulling back. Try it on your own before you do it with a partner: start slowly, and build up pleasure with light touches around your clit. Engage in meditative, yogic breathing to help pace yourself. As you feel yourself about to climax, switch from whatever rhythm's getting you there to something else: pulsing over strokes; left hand over right; one finger from two; broad circles from a diagonal. Tease yourself until you can't hold back any longer.
Sex toys are, obviously, a reliable way to get off; most readers, however, will likely be most familiar with the penetrative Rabbit-inspired models, or maybe the iconic Hitachi wand. But for couples play, it helps to incorporate something smaller.
"In most positions, you can squeeze a sex toy between your legs to get some clitoral stimulation," says Marin. "My favorite vibrator recommendation is the Minna Life Limon ($119, minnalife.com ). It uses a squeeze technology, so the harder you squeeze, the harder it vibrates. It feels more intuitive than many other vibrators."(Or check out Squish ($99, u nboundbabes.com ), Minna's collaboration with Unbound.)
Or, choose a hands-free vibrator—like Dame's Eva ($135, amazon.com )—that's designed to stay positioned on your clit during sex. For solo play, the Satisfyer Pro ($48, amazon.com ) is designed to mimic the sensation of cunnilingus using air pressure. Stimulating!
Don't want to shell out for a sex toy? Maybe reconsider some of the stuff you have just lying around the house. "A lot of women masturbate by grinding against pillows, towels, hairbrushes, or TV remotes," says Marin. In case you were feeling weird about humping your duvet cover.
Certain penis-in-vagina sex positions work better for clitoral stimulation than others— Women's Health has a whole list for your pleasure—but in general, any situation in which the clit is grinding against another body part will be more likely to yield orgasmic results. Think: rubbing up against your partner's thigh or pubic bone.
"When you're on top during intercourse, have your partner hold his thumb upright against his pelvis. You want it located directly under your clit. As you move, grind your clitoris against his thumb," Marin suggests.
But if you prefer positions that leave your clit out in the open, like doggy style, "touch yourself!" she urges. "So few women actually do this."
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Associate Lifestyle editor
Jasmine Gomez is the associate lifestyle editor at Women’s Health and covers health, fitness, sex, culture and cool products.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in.
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You know how in A Midsummer Night’s Dream , Shakespeare famously wrote, “And though she be but little, she is fierce”? Yeah, that basically sums up your clit. “Research shows it’s clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation, that is the powerhouse of the female orgasm,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner , PhD, author of She Comes First . In other words, clit stimulation is a must when it comes to mind-blowing sex.
Relationship and sex therapist Erica Marchand , PhD, agrees. "Clitoral stimulation is a necessity for most [people] to have an orgasm. Plus, it feels really good, helps [the partner] get turned on, can help with lubrication, and in general makes for a much more pleasurable sexual experience."
It's also a must for people who usually don't orgasm from penetrative sex whether that's because they're on their periods, find penetration painful, or simply don't get off from it. "Most women don't have orgasms through penetration alone—it would be akin to a guy trying to orgasm just from someone stimulating his scrotum and the base of his penis and never going near the head. Maybe it would happen sometimes, but it would be difficult!" says Marchand.
Sex therapist Wendasha Jenkins-Hall , PhD, also adds that the clitoris is the only organ on the human body that exists solely for sexual pleasure, so it's often the key to unlocking the female orgasm.
But given that your clitoral glans—that nub you can see on the outside, which contain the most nerve endings in the clit, 8,000 to be exact—can be anywhere from 2.5 to 4 centimeters away from your vaginal entrance, lots of sex positions won’t exactly do the trick, says Kerner. That’s why WH rounded up a few expert-approved moves that will hit all the right spots. Happy experimenting!
The Table Top position provides easy access to the clitoris, says Jenkins-Hall. "Either partner can stimulate the clitoris with their hands or a toy during strokes. Also, the clitoris can be gently pushed down to receive stimulation during the stroking motion." Plus, this position ups the intimacy, as there's plenty of opportunity for eye-contact.
Do it: You don’t have to do this one on a table—any surface that hits your partner at crotch height will do. Have them enter you while you’re sitting or lying at the edge of a table, counter, or maybe even your bed.
Modifications: If the position gets a uncomfortable, Jenkins-Hall recommends placing a pillow underneath of the receiving partner.
Want to feel every inch of your partner? Try this one. "This side-lying position is great because it provides skin-to-skin contact and the clitoris is readily available," says Jenkins-Hall. "Either partner can provide stimulation to clitoris while thrusting by simply wrapping their arms toward the front since both are lying and facing the same direction."
Do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind in the spooning position.
Modifications: Since the position may make the clitoris a little harder to reach, the receptive partner should spread or widen their legs to make it more accessible, suggests Jenkins-Hall.
You already know pretzels taste good, but contorting your bodies into one can make for explosive pleasure. Deviate from the thrusting norm, and focus on friction for maximum results. “This position is about persistently connecting and grinding against each other,” says Kerner. That grinding action will help make your clit happy.
Do it: Lie on your right side. Your partner kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side. Have them enter you from here. This will provide deep penetration and easy clit access.
Modifications: Not feeling enough pressure? Have your partner lean back. “If they lean forward, it’s easier to manually stimulate you," says Kerner. "But leaning back offers the best angle to press into each other."
This romantic position is made with the added focus on your clitoris. You can give yourself a hand, or you can close the distance between your two bodies to go hands-free. “Rub yourself against them to get the stimulation you need,” says Kerner.
Do it: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed. You face them, straddling their lap. From here, you can control the angle and depth of the entry and thrusts. Plus, this position provides extra support, which is helpful for long sex seshes.
Modifications: Have them support your weight, then lean back for more clitoral contact against their body. “Think of it as them dipping you during a dance," says Kerner. "With that support, you can get a good rhythm going."
Get more bang for your buck. While this position is a natural for G-spot stimulation, it can be a winner for your clitoris, too. “When [your partner] is in a comfortable enough position, they can try to reach under you and provide clitoral stimulation,” says Kerner.
Do it: This is a modified doggy-style . To do this variation, get on your hands and knees, then, keeping your hips raised, rest your head and arms on the bed. Have your partner enter you from behind, while holding your hips for extra thrusting support. They can rub your clit from this position, or you can take matters into your own hands.
Modifications: If the thrusting makes it hard for them to keep their hand on target, have them grind against you in circles instead. Less in-and-out motion can make for a more consistent connection.
It’s an oldie and a goodie for a reason. “This can be nice if [you're] able to focus less on thrusting and more on connecting,” says Kerner. If you need a stronger touch, feel free to grab their butt and pull them deeper inside of you so that their pelvic area presses harder against your clitoris.
Do it: Lie on your back while your partner lies facedown on top of you. Have them enter you here, pressing close together so their penis or strap-on can rub up against your clit. From here, play around with the position a bit—shift the angle of your legs to change the sensation for both of you.
Modifications: Have them scoot their entire body higher up horizontally. “If they ride you a little higher, they won’t just be thrusting,” says Kerner. Instead, they’ll have to move their body down a bit each time they want to get deeper, which means their pelvis and the shaft of their penis or strap-on can massage your clitoris.
This move great if you want to have your partner stimulate your clitoris for you. “It may be hard to stimulate yourself because you’re on both hands, but they can lean over and reach under to touch your clitoris,” says Kerner.
Do it: Get on all fours. Your partner kneels behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you. Again, this position allows for deep penetration and easy access to your clit. Either stimulate your own clit with one hand, while balancing on the other, or ask your partner to take total control.
Modifications: Ask your partner to lean over even more so their hand can stay pressed up against your clitoris , or transition from thrusting into smoother grinding motions. That way, you may be able to support yourself enough to get the job done on your own.
Feeling intimate ? This position offers the best of both worlds: ultimate closeness to your partner and plenty of clitoral stimulation. “Once you’re both comfortably positioned, you can get into a great grinding rhythm against their leg,” says Kerner.
Do it: From missionary position , without pulling out, turn together onto your sides, using your arms to support your upper bodies. From here, you get the same full-body press (good news for your clit). You can also try intertwining your legs here, for extra stimulation.
Modifications: One of you can slip a hand down south to get the most out of this position. “Since you’re on your sides, you have enough support to easily provide some manual stimulation,” says Kerner.
Opening up is a good thing when you’re trying to get off. “When your vulva is very exposed, there’s a lot of clitoral and inner labial stimulation,” says Kerner. Go to town with your hands, and focus on the visual of them sliding in and out of you if you need some erotic fuel.
Do it: Lie back with your legs raised all the way up and your ankles crossed behind your own head. Have your partner enter you from a missionary position.
Modifications: Do away with the hand action. Ask your partner to reposition their body a bit higher so that their pelvis is right against your clitoris, says Kerner.
Does it look like the dirty version of a move you’d do in barre class? Yes. Does it provide awesome sensations for your nether regions? Absolutely. Another perk Marchand points out: this position is perfect for watching. "The pinball wizard is great for being able to watch your partner do their thing! And also for the potential for G-spot stimulation, depending on the angle of thrusting, as well as for manual clitoral stimulation by either partner." The key here is getting really close, then changing up the direction of your movements. Instead of regular thrusting, have your partner move your body up and down against theirs.
Do it: Get into a partial bridge pose, with your weight resting on your shoulders. Your partner enters you from a kneeling position. You can adjust your height by lifting your hips higher, or going up on your tip-toes. You can also try throwing one leg up against their shoulder for deeper penetration.
Modifications: Stabilize yourself (you may have to come down from the balls of your feet unless your partner can support you with one hand), and have them touch your clitoris just the way you like. “If [they] have the strength for it, that could definitely work,” says Kerner. You can also use pillows for support, Marchand adds. "To make clitoral stimulation easier in this position, I'd add a stack of pillows or a foam support underneath your partner, so both participants can relax more and focus less on holding the other up and more on their movements and consistency of clitoral stimulation."
If you need long-lasting clitoral stimulation, you can settle into this comfortable position and stay a while. Get extra-close, and grind against your partner, says Kerner: “It’s really about their pelvis and your clitoris making contact.”
Do it: Your partner sits cross-legged, and you sit on their lap facing them. Wrap your legs around them and hug each other for support. Rather than thrusting, try rocking to really make the most of this position.
Modifications: Switch up your movements, says Kerner. Try rubbing up and down against them or rolling your hips in mini circles until you find what feels best.
This easy transition from missionary may not seem like a clitoris-pleaser, but a tweak makes it work. “Have them ride high and focus on pressing down on your body,” says Kerner. “It’s a great position for a lot of contact and grinding.”
Do it: From missionary position, raise your legs and extend them straight out, forming a “V” shape. You can also try grabbing your ankles for stability, and an added stretch.
Modifications: Instead of having them do all the work, slip your arms around their back, hold them close to you, and rub your body against theirs. The added pressure might be just what you need to reach the big O.
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This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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