Removing Pantyhose

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Removing Pantyhose
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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- William Kennedy Smith's attorney attempted to weaken his accuser's credibility Thursday by asking why she removed her pantyhose before the sexual encounter she called rape.
The 30-year-old Jupiter woman burst into tears several times during questioning by defense attorney Roy Black.

Each time, Black asked whether she wanted to take a break.
'No, I really want to get this over with,' she replied. After one such exchange, Judge Mary Lupo said, 'Well there's just a certain amount of emotional display that we're allowed to have.' She then called for a brief recess.
Smith, the 31-year-old nephew of Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., is accused of raping the woman at the Kennedy estate March 30.
Testifying for the second day in Smith's rape trial, the woman repeatedly said she did not remember when or why she removed her black Givenchy control-top pantyhose and black slingback shoes.

Another witness testified the woman was wearing the nylons March 30 as she prepared to leave Au Bar in Palm Beach with Smith. After the alleged rape, the shoes and pantyhose were found in the woman's car.
The brown-haired woman, wearing a simple blue suit and white blouse, told the six-member Palm Beach County Court jury she met Smith at the bar March 30, gave him a ride home, then accepted his invitation to see the Kennedy house because 'it's a landmark home.'
The woman said Smith then asked her to go for a walk on the beach and she accepted. She left the beach, she said, when Smith began removing his clothes to go swimming.
It was then, she said, that Smith, who she initially thought was 'a nice, intelligent man,' tackled her on the ground, raped her, then told her, 'No one's going to believe you.'
In a statement to police, the woman said she may have taken off the pantyhose before strolling the sandy beach. She apparently did not have them on during the alleged attack because she testified that Smith pushed up her dress, pulled her panties aside and entered her.

Black suggested she had taken off the pantyhose and shoes in the car before the walk on the sandy beach was ever proposed.
'I don't recall doing that and it would be practically impossible to take them off in my car,' said the woman, who drives a two-seat sports car.
'You wouldn't take off your pantyhose just to see the house, would you?' Black asked.
The woman said she probably would not have, though she does not remember.
'So it had to be for some other reason that you took them off,' Black said.
'I don't know,' the woman responded.
She said she could not remember several details of the evening because, 'I'd been raped. I was scared to death.'
But she was able to remember details such as the brand of champagne she ordered at Au Bar -- Cliquot.
Black also attacked the woman's earlier testimony that she did not consider herself to be on a date with Smith and did not expect to ever date him because he lived in Washington.
In an April statement to police, the woman said that while on the beach, she was thinking, 'Maybe he wants my phone number.'

'You were hoping that he was going to call you up and ask for a date?' said Black.
The woman replied that she only thought he might call as 'a potential friend,' and that her interest was in discussing medical topics with Smith.
He was a medical school student at the time, and has since graduated.
'I'm very interested in medical people because of my daughter,' said the woman, whose 2-year-old daughter was born prematurely and suffers a variety of chronic medical problems.
Black took a few shots at the woman, making sure the jury knew she had seen a psychologist the day before the alleged rape.
'One of your routine appointments?' Black said.
The psychologist had advised her to go out more, 'get a life,' and stop focusing all her attention on her daughter, she said.
When the woman said she did not know if Smith was drunk on the night in question, Black said, 'You've been to plenty of bars in your life haven't you? You even go out with a number of bartenders?'
The woman had said previously she had a close male friend who is a bartender and may have talked to him on the night in question.

Black also hammered away at inconsistencies in the woman's testimony, and at discrepancies between her earlier statements to police and her depositions to Smith's lawyers.
In the initial rape report to police the woman said Smith was able to maintain only a partial erection, but was still able to penetrate her and ejaculate. Black is expected to call medical experts to cast doubts on that.
The woman told police she screamed loudly, facing the Kennedy house while Smith was on top of her.
'I'd seen the senator minutes earlier and I was hoping he'd come help me,' she told police.
But in a later statement she said her face was turned toward the ocean.
Black suggested she changed her story after a sound expert hired by Smith's attorney determined that if she had screamed toward the house, the noise likely would have been audible to some of the dozen inhabitants.
The woman said she did not know of the sound expert's finding.
The woman told her story publicly for the first time Wednesday, sobbing as she said, 'I was yelling 'no' and 'stop' and I tried to arch my back to get him off me and he slammed me back into the ground and then he pushed my dress up and he raped me,' she said. 'I thought he was going to kill me.'

She said during the incident 'I was screaming and I was struggling and he told me to 'stop it, bitch.''
Smith is charged with one felony count of sexual battery, Florida's equivalent of rape, and one misdemeanor count of battery. He faces 15 years in prison if convicted.
Outside the courtroom Wednesday, Smith said, 'Obviously we saw some very sad, and some very dramatic testimony today but I've been living with these allegations, with these damnable lies, for the last eight months. I hope everybody will be patient as I have been and allow me the opportunity, with Roy's help, to defend myself in the coming days.'
The four-women, two-men jury is sequestered and is expectedto deliver a verdict before Christmas.
Smith admits he had sex with the woman but he said she consented. His attorney described the encounter as 'a consensual act of love.'



interviews

gelding

nullo

penectomy

surgery



In 1994, a South Florida man who goes by the name Gelding was surgically castrated. In 2011, he had his penis removed as well. He's a " nullo ": A cisgender man who removes his external genitalia completely as a form of body modification , and he recently agreed to answer our questions—from "why?" to "what do balls taste like?"

Gelding is a nudist and describes himself as a submissive
bear . Apart from his desire to use a pseudonym, he let it all hang out (so to speak) when I reached out to him and graciously answered every question I had.

Is nullo your preferred term to describe yourself and others like you who are castrated and have removed their penis?

Yes, the reason that we use that it is not transgender. It's simply nullification of what you've got. A friend of mine Mack in San Francisco likes to use the term "mascunull", because I remain as masculine as they come with fur and so forth. But I no longer have the parts.

What are some misconceptions people have about nullos?

A few men don't know their own physiology to the point where they think if they lose their balls they can't come any more. And that's false. If you look at the physiology you see that the fluids are made by the seminal vesicles and the prostate. Very little of the fluid and the content is produced in the testes. I still unload.

But the active ingredient for impregnating someone isn't there.

Do you get a lot of people who think you're trying to become a woman?

Absolutely. And it's mostly the medical profession who sees the sexes as either male or female. And anyone who wants to alter any part of that is in some way suffering from gender dysphoria. They don't like themselves for some reason and they want to change gender. And that's absolutely false.

It's not a dysphoria. I see it in the positive way of working
toward something, rather than away from something. Many of the guys instead of putting a negative feel on it see it as a positive. Being castrated is a positive to them. Rather than removing something that they dislike, they are moving in the direction that they want. I went through a long set of psychological evaluation sessions with a psychologist here in town, because that was necessary in order to have the penis removed.

You've previously discussed your 1994 castration. However, I didn't find anything on your penis removal in 2011. Can you talk about that?

I knew I was uncomfortable in having frankly large male parts. I would quite often sit on my own balls because they were loose unless I wore something tight and held them in I would sit on them and squash them. That got me into trouble playing soccer in college when they forced us to wear these hard plastic cups. What happened was I fell on a guy's upright knee with the weight of another player behind me, so two of us fell on the knee. The knee happened to hit the middle of the plastic cup and imploded and tore me up. I was severely injured.

The doctor saved everything but over a period of time the nerves gave me some problems and I had aches in my testicles all the time. When I was in the military service they tried doing a varicose vein removal but that didn't help, it just made matters worse. They thought I was suffering from varicose veins. So after leaving the service I had them removed. And that removed that little problem but I still had the nerve sensations in the penis which woke me up at night. So I could get erect, but it was painful.

So I talked with my urologist and he said the only treatment for that was to make it numb, which is very dangerous because if you make something like that numb then you don't know if it's infected for some reason. Or remove it, but to do that he needs to cover his ass and asked for a psychological evaluation. And my own doctor is a professor at Nova Southeastern University here in. She is the most brilliant doctor I've ever met. So, I asked her about this problem and she was very forthright and said "well, we'll have to treat you". She didn't consider it something that was wrong with me, she said "we have to investigate." I went to see a psychiatrist and he spent a good 90 minutes with me and said "yes, I have just the person that can work with you." So the psychologist did a battery of personality tests and said "you're perfectly fine, your only problem is that you've got these physical problems which work on your nerves." And I said "yeah." And he said "it also works with your personality" because I'm a gay submissive and I always have been and it wasn't working right. So in order to to fix it I worked toward a goal of having things removed. And that was it. I'm working in a positive way to solve my own personal problem.

But was castration something you were contemplating prior to the injury?

Yes. For whatever reason I was always embarrassed by the size of what I had. It didn't fit my personality.

Do you remember when you the fantasy to remove your testicles first occurred?

I had a baby face in high school, there was one of these bullies and he said "you have a man's equipment but you're still a boy" and he squeezed my balls in the shower. He was on the football team, I was on the soccer team showering together and he said "you shouldn't have such big equipment" so he squeezed my balls and at that point it was just a fantasy for me. So how about getting rid of them for some reason?

When did it go from fantasy to aspiration?

It became a fetish thing where I would do sort of more self destructive things with them like putting rubber bands around them and needles through the balls and whatnot. It's a progression which a lot of guys go through. It's something that works on them and they say "Well, how about if we just have them off? Then I won't be bothered by this constant urge to hurt them". And this is where a psychologist gets into the dysphoria. It's very difficult to distinguish whether it's a dislike for something or instead you're working towards something else. I always thought when I was on the beach—I was also on the swim team—and we had Speedos, it was difficult to pack everything in frankly. I would be embarrassed and everybody was looking and here I am and I've got the biggest package and I'm not the biggest guy and I got a whole lot of looks from everybody.

I had a big dick, it got damaged and I was a bottom. I didn't want to use it, I got pushed into using it, I had to take all sorts of medications and was tired of being somebody else's tool.

Broadly speaking, how can someone know that being a nullo is something they actually want to go through with as opposed to something they fantasize about?

That's something really for a psychologist to answer, but in talking to all the guys that I've been talking with, they try to come up with all sorts of different rationalizations to justify it. In my case, my medical situation really didn't justify it because I was just uncomfortable with what I had. It wasn't medically necessary. But I felt that I would be much more comfortable having the issues of having the sensation but not being able to use it well. It was something like a guy having a useless appendage and it's something he has to carry around, and it becomes baggage after a while.

If someone starts/botches the process on their own, what would you recommend they do? Should people use a cover story to avoid getting in trouble?

No. Go to the emergency room. Today, they have been exposed to a lot more of the literature out there than they were 20 years ago. They're not going to be institutionalized. I mean years ago they used to institutionalize guys that were gay.

How would you say the breakdown is between gay and straight men for nullos?

I would have to say it's mostly gays. I don't know of a straight guy who became a nullo.

You had said in a previous interview that for castrations it's about a two to one for gay to straight men that decide to do it.

I've heard of a couple of straight guys who decided that they were making too many babies so they had their balls off so they could take testosterone and continue. I know quite a few bodybuilders both gay and straight whose testes have shrunk because of the steroids they are taking which are bad for their health. So they got castrated and now they're on medically injected testosterone which is good for them. It's not as harmful as oral steroids are or some of the other shit that they're pumping into themselves.

How would you recommend people do their penectomy and castration?

In the last couple of years, my friend Mack from San Francisco ran into Dr. Crane from Brownstein & Crane and he met him, and I don't know how the two of them had the discussion, and then I had a phone interview with Dr. Crane and I explained my situation with him and now Dr. Crane is no longer doing just transgender type of procedures but [also] genital modifications.

The protocol that the doctors use for transgender people is called the Harry Benjamin protocol. So for example Dr. Reed in Miami, before you go to his clinic you have to take female hormones for six months and show some development of breasts and whatnot, some feminine characteristics before he will deal with you. And why do that when you simply want to get the genitals removed?

If anything, wouldn't additional testosterone be what you'd need after castration?

Men who get castrated, they do get depressed if they don't start fairly right away on testosterone. Because the falling hormone causes hot flashes first of all, and then the loss of libido. You lose all interest in sex and everything else.

Are there any changes that occur to the body as a result?

Body changes are minimal really. If you lose your balls, you won't lose all your hair.

Voice doesn't change, no. The larynx is a hard tissue, and the voice box and everything else is a hard tissue. But the timbre of your voice is a factor of the larynx. I sang in the college choir, I know about these th
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