Seniors Having Sex Pics
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aging, seniors Jacob Brown May 22, 2019 Jacob Brown - Psychotherapist aging, healthcare, conflict, seniors, geriatric therapy 2 Comments
Grief Jacob Brown February 18, 2019 Jacob Brown - Therapy for Aging and Grief grief counseling, grief
Jacob Brown - Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #110111 Supervised by Rawna Romero LMFT #41466 Specializing in working with adults, Seniors, and couples Therapy Individual and Couples Therapy in Marin and San Francisco Online therapy (Zoom or by phone) available throughout california Practicing through the auspices of Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy Center
21 Tamal Vista Boulevard Suite 194,
Online Therapy Now Available. Meet by phone or by Zoom. Available to clients anywhere in California.
The world doesn’t like to talk about senior sex. People would prefer to pretend that older couples don’t have sex, don’t want sex, and don’t even think about sex. But, for those of us who are over 65, we know that’s not the truth. Older couples think about sex, want sex, need sex. Whether you’re having sex or not, the idea of sex is a part of every relationship, no matter what their age.
For couples in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and beyond, the desire for sex doesn’t disappear. Men and women want, and need, to experience a physical expression of intimacy, closeness and love no matter what their age. The need for physical and emotional intimacy is central to what makes us human, it's literally hardwired into our DNA. Sex for older couples is just as important as it is for younger couples.
But while the desire for some form of physical connection is there, older couples have to accept and adjust to the reality that their bodies have changed with age. Senior sex is different from sex in your 20’s and 30’s. Just as we move from running to walking or from singles tennis to doubles as we age, the way we experience sex has to reflect how our bodies work, or don’t work, today.
I saw an article the other day on “The best positions for senior sex”. I think that’s just a ridiculous idea. As if having good sex just about your physical position (they’d never write an article about the best positions for couples in their 30’s). And, it assumes that somehow all seniors, senior bodies, and senior attitudes are the same. There’s no such thing as the “best” position for older couples to have sex. There’s only what works for you as a couple. And the most important part of finding what works for a couple is the willingness to talk about sex and what’s working and isn’t.
But talking about senior sex is much easier said than done. We’ve all grown up with so many taboos around our bodies and sex that it can be very hard to communicate. It’s sad, but many older couples have stopped having sex, even though both partners want sex. The barrier to sex isn’t physical, it’s that one or both partners are too embarrassed to admit to their partner that things have changed, and they can’t perform the way they used to. Instead of talking about it, they’ll just say “I don’t want to” or “I can’t”. Because a deeper and more intimate conversation is too scary.
When you’re younger, sex is all about intercourse. Everything else is just foreplay. But, as we age, traditional intercourse may no longer be an option. Many post-menopausal women experience painful intercourse that can’t be solved, no matter how much lube they use. And many older men have trouble maintaining an erection (even with medication). It’s the same thing for orgasms. When you’re younger, good sex means everybody has an orgasm. That may not be the case for older men and women. Many older men and women have trouble reaching orgasm. So while sex for older couples is different, that doesn’t mean it can’t be good sex. I don’t know if I believe these claims that sex after 60 is better than sex in your 20’s, but I do know that older couples can have an active, meaningful and satisfying sex life. But it requires that you open your mind, let go of your prejudices, and share your feelings with your partner.
So, what does “sex” mean if intercourse can’t happen and orgasms aren’t a sure thing? This is the core question that every older couple must do their best to address openly, honestly, and lovingly. A discussion in which each person must find compassion for themselves, and their body, as well as for their partner.
Some couples may move from defining sex as sexual intercourse to sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy is physical intimacy that may, or may not, include intercourse or orgasms. Holding, stroking, touching, kissing, loving, these are at the core of sexual closeness and sexual intimacy. These are the elements that the relationship can’t live without. This closeness actually generates a hormonal response called Oxytocin that changes brain chemistry and makes us feel happier and more content.
Physical intimacy is vital to our individual health and the health of a relationship. It is a meaningful, intimate and deeply satisfying experience whether either partner has an orgasm or not. We all love orgasms, but as human beings, we crave closeness.
But adapting our sex life to be in synch with our older bodies requires courage. The courage to change and the courage to be open, honest and vulnerable with our partner. We have to open our minds and get away from the idea that if it’s not traditional intercourse than it’s not really sex. That path only leads to dissatisfaction and loneliness.
This evolution of sexuality is not really a glass half full or half empty issue, its accepting that it’s a different kind of glass. And this new glass is full and wonderful. It’s true that we may feel sadness or grief over the loss of what our sex lives used to be like. But we can’t let that loss get in the way of being open to a new sexual life that is different, but equally important, vibrant, and satisfying.
I hope you’ve found this article helpful. I’d love to read your comments and to hear about your experiences.
I want to point out that this article has been written from the point of view of seniors who are in intimate relationships. Unfortunately, many seniors find themselves without partners. I’ll be discussing sex and sexual intimacy for seniors without partners in a new article soon.
I also didn’t address the special challenges facing LGBTQ seniors in finding sexual connection.
Thank you for sharing and talking about this! I feel like it is so taboo sometimes to bring acknowledgment that women, well people, in their 60s are still having sex, and great sex at that! I was just doing some reading with great studies that backed up how happy and healthy people in their 60s and beyond are having great sex, https://www.ez.insure/landing/2022/01/sex-survey-in-your-sixties/ . I would love to hear your thoughts on it!
Greetings Jacob. I recently wrote a book entitled Shelter In The Sun. It explores a relationship between Doris, 73 years old and her lover, Glenn, 7 years old. I am so glad that you are committed to continuing the conversation about what love is, and, how seniors can express their love through intimacy and sex. Great article! Look forward more articles like this one.
Are there groups of like-minded people over 65 who are interested in an intimate relationship ?
We are M & M, an over 70s married couple who still enjoy SEX. I am a sex-addict. My wife is willing but reluctant. In the 1980s we used to enjoy watching "sexy movies" (porn) together. Now she still likes sex, but it's become routine: we basically masturbate each other. I have erectile problems due to blood pressure medications. She can still get wet, but we're slower to respond to each other and sometimes just have to "give it up until later." Any suggestions? I'd like to get back to occasionally watching our "sexy movies" and getting horny together. Your thoughts? M & M Smith
I don't know you or your wife, so I can't really make any specific suggestions. My only comment is that I don't think what worked 40 years ago is really relevant for your life today. It feels like you're trying to push your agenda as opposed to really working together to find something that works for both of you. Try sharing your feelings and listening closely to your wife. That's the best way to find something that brings you closer together. All my best, Jacob
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Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy Center, is a nonprofit organization providing affordable psychotherapy to children, teens, adults, couples, families, and groups throughout San Francisco, Marin, the East Bay, and Contra Costa County. Information contained on this website is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a mental health professional. If you are in crisis or having an emergency, you should go immediately to your nearest emergency room or call 911. Jacob Brown’s offices are in San Francisco and Corte Madera, serving clients throughout the Bay Area. He also conducts virtual therapy sessions with clients anywhere in California.
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3/30/17
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Blogger Paulette Mann, 81, and her confidant Ronni Verebay, 71, are still learning about what makes them tick in the bedroom.
The ladies swapped sex stories after becoming platonic friends on Stitch , an online dating and companionship site for people over 50.
Mann, who describes herself as a polar sexual opposite from her friend Verebay, still shares her pal’s enthusiasm for the sometimes taboo subject matter.
“The reason why I think sex should be talked about, is that there’s nothing wrong with it,” Mann told The Post.
Verebay, who is “having lots of sex,” is so bold as to wear a necklace that doubles as a vibrator. She said she enjoys experimenting, including a kind of foreplay called “orgasmic meditation.”
“A man strokes your clitoris for 15 minutes,” Verebay told The Post.
“I know, it is beyond crazy. But I’m figuring my p–y is no different than anyone else’s. Women should be educated,” she said.
The Post followed Mann and Vereday on an excursion to Babeland, a sex shop in downtown Manhattan, where they browsed the toys. The vibrators were appealing to Mann, while the collars and leashes that could also be found in a pet shop were “a little scary” to her.
Mann, who said she’s not afraid to take her sexual matters into her own hands, believes women can start exploring sexuality at any age.
This Post video was produced by Elettra Fiumi and Lea Khayata of Granny Cart Productions.
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Bonnie and Joel in Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex .
LOS ANGELES —Bonnie and Joel have known each other for over half a century. Now, they’re filming their very first porno.
They sit on a white leather couch, backlit by the Southern California sun, and gaze romantically at each other. “I could spend all day just looking into your eyes,” she says, a boom and mic hovering overhead. A camera pans their torsos, capturing wandering hands. Bonnie, 70, strokes Joel’s long, white mane, which has been pulled into a low ponytail. Joel, 69, runs his fingers through her closely cropped silver hair.
The kissing begins, with pointed pauses for eye contact, face nuzzling, and laughter—but then Bonnie pulls back. “I’m uncomfortable,” she says as a straightforward statement of fact. “First of all, I’m too hot.” Bonnie slowly shrugs a pink cotton robe off her shoulders, revealing a black lace bra from Target, and shifts her position. She has fibromyalgia and her back has been acting up today.
The camera keeps rolling because this is exactly what the film crew is here to capture: two people navigating the vicissitudes of sex and aging.
This film, Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex , co-directed by adult performer jessica drake, who uses the lower-case, and Joan Price, author of Naked At Our Age , will feature hardcore footage alongside narrated tutorials. It’s the latest entry in adult film studio Wicked Pictures’ line of X-rated educational videos, and it comes at a time when headlines frequently highlight the rising rates of sexually transmitted infections among seniors. Naturally, there will be a safer sex component. But, mostly, Price and drake want to show seniors that sex can still be hot and satisfying, even it’s necessarily different than it used to be.
“That’s better, that’s better,” says Bonnie, once her robe is off. The pair were “lovers” in college and only reconnected 11 years ago, thanks to the internet. They start kissing again. “I love your lips,” says Joel. She replies, mischievously, “Both sets.” With their foreheads pressed together, Bonnie offers up a “ meowr ” before laughing at herself. Joel, wearing a black tank top with a suede string that laces up the neck, “ meowrs ” right back and tugs at a handful of her hair. “Be careful with the hair pulling today,” she says. “Just, very gentle. I like it, but not too hard right now.”
Before long, Bonnie pulls back again to suggest another change, but this time it isn’t driven by physical discomfort. She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. Then she says archly, “I think my pussy needs some attention.”
Bonnie’s black crotchless panties are taken off, pillows are propped behind her back, and a range of sex toys are deployed—all of them brought from home in North Carolina. The couple carried them here in a weathered jumbo Ziplock baggie, the kind
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