Randy Pantyhose

Randy Pantyhose




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Randy Pantyhose
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Nude-colored pantyhose are making a run back onto the fashion scene.
Thank the fashion truism: Everything old is new again. If it goes out of style, keep it a couple decades and it will be back in style again.
Thank Kate Middleton, who has boosted the nylon image, appearing from the shadows looking splendid in an elegant dress with sheer, nude hose adorning her flawless legs.
Instead of trying to fight the trend, we decided to join it — stretching our comfort level by wearing nude pantyhose for a day — and living to tell about it.
Amanda Kingsbury, content strategist
I begged my mom to let me wear pantyhose to church when I was in fourth grade. I wore them with a summer dress and a pair of clogs and felt so grown up.
They were “suntan.” They made me look as if I’d tinted my legs with barbecue sauce.
My 10-year-old best friend taught me how to stop a run using nail polish. Many days at school, I walked around in pantyhose dotted with pink polish.
I called them “nylons” because I thought it sounded more elegant.
I was impressed when I recently put on my $8.75 Hue sheer hosiery in “Natural” because they actually looked natural. However, they gave me a wedgie and the control-top waistband kept rolling beneath my belly button.
When my co-workers and I went shopping at Carson’s at Circle Centre, I cringed at the knee-high pantyhose. My grandmother’s friends used to wear those — with skirts.
My mom tells a funny story about how my Great-Aunt Letha drank too much at a wedding, and my mom and Great Aunt Ruby had to get her undressed at the end of the night. That’s when they realized she was wearing her underwear over her pantyhose. Apparently Letha had too much to drink before the wedding, too.
I was liberated from pantyhose for 20 years when I moved to Phoenix in 1994. Now I look at my 44-year-old legs and think, hmmm....
If you want a good laugh , Google “vintage pantyhose ads.” I found one from the 1970s of a slender blond sitting at a cafe table, wearing only pantyhose while eating a huge ice cream sundae. (Her arm was strategically placed in this side-view photo.) After you put on the old feedbag, you’ll be glad you’re wearing Slim & Slender Control-Top Pantyhose , the copy read.
I was 12 years old when I talked my mom into letting me wear nylons. As the oldest child in the family, I was the daughter who charted new territory for my younger sisters. (Oh. Hey, Barb, Susie, Janie and Carolyn: I don’t believe you ever thanked me).
I was introduced to hosiery complete with a garter belt to secure the stockings. Yep. Pantyhose had not yet made their debut.
Packaged individually , the single nylon stockings had to be held in place. If you didn’t wear a garter belt, you wore a girdle with suspender clips that held up the stockings. For you younger gals, “girdle” was the precursor to Spanx. For you guys, a girdle/Spanx is an undergarment that feels as though you have been swallowed by a boa constrictor. For the record, I never owned a girdle.
Hosiery was not cheap , so it was smartest and most economical for me to purchase the same color of stockings. I remember always buying the “beige” shade from G.C. Murphy’s. If I had a run in one of the stockings, I could easily open another identical package and pull out one leg of hosiery and be ready to go. (Come to think of it, I probably shared this idea with my sisters. So again girls, you’re welcome!)
In my younger days, my sophisticated self sometimes purchased seamed stockings. Elegance and sex all wrapped into one. However, keeping those seams straight was more difficult than you might imagine. And they demanded to be worn with high heels. But you could certainly rock that little black dress when you put this package together.
I smiled when The Star moved our office to a new location. While cleaning out my old desk I came across a pair of packaged pantyhose I kept in case of an emergency. This was a throwback to when hosiery was a MUST as appropriate office attire. (My grandkids would call this a TBT, take a picture, hashtag it, and post it on social media. Who says I’m not in the know?)
My Great-Grandma Dugan always wore thigh-high nylons that were held up by some type of an elastic band. She wore them every day. She didn’t work outside the home. I was always curious why she put on nylons when she was not leaving the house. I think it may have been a modesty factor, and she wanted her legs covered.
To bare or not to bare? I don’t have to dwell on this question. At my age, appearance easily outweighs even a minor inconvenience or a little discomfort. I don’t wear them often but I do wear them. They camouflage spider veins and uneven skin tone.
As I shopped for stockings with my colleagues I was surprised at such a limited selection. I then wondered if pantyhose were going in the same direction as the slips that I grew up wearing with all of my dresses. Today when I shop for a dress and think it is sheer enough it might need a slip I wonder if my granddaughters would even know what a slip is. Sigh...
Kim Mitchell, executive administrative assistant
Most parents come up with a rite of passage timeline for their children. I was thrilled to wear my first pair of pantyhose in the third grade for my band concert. My excitement was short-lived. I went to school the next day in knee socks and ponytails.
Around the seventh grade I was able to wear pantyhose to church . A few black women wore white pantyhose, even if it didn’t go with their outfit. I never understood why.
My grandmother taught me how to properly put on pantyhose. She’d first put on a pair of white cotton gloves to prevent snagging and she would stretch them. She would roll one pantyhose leg down to the toe and carefully place her foot inside, then roll it up her leg.
In the ’90s, I coordinated my pantyhose color to my outfit. In the department store, you had a wide selection of options, just like greeting cards.
Pantyhose caused static cling. Since I didn’t like wearing slips, I had a can of Static Guard on my desk for everyone to borrow.
One warm summer day, I was retrieving information for work at the City-County Building. While walking down a hallway, my too-tiny pantyhose started rolling down my legs. Before I could adjust, they were on the floor. Embarrassing.
Has anyone caught their skirt in the back of their pantyhose? I’ve pulled a few skirts out of waistbands for women headed out of the restroom.
While traveling my favorite cousin always forgot to bring a pair of pantyhose. Inevitably, we’d have to stop at a drug store, making us late for many events. I’m so glad she doesn’t wear them anymore.
My Family Protocol Manual — Rule No. 10. When attending funerals, all women of a certain age are expected to wear “stockings,” preferably black. Someone always brings extras. Of course my favorite cousin always needed a pair.
Wearing pantyhose to work with my co-workers for the photo shoot was fine. My legs looked better because it hid imperfections. Unfortunately, it reminded me I couldn’t wear my sandals.
Jennifer Morlan, features content coach
My first memory about pantyhose was when my older cousin received a pair of L’egg’s — remember the 1970s egg-shaped containers — for Christmas. She SHRIEKED!
My worst pantyhose memory happened during a June outdoor wedding in suburban Chicago near Lake Michigan. The mosquitoes were horrible, and I had blood from the bites trickling down the inside of my pantyhose.
Do pantyhose makers create the sizing charts just to torment women? I’ve always had to buy a size larger than the confusing height/weight diagrams on the packages recommend.
I liked how the pantyhose I wore to work looked. I am fair skinned and the nylons were a nice, light color. Nothing like the “suntan” shade of my teens and 20s. They were also more sheer and light than I remembered. I chose a sandal-foot pair. There was a space to put your big toe and a separate opening for your other four toes — like flip-flops. But it felt like I had a toe wedgie all day, and I couldn’t wait to take them off.
Now I’m ready for tights. Nothing like a pair of tights, a skirt and a pair of boots.

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