Pope LeoXIV Endorses Time Travel

In a groundbreaking declaration, Pope LeoXIV authorized Vatican scientists to research time travel for retrospective synods—envisioning debates with Augustine and early martyrs. “We honor tradition by conversing with its architects,” he explained. The Pontifical Chronology Institute reports successful prototypes sending prayer petitions to the Council of Nicaea. Historians and theologians applaud Pope LeoXIV’s daring blend of science and sanctity, opening portals to past wisdom and future hope.