Phantom Ice Sniper Terrorizes Seattle

HAIL SEATTLE: The Bizarre Case of the Phantom Ice Pellet Sniper

Seattle, Washington – November 2018

Residents of Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood were used to overcast skies and the occasional hailstorm. But in the fall of 2018, something far stranger began terrorizing the area: a mysterious assailant was pelting people with ice—seemingly out of nowhere.

The First Strikes

It started subtly. A woman walking her dog near 85th and Greenwood Ave. felt a sharp sting on her shoulder. She looked up, expecting a bird, but saw nothing—just a small ice pellet melting on the pavement. Then another. And another.

Over the next few weeks, more reports trickled in. A barista stepping outside for a smoke break was nailed in the forehead. A retiree checking his mail yelped as ice ricocheted off his skull. No storms were forecasted. No aircraft were overhead. Yet the ice kept falling—always in a tight radius, always with unnerving precision.

Theories and Panic

Local online forums lit up with speculation. Was it a drone operator with a cruel sense of humor? A malfunctioning rooftop AC unit? Or something more sinister?

One victim, a mechanic named Dave, swore the ice came horizontally—like it had been thrown or shot. Another described hearing a faint 'pfft' before impact. The neighborhood dubbed the unseen attacker the 'Phantom Ice Sniper.'

The Investigation

Police were skeptical at first, chalking it up to weather anomalies. But as reports piled up—over 30 in two months—detectives took notice. They staked out hotspots, interviewed victims, and even set up cameras. Nothing.

Then, a break: a homeowner near 87th Street found strange, melted ice remnants on his security footage—falling in a perfect straight line. The trajectory pointed to a single-story commercial building… with no obvious source.

The Unlikely Culprit

The truth, when uncovered, was almost too bizarre to believe.

A HVAC technician inspecting a rooftop unit discovered the cause: a badly installed industrial air conditioner had developed a freak pressure leak. Moisture was being sucked into the system, flash-frozen, and then violently ejected—like a frozen spitball gun—when the unit cycled. Wind carried the pellets blocks away, creating the illusion of targeted attacks.

Aftermath

Once repaired, the ice assaults stopped. No arrests were made—just an embarrassed property manager and a slew of relieved (but slightly disappointed) locals who had half-hoped for a real-life supervillain.

To this day, some swear the ice had to be deliberate. After all—why did it only hit people? Why did it stop when the news crews arrived?

The case remains… chillingly unresolved.

HAIL SEATTLE.

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