Perfect Long Ass
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By Gregory Lawrence Published Sep 28, 2020
Suddenly have some free time? Plug in and play these immersive titles.
So. Um. Do you, like, have a bunch of random free time lately for reasons totally unrelated to a global pandemic or something like that? Cool, cool, me too. And one thing I've been using with all my free time is diving headfirst into video games (ok, let's be real, I was doing that before, too). If you've been waiting for an excuse to try some new titles and let yourself get lost, now is the time, friends. Now is the time to check out some of the longest video games ever made.
These ain't the types of games meant for speed-running. These are the types of video games to lose hours, days, whole friggin' weekends to. The types of games that promise open worlds, depth, customizability, and all kinds of nooks and crannies to get lost in. And don't worry, Animal Crossing stans -- "nooks" is absolutely a pun that will pay off later.
Here are, in all their glories, the best long video games to spend all kinds of time in.
If you want to rush things, which is definitely not the way of a Wild West cowboy or gravelly voiced protagonist Arthur Morgan, you can probably shoot and ride your way through the main story of Red Dead Redemption 2 in about 40-60 hours. That’s not a quick game by any means, but neither is it a “long-ass” game. So while the main story is certainly enjoyable, there’s much more to explore in the side content that can eat up a ton of your time, especially if you set your sights on getting yourself to 100% completion.
RDR2 is one of the very few games I’ve managed to 100%; even now, there’s still more content available to tackle in the online version of the game if you want to go for that Platinum Trophy. So while I may not have enjoyed every single second of plant collection, animal specimen hunting, round after round of dominoes, or the stylish execution of innocent Wild West bystanders, the journey was absolutely worth the 100+ hours put into this thing. Along the way, you’ll discover dinosaur bones, giant dead snakes, some rather haunting supernatural phenomena, and even an extraterrestrial visitor. You might just come across a Wild West version of Tesla and a semi-sentient robot, discover an all-white horse, or find yourself face to face with a man-eating gator.
There’s so much to discover in RDR2 that the game can easily consume big chunks of your time, but it’s also worth mentioning that the offline game offers limitless opportunities to hunt, fish, get drunk and roam around the West at your leisure, without being executed by a rival gang. That level of peace is pretty much priceless these days. - Dave Trumbore
How long can you play an open-ended game like Stardew Valley? Well, how much time and dedication do you have? This delightful “real life simulator” that’s got quite a bit in common with games like Animal Crossing and My Time at Portia sees the player taking over their grandfather’s farm and getting in the good graces of the local townsfolk. You can do all of that and get to endgame status in about 52 hours. But this farming, crafting, fighting, and romancing sim is so pure and wonderful that you may find yourself sticking around long after the main campaign is done, just because you can.
You have only to look online to see the impressive farms (and fiefdoms, really) that players have put together since the game’s 2016 release. One-person creator ConcernedApe has long been keeping up with both the community and the game’s patches and updates, giving continuing players more and more new material to work with. A big bonus in this game is the ability to co-op farm so that you can spend time collaborating with fellow players rather than trying to take it all on your own shoulders. That leads to some truly incredible layouts, efficiencies of production, and vast quantities of resources produced … but for many people, the high replay value lies in the relationships between your character and the citizens of the nearby town. With a variety of romance options, narrative arcs, and drastically different outcomes, the “visual novel” folks will want to pick up Stardew Valley again and again.
Whether you’ve always wanted to run your own farm, battle through endless mines and caves full of monsters, or just romance the ever-loving heart out of a diverse cast of characters (all while chilling out to some incredible music tracks), Stardew Valley is the videogame home away from home for you. - Dave Trumbore
This. Thing. Is. Long. Like, super long. Forget side quests, forget 100% completion outliers, DLCs, and replay value. Dragon Age: Inquisition will take the casual player well over 100 hours to complete while those looking to extract every spare bit of content here can easily notch 150 to 200 hours. It might even take you almost that long to finally figure out exactly how to gather materials and upgrade your armor and weapons sets thanks to an extensive and almost too-intricate crafting system.
Dragon Age: Origins and its many DLCs and expansions set the pace for the franchise’s excellent lore, long story campaigns, and dragon’s hoard of side quests. Dragon Age II walked that back a bit by dumbing down the strategy and tactics (not to mention its scaled-back visuals and scope). But then came Dragon Age: Inquisition, a curious overcorrection in the other direction that might scare off some of the more casual RPG players out there. Still, if you’re an experienced gamer, you can probably crank through the main story in 40-60 hours, but you’d be missing out on a ton of interesting lore, storytelling variety among your player character and their companions, and likely a bunch of crazy cosmetic options that will change everything from the mounts you ride to the armor you and your cohorts wear.
In other words, games like Dragon Age: Inquisition were built for the slow burn. There are in-game barriers that are there specifically to keep you from roaming all over the world willy nilly, mostly as character progression checks but also to make sure you fully explore the region you happen to be in at the moment. It is ridiculously easy to wander out of a beginning area without even knowing it and without fully exhausting all the opportunities there. So if you’re looking for a full-on fantasy RPG with epic action, a compelling story, and lore worth slowing down for, this is your champion. - Dave Trumbore
Long before The Witcher game franchise arrived on the scene, there was The Elder Scrolls. Hailing from Bethesda Game Studios, the Elder Scrolls franchise melds medieval worlds and imagery with fantasy elements. Since the release of the first game, The Elder Scrolls: Arena in 1994, there have been six sequel games as well as an online version of the game, a virtual pinball adaptation, and the announcement of at least one forthcoming sequel set for release in the near future.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is the most recent release in the franchise, arriving in 2015 for Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 with Nintendo Switch and PlayStation VR versions arriving in 2017. Skyrim is an action role-playing game utilizing first- or third-person perspective. Players can build their own characters, choosing from popular fantasy species like orcs, elves, anthropomorphic cats and lizards, or as regular ol’ humans. Your character can then move around the fictional open-world of Skyrim, where you must complete the first phase of the story before you’re allowed to wander around and continue to complete the main story or participate in side adventures. As is the case with the best fantasy games, Skyrim arrives at a point in the Elder Scrolls franchise where the world and its components feel very well fleshed-out, with tiny details like conversations with NPCs or items available to collect or interact with enriching the gameplay experience. Speaking as an avid fan of Skyrim, I can guarantee the hours will fly by as you play this game, be it the 33.5 hours needed to complete just the main story or the 200-plus hours to complete the game from the main story down to the tiniest sub-quest. - Allie Gemmill
There is plenty to love about one of Nintendo’s first and still uber-popular releases for the Switch and Wii U consoles, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. For some players, there is like a familiarity and nostalgia built in to playing the Nintendo release thanks to the long-running Zelda franchise. This is especially true if you were a fan of the 1986 Zelda game Legend of Zelda, a.k.a. The One That Started It All. But even if you’re a new player who has little to no history with the Zelda video game franchise and the name “Link” means zilch to you, you’re still going to love playing Breath of the Wild because it’s very much geared towards players of all skill levels.
Offering an open-world concept to players with one main story and numerous side adventures to get caught up in, Breath of the Wild is a supremely immersive game bearing zero resemblance to our own world, making it maybe the most soothing adventure game to play right now. You’ll be playing as Link, who has just woken up from a long sleep and must work to restore the mythical land of Hyrule to its former glory. It helps that this game is gorgeous to look at, with lots of soft colors filling out a game populated by tons of unique characters. Whether you choose to play the main story, which will take you about 50 hours to get through, or you opt to play both the main story and try to complete every unique side adventure and sub-task, which will run you around 182 hours total, Breath of the Wild is pure joy in video game form. - Allie Gemmill
If you’ve already played and loved Skyrim and are looking for something similar, check out Fallout 4. This action role-playing-game is set in an open world post-apocalyptic environment (timely!), but is so vast and diverse in terms of what you can do and where you can do it, it brings to mind the unending possibilities of Skyrim. The main story of Fallout 4 takes place in the year 2287, and you play a character who has just emerged from a long, deep cryo-slumber. You set out exploring the world to learn more about WTF has happened in the interim, and can spend your time helping defend factions, battling giant (legitimately scary) monsters, and crafting tools and weapons. This one is a ton of fun. - Adam Chitwood
If blowing things up is a little more your speed, may I humbly suggest Far Cry 5? Much like Skyrim, you don’t have to be familiar with previous titles in the series to have a blast with this one. It’s set against the backdrop of a religious fundamentalist uprising in modern day rural Montana, and you play a deputy who’s been dropped in to try and make some kind of peace. The first-person shooter takes place in an open world with three different regions to explore, and while you’ll quickly find that many side missions and explorations are re-skinned versions of the same thing, this game is still a lot of fun—especially if driving cars, helicopters, and planes while also laying waste to cultist property is your thing. - Adam Chitwood
Horizon Zero Dawn is easily the greatest video game with the worst title imaginable. An open world action game set in the centuries after an apocalypse in which a man-made defense network went rogue and populated the earth with vicious machines, Horizon casts you as Aloy, a shunned member of the Nora trying to earn her way back into the tribe. Obviously, the quest becomes much bigger than that, and Aloy strikes out to discover what exactly triggered the fall of humanity and whether or not the machines can be stopped for good. The sheer amount of different robotic creatures in the game is staggering, and the scale of some of them is mind-blowing (you’re going to see a gigantic Rodan-sized bird and a mechanical T-Rex, among other things). Plus, the lore that you uncover as you play through is one of the best, most original stories in modern video games. You’re going to find yourself exploring every nook and cranny of Horizon’s considerable map to find every secret, and it will be well worth the journey. Plus, there’s an excellent DLC expansion that adds a whole new chapter to the story, with a massive new area to explore and several new enemies and allies. The post-apocalyptic icing on the cake is that Horizon is in PlayStation’s Greatest Hits library, meaning you can get a copy for around $20. - Tom Reimann
Stabbing your way through antiquity has never felt as good as Assassin's Creed Odyssey. The series has been gradually moving away from the 3rd person stealth action game it began as to the point where Odyssey is a full-blown open world action RPG, where you can occasionally assassinate people, if you feel like it. Mostly it’s about traversing the entirety of ancient Greece, discovering hidden dungeons, leveling up your abilities, and getting into fights with mythological creatures. And I do mean the entirety of ancient Greece - the world in Assassin's Creed Odyssey is mind-bogglingly huge. You could spend 70 hours just sailing between the different islands and completing random side quests without ever touching the main story. Plus, as is tradition in the Assassin's Creed series, you’re going to have some fun run-ins with famous historical figures, like Socrates and Hippocrates. Ubisoft continues to support the game even now, two years after its launch, so there’s a wealth of additional content including new abilities and an entirely new story chapter about the lost city of Atlantis. Odyssey could quite possibly keep you busy for the next several years, and it’s such a welcome and rewarding distraction that you won’t really want to play anything else. - Tom Reimann
The way Sims talk will never not make me laugh. Known canonically as Simlish, it’s a delightfully optimistic, high-energy, fast-paced set of gibberish. And in times when human connection is in short supply, it feels good to see these doofy little humanoids chatter relentlessly at each other, all under your watchful eye. The Sims gives you the chance to play God -- but, like, in a fun way! You create a person, give them an abode, and let them interact with all kinds of other Sims. What kind of job will they have? Who will they fall in love with? Who will they get pixelated-nude in a hot tub with? How will their life go? Will you, uh, let them go to the bathroom? All of this, and more, is totally up to you. The Sims was originally released in 2000, and the further entries in the franchise continue to be replayable, immersive, accessible-yet-deep, absolutely astonishing video games. A piece of domestic joy with endless permutability. Or, as a Sim might say: Blursh! Meshaloob! Blursh!
I don’t know about y’all, but during these quarantine times, I really miss couch co-op video games. Online multiplayer is great, but there’s something about experiencing the same game in the same room with your homies that scratches my “what I love about video games and thensome” itch. However, during such curious times (i.e. a worldwide pandemic forcing self-quarantine, just as a random example), such experiences are unfortunately not tenable. But there is a long, peaceful game that can give you similar vibes: Animal Crossing: New Horizons. If you’re unfamiliar with the Animal Crossing universe, our own Allie Gemmill gave an overview of its particular pleasures and beginnings. Suffice it to say -- not much happens in Animal Crossing. You take a loan from Tom Nook, you create an abode, you try and pay Nook back by going fishing and, apparently, recreating movie scenes. The latest installment is currently taking the Switch by storm, in part, because you can invite your friends over on your own islands. You can create virtual couch co-op experiences. And you can, despite the distance, feel closer. It’s a deep, joyful, downright meditative experience -- and wouldn’t you know it, its soundtrack bops, too.
If you’re only familiar with The Witcher through the hit, hot Netflix series, and want to try the video game, I will warn you thusly: You’re gonna need to toss a lot of coins to your witcher, and that valley is quite o’ plenty. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is a vast, heavy, complicated, satisfying action RPG with moral ambiguity, room for exploration, and a truly rich soundtrack. You play, of course, very attractive silver fox daddy Geralt of Riva, a dang Witcher (monster hunter, but “Witcher” is way funner to say) who’s trying to find his adopted daughter before the vicious Wild Hunt finds her for its own nefarious purposes. But the game’s deep pleasures come not from staying strictly to this narrative path, but from exploring the wonderful open world, taking on intense side quests, interacting with each morally fluid side character, and just existing in this incredible fantasy world. And for you RPG grinders, there’s tons of skills, weapons, magic, and armor to level up, too.
Do you miss high school? Probably not, right? It was mostly full of heightened social anxiety with young folks struggling with heightened hormones while everyone tries to cram for tests, right? At least you didn’t have it as bad as the high school in Persona 5. The latest entry of the acclaimed, unique RPG franchise finds main character Joker transferring to a new high school, realizing he and a group of other students are superpowered vigilantes known as the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, and battling enemies called Shadows using physicalized manifestations of their inner psyches called Personas. The gameplay blends heavy RPG elements, dungeon-crawling-styled explorations, and in my favorite facets, social interaction components where you try and navigate your high school life with some semblance of normalcy. All of these huge ideas, gameplay shifts, and tonal trickery somehow blend together seamlessly, creating quite the unique gaming cocktail, one you will have an absolute blast playing and luxuriating in. It’s bursting at the seams with imagination, style, and huge home run swings -- and at the very least, it’s better than your average high school class.
One of my favorite ultra-specific video game subgenres is the “silly turn-based tactical RPG shooter.” The Worms franchise? Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle? I want it all, baby! And then, after hearing folks continuously compare these games to the XCOM franchise, I decided to check out its most recent entry, XCOM 2. And wowie zowie, was it a blast to the face -- the equivalent of being a contemporary horror film fan watching Night of the Living Dead for the first time and realizing where it all began. The game sings with choices at every level -- choices of weapons, choices of types of soldiers
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Perfect Long Ass