Young Teens Online

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Connecting with potential love interests online can be fun and exciting for young people but it can also come with potential risks. We explore what these risks are and what you and your teen should look out for to stay safe.
Are young people equipped to deal with risks of online dating?
For young people dating online isn’t just about using dating apps – it’s about how relationships develop on social media and through private messaging. Although most children today are tech-savvy, they may not be tech safe. It’s important to consider that although young people may have be able to navigate the latest apps with ease, they may not have built the resilience to deal with issues that come from building and managing online relationships.
Children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) and those that are vulnerable, may be more trusting and socially naive, therefore more at risk to understand the dangers when forming online relationships.
According to research from LSE: disabled children tend to have more digital skills but encounter more online risk and may lack peer support.
CEOP film highlights why it’s important to talk to children about sex, relationship and the internet
Here are ten tips to equip teens with the tools they need to make safer choices about who they interact with romantically online.
Who your children talk to are most likely other children, but some people may not be who they say they are or may be groomed by sexual predators. They may try to trick a young person into believing that they are trustworthy, that they are a friend or they may even pretend that they are the same age.
According to the NSPCC, more than 200,000 secondary school kids have been groomed online (2019 figure).
Advice: Not everyone they meet online will have the right intentions, so it’s important to discuss the risk surrounding online dating such as online grooming and also what signs to look out for to avoid putting themselves in unsafe situations.
Things you need to know about online grooming guide
If in the wrong hands, a sext, can perpetuate bullying, emotional abuse, revenge porn, harassment, embarrassment, low self-esteem, even depression.

Advice: Discuss tech dangers – sometimes teens are tempted to send nude photos and unfortunately, there have been cases where these pictures have become public.
Make sure they understand they have the right to say no and that anyone who cares about them should respect that. See our Sexting advice hub to learn more and get support on how to equip your child to make safer choices online.
Nude selfies: What parents and carers need to know
The more your teen explores the realm of romance online, they may experience unwelcome advances, sexually explicit pictures and general harassment via social media, chat forums and sites, dating apps or messaging services such as WhatsApp and Snapchat.
Advice: If you’re worried about someone your child is in contact with online, it’s important to report these concerns using the appropriate tools on the social media platform they are using. You can also find more information by visiting the CEOP.
It’s also important to note that some social media apps used location services to allows users to see each others locations to find potential matches. This could put young people at rsks if they are planning to meet someone that they have only connected with online. Having a conversation about potential risks that they could face and putting in palce safety rules are essential to keep them safe.
Why is online sexual harassment an issue for women and girls?
Step UP, Speak UP resource to help young people deal with online sexual harassment
Young people’s experiences of online sexual harassment
See report from Project deShame to learn more about teens experiences of online sexual harassment.
Keeping certain personal information private such as their location, address and where they attend school or college is important. Doing a search of their name could be a simple way of checking out what information is available about them. Children often share multiple social media handles on these apps, they can give strangers access to more personal information and intimate conversation.
Advice: Using the right privacy settings across all their social accounts and turning off locations services, can help them stay on top of what information is available for everyone to see.
Teens will tend to seek validation online so when it comes to dating, they may be more likely to do or say inappropriate things to gain acceptance with someone they may be in a relationship with.
Advice: To ensure they make safer choices, talk to them about a range of topics they may be exposed to while dating online like trust, sex and intimacy. This will help ensure they stay balanced when they come across things that may be incorrect or lead them to believe something that isn’t true.
If your teen is only seeking relationships online and neglating their offline relationships this may have a negative impact on their wellbeing. For example, a teen with a long-distance boyfriend in another area may decide not to attend social events, like a party because she wants to stay home to chat with her boyfriend online.
Due to the nature of the online world, young people can easily place a stronger emotional connection with online-only relationships at the expense of friends and family that they know in real life.

Advice: You should regularly check in with your teen to ensure they have a healthy balance between spending time online and offline. You could also remind your child of ways to connect with their peers offline – such as sport, dance and drama classes or other social activities.
See more articles and resources to keep children safe online
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When your teen goes online, where does she go and what does she do? The Internet makes information accessible in ways previous generations never imagined. Social networking has all but replaced the telephone as teens’ preferred way to communicate. And online videos are putting television programmers on alert in the quest for American teens’ attention.
The Internet is also a place where anyone can say anything, where knowing the difference between fact and fiction is harder than most teens or adults realize. For parents worried about their teenager’s possible substance abuse, online activity can seem as hazardous as a boozy, unsupervised party.
Online safety experts advise parents to stay on top their teens’ activities. Easier said than done. “As a parent, it’s very easy not to know what’s going on, especially if your kid is smart or creative about hiding things from you,” says John Rodolico, PhD, director of adolescent addictions training at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass.
Tracking teens’ online activities is even harder if parents feel lost in the online universe. This article explores teen Internet use, drug information they may find, and low and high-tech ways parents can watch out for their kids’ well being.
The Internet is the way most kids communicate with the world today. About 93% of kids aged 12 to 17 go online, with 73% of these teens using social media such as Facebook or MySpace, according to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project.
“The fact is, kids are online, and most of them are smarter than we realize.” Larry Magid, co-director of ConnectSafely.org, tells WebMD. Even if they want to, parents cannot effectively ban kids from using the Internet, and often there’s no good reason to do so.
Typically, teenagers use the Internet to be teenagers. Researchers at California State University reviewed teen blogs and chat groups and found what many experts suspected, that standard teen issues -- family, peers, romance, and identity -- constitute the bulk of the online discussions. Besides communicating, teens typically use the Internet to get news about current events; purchase books, clothing, or music; or get information about health, weight loss, and fitness.
Nonetheless, if a teenager is using drugs or leaning in that direction, the Internet provides ample reinforcement. A motivated teen can find a mountain of drug information online, including YouTube videos of teens tripping on cough medicine and information about drugs that defy standard urine tests.
A number of web sites (erowid.org, lycaeum.org, and dancesafe.org, to name a few) claim to provide a balanced picture of drug use. Some include “trip” or “experience” reports, in which individuals describe the highs they’ve achieved using recreational drugs. These sites could influence teens who are already using drugs and others looking to justify their decision to experiment with drugs.
“I have had kids insist vehemently that there is nothing wrong with marijuana and that you can’t become dependent on it because they found that information online,” says Rodolico. After 30 years of working with kids, Rodolico knows that trying to convince teens of nearly anything is a losing battle. “We can’t ban kids from the Internet, but in groups we do tell kids if they don’t want to relapse, they should stay away from those (drug reinforcing) sites,” he says.
With such online perils, tried and true parenting skills, such as letting children know you love them and setting clear, consistent guidelines, may be more important than ever. “Parents should be proactive and fold the Internet into engaged parental activity,” says Anne Collier, executive director of Net Family News Inc. Collier advises parents to talk to their kids regularly about their online activities: what sites they visit most often and if they ever see things that make them uneasy.
Parents can also use the Internet to help kids develop critical thinking skills. “There’s a difference between credible, reliable sources and those that aren’t,” says Magid. You may illustrate this point by sitting down with your child to compare drug information on a variety of sites. If your child pulls up a pro-drug site, have her compare the information to clubdrugs.gov, hosted by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, and www.drugfree.org, hosted by the Partnership at Drugfreee.org.
Lack of experience does not have to stop you. If your teen knows more than you do, and most teens do these days, you have a social media expert in your home. Ask him to show you the social networking ropes. If you do not have an account, ask your teen to help you set one up, preferably on the same network he frequents.
According to a recent survey, in households where both kids and parents have a Facebook account, one-third of parents got help from their kids in setting up their accounts. The vast majority (86%) of these parents are Facebook friends with their kids. Being your teen’s friend provides a window into what she and her friends are saying on her profile page. Some parents go a step further and have their teens give them their usernames and passwords. Given that 60% of teens report setting up controls to block certain content from their parent’s view, logging on as your child may give you a more complete picture.
Browser histories provide a record of the sites visited on that computer. Whether or not you monitor your teen’s browser history comes down to personal choice. Rodolico, who works with teen addicts, advises parents to “go ahead and monitor, as long as you monitor all of your kids’ activities, not just one.”
Meanwhile, Collier and Magid, who work with parents of non-addicted teens, warn of the pitfalls of online monitoring. “If you find something suspicious, you’ll need to talk to your child about it,” says Collier. If you’ve been monitoring your teen’s online history without her knowing, the discussion will likely go off topic. “It will turn into a conversation about trust, with your child feeling like you don’t trust her, and she can’t trust you.”
All three experts agree that kids can and do find workarounds to their parent’s investigative efforts. For instance, kids can easily clear a browser’s history, or even remove certain sites and leave others. Parents should therefore not get a false sense of security if their monitoring efforts turn up a squeaky clean slate. Monitoring your teen's online activities is a poor substitute for parent-child communications.
Different Internet browsers have slightly different ways of pulling up the history. Below are step-by-step guides for three of the most popular Internet browsers. If your child uses a different browser, go to the online support page for that program and search for “Browser History.”
A number of software programs are available to help parents keep a watchful eye on their kids’ online activities. Some, such as SafetyWeb and SocialShield, will send an alert to parents if language or photos in their child’s social networking activities signal possible trouble.
Keep in mind, your child can probably get around your monitoring efforts. Further, if you monitor without maintaining an open dialogue with your teenager, you may miss the opportunity to help him develop safe Internet skills that will serve him well, no matter what new technology comes along next.
WebMD Feature Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD on July 15, 2011
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: "Keeping Kids Safer on the Internet."
Palfrey, J. Born digital: Understanding the first generation of digital natives, Basic Books, 2010.
John Rodolico, PhD, director of adolescent addictions training, senior addictions consultant, McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate.
Larry Magid, co-director, ConnectSafely.org. 
Lenhart A. Pew Internet & American Life Project: Social Media and Young Adults. 2010. 
Subrahmanyam, K. Project MUSE - The Future of Children, 2008; vol 18: pp 119-146.
Subrahmanyam, K. Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace; April 2007; vol 1.
Wax, P. Pediatrics, 2002; vol 109: p e96.
Rosen, L. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 2008; vol 29: pp 459-471.
Anne Collier, executive director, Net Family News, Inc.
TRUSTe. "The Kids Are Alright*: A study of the privacy habits of parents and their teens on social networks."
© 2005 - 2021 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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