Peeing Standing Up
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Peeing Standing Up
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Girls pee standing up
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Learning to Pee Standing Up : One Woman’s Journey
Public peeing for people with penises is generally no big deal. There’s no sitting involved, no squatting; no dirty toilet seats to deal with and no pulling one’s pants down to one’s ankles. It’s pretty unfair, when you think about it. Jeeeez thanks a lot, anatomy!
But if the Malcolm in the Middle theme song taught us anything, it’s that life is unfaaaair. So, in an attempt to even out the playing peeing field for vagina-owners, a company called Stand Up has invented some nifty little contraptions that allow women to piddle without sitting — or, as Stand Up puts it, “boycott the squat” and “join the urination.” So clever.
The Stand Up system is a subscription service, meaning you pay monthly for however many packs you choose to be sent to you directly. (You can also choose a one-time purchase option.) Six dollars a month gets you a pack of six, which come in a triangular pink box resembling something you might use to transport a single slice of pizza big enough to feed one medium-sized bunny. Once you’re done using each Stand Up, you simply throw it away.
When my box arrived earlier this week, I scrutinized its packaging and the note attached. “Just remember to connect the entire brim of the Stand Up with your skin and push your hips forward until the Stand Up is almost vertical and pointing towards your target,” it read. “You’ll be peeing like a pro in no time!” I wasn’t so sure. It sounded… complex. Risky. Like I might end up peeing all over the floor… ugh.
But I was anxious to test it out. When the time came, I walked into my office bathroom (yes, I do this kind of thing at work) nervously clutching the Stand Up box, when it occurred to me that I might be better off using the handicap stall. I had no clue how much space this situation was about to take up.
I closed the stall door, rested the box of Stand Ups on the toilet paper holder, stood facing the toilet, and dropped trou — just as another woman walked into the bathroom. Suddenly super self conscious, I turned around so my feet were pointed towards the door as they normally would when a girl’s using the toilet. I started hating myself a little for how invested I was, but I couldn’t back out now.
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