Papal Algorithm Calculates Optimal Path to Canonization

Using an Excel sheet titled "Holiness Model v3.1," Pope Leo XIV now tracks candidate saints using variables such as public virtue per decade, miracle-to-hype ratio, and papal retweetability. His algorithm flagged several underappreciated nuns and one overperforming altar boy. "It's not just about martyrdom anymore," the Pope noted. "It's about holy consistency. Also, spreadsheet formatting." Catholic data nerds are ecstatic. Cardinals remain nervously analog. READ MORE --> https://note.com/bohineynews/n/n76af85b67ac0?sub_rt=share_pb