Orgasm Without Cum

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Can Men Orgasm Without Ejaculating?

We recently attended the biggest sex exhibition in the UK (as you do), to interview the pros and learn what we could from the extreme fringes of sexuality. Among the adult stars and frankly baffling array of sex toys, one thing caught our eye: a seminar called "Cumming without cumming".
Here, the gathered experts discussed the possibility for men to enjoy an orgasm without ejaculating. Yes, you read that right. No ejaculating – leading to the possibility of on-demand sexual highs that keep on, well, coming. Hell of a promise. It's an age-old tantric practice but there's also some proof that it's a real phenomenon (it's known as a 'dry orgasm' in medical circles ). Control, not denial, is the key (of course you can let yourself go eventually). To find out more, we spoke to leading sexologist Drew Lawson about how it's done.

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It might sound counter-intuitive, but learning to let go is key. It's an excess build-up of energy that creates ejaculation and the build-up of tension in the pelvis that causes the release. As Lawson explains, “Most men that I encounter in my work will come with a lot of bad habits in their nervous systems, created from doing the same thing over and again during masturbation and repeating the same mechanical movements during sex. Often it’s based around a lot of tensing [of] the body, the buttocks, the legs, the jaw. The first thing I say is some basics around relaxing, through movement, through breath, and through sounds — guys often carry a lot of shame around their sexuality so it causes them to not say or do a lot. Relax their bodies and muscles and attitudes which will open up the possibility of reprogramming their nervous system.”
Ladies might be encouraged to do their Kegels but it’s a little known fact that men have PC muscles too (they're the ones you use to stop yourself mid-pee). Before you can get down to separating your orgasm from your ejaculation you need to be able to contract these muscles, which will then allow you to flex them just before ejaculation, resulting in that all-hailed dry orgasm.
As Lawson explains, “having good muscular health is important but clenching comes from a misreading of Daoist practices. Kegels and PC muscles are good for men and women but clenching these muscles when you are on the brink of orgasm actually creates another layer of tension and inhibits your ability to come without coming. The primary thing guys need to do is to actually let go of clenching.”
Over-excitement is, paradoxically, the death knell of good sex. And when it comes to separating out orgasm and ejaculation, the trick is to hold right back. First job: knowing when your arousal peaks, then breathing out – and maybe pulling out slightly – until you feel yourself cooling down. “Deep exhalations are really important,” says Lawson. “If you have a longer exhalation than inhalation that calms the body. Being still – holding still for a few moments is really beneficial. Many guys think good sex means hard, fast repetitive thrusting but for women, that’s not that desirable.”
Instead of trying the classic Premiership League naming trick (you know, because nothing takes your mind of the act at hand like the mental image of Peter Crouch), touching the tongue on the roof of the mouth is a Daoist trick that Lawson recommends.

You can also use the pause as an opportunity to check in with your partner. Then start again when you’re sure you’ve calmed down. “There’s a script that a lot of women run,” says Drew. “The woman often wants the guy to come, it validates her attractiveness and performance, so get your partner to take the pressure off you in this regard. In the slowness there can be an energetic movement in both parties where women are more likely to have G-spot orgasms too.”
So what do you do when you feel that orgasm is imminent? “The key is to stay below 80%,” says Lawson. “If you’re on the cusp it’s a dangerous dance. At that point it’s really important to stay as relaxed as possible in your body. That said, even when we feel relaxed, there can still be tension in our bodies.”
Focus on the other person to help take attention away from yourself. Breathe deep into your belly rather than up in the chest. And as a last point, Daoist acupressure identifies a spot called the ‘million dollar point’ located in the centre of the perineum that you can touch on to try and encourage orgasm without ejaculation.
“The only issue,” says Lawson, “is that sometimes you end up with a retrograde ejaculation where the fluid is absorbed back into the bladder. It’s not harmful, but it is counter to the shift in positive, flowing energy you’re trying to achieve.” We're not entirely certain what that means, but it doesn't sound ideal.
Don’t expect to master it first time. Or even second or third time. And share with your partner what you are trying to do. She might need to stay off the Victoria’s Secret underwear, strip tease and her own Kegel moves until you’ve cracked it. Good luck.

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Written by Debjani Arora | Published : January 19, 2016 11:57 AM IST
The dry spell in women is quite common hormonal imbalances, age, menopause, pregnancy a number of factors can affect normal vaginal lubrication and lead to dryness. Most women might undergo painful intercourse due to this. In men, it is quite unheard off, but not impossible. Men can also suffer from dry orgasm at times when semen refuses to release, in spite of having a pulsating and pleasurable orgasm. Here is how a male orgasm works.
The answer is both yes and no. In younger men this can be passed off as a refractory period, when one experiences two orgasms close to each other. But in older men, this could indicate some trouble. Here are six reasons for pain during sex in men that you should know.
There are various factors for this sexual phenomenon, like:

Age: Teenagers and men in early twenties are more likely to experience dry orgasm if they have an active sexual life or masturbate frequently. Young men are more likely to recover soon from an orgasm and get ready to go for the act soon again. Like women, young men can also undergo multiple orgasms before the semen builds up in the testis. Sometimes it can take up to a day (in younger males) and experiencing more orgasms could mean a dry spell. However, this isn t particularly harmful to adolescents and young men. However, men in their 30s or 40s find it difficult to orgasm multiple times or recover from an orgasm quickly [1].

Medical problems: For men who are suffering from prostate problems surgery, treatment, radiotherapy dry orgasm can become frequent. This is because the seminal fluid goes backward into the urinary bladder, rather than coming out of the urethra. This is also called retrograde ejaculation. Here are signs of prostate cancer all men should know.
Physiological problems: A weak pelvic structure or a blocked valve in the bladder could also restrict the flow of semen out and make it travel backwards.

Should you worry about this problem?
This depends on how often you experience dry orgasm or retrograde ejaculation. Remember, if semen travels backwards quite often, it could affect conception, as it depletes sperm count. However, dry orgasm could also be a result of psychological trouble, sexual inadequacy triggered by performance anxiety or lack of interest in the partner. However, if you are suffering from dry orgasms, it is better to meet an expert, preferably an andrologist and get yourself evaluated.

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Sex Ed can be a complicated and embarrassing subject for horny, confused, acne-ridden hormone bombs known as “adolescents.” Alongside the legal difficulty of even being allowed to teach students about the Birds and the Bees, there is a boatload of misinformation — as well as completely glossed-over facts — that young adults are missing out on all across the country.
Take “dry orgasms” — a phenomenon in which a man orgasms but doesn’t ejaculate — and something this particular writer had never heard about until his editor told him to write about it for money. Imagine that! All huff but no stuff. All yell and no gel. All scream, no cream.
From a long night of sex to side effects from medication, there are actually quite a few reasons a man’s penis might skip the grand finale of its orgasm. So, WTF exactly is a dry orgasm and how worried should you be if it happens to you? We asked some sexperts to help us define this largely unknown phenomenon and quell our fears.
“There’s not a lot of research on this subject,” says social psychologist and human sexuality expert Dr. Justin Lehmiller, author of the forthcoming book, Tell Me What You Want.
“However there are a lot of reasons why men might experience dry orgasms," Lehmiller explains. "For example, among men who report experiences with multiple orgasms (i.e., when they have several orgasms in a short period of time), the quantity of semen released tends to decrease with each orgasm to the point where little or no semen may be released upon later orgasms." He adds that some men may experience what’s known as retrograde ejaculation, where their semen is "pushed into the bladder instead of being expelled from the body" when they orgasm. While some medications can cause retrograde ejaculation, an enlarged prostate or diabetes could also be the culprit.
One study investigated the impact of Silodosin — a urinary retention medication — on a double-blind crossover study of 50 guys to see how alpha1A-adrenoceptor antagonists like Silodosin affect ejaculation.
What the study found was that medicines like Silodosin can indeed cause abnormal ejaculation in which little to no semen is discharged. The big question is: should guys be worried about this? Well, yes and no.
The study also concluded that the sensation of semen passing through the urethra “may contribute to the subjective pleasure of orgasm,” meaning those experiencing dry orgasms aren’t necessarily getting the utmost enjoyment out of it.
“Dry orgasms are not harmful in and of themselves,” continues Dr. Lehmiller, “even when they result from retrograde ejaculation, the semen will just be released later during urination.”
Some guys out there (e.g. fuckboys ) might find relief that they don't have to worry about semen and all the side effects related to unprotected sex, like certain STIs and babies. (These men are idiots who should be using protection either way). However, for the men out there actually interested in procreation, a dry orgasm is the exact opposite of what they’re hoping to achieve during sex.
“This is obviously problematic for men who are trying to father children,” says Dr. Lehmiller. "Persistent dry orgasms will make it difficult for a man to reproduce. So if you and your partner are trying to get pregnant and you have dry orgasms, it’d be worth seeing a fertility specialist for treatment. Even if fertility isn’t a concern, though, you may still want to get checked out by a doctor if this becomes a recurring issue to ensure there isn’t some underlying medical condition that needs to be treated.”
So what can a normal dude do to ensure his semen situation is as healthy as possible? Jamin Brahmbhatt , MD, Urologist Orlando Health weighs in:
“It’s hard to naturally up your semen production,” says Dr. Brahmbhatt, “plus if you are trying to match what’s in adult films — don’t waste your time — a lot of that is editing. The reality probably is that you are okay and just fine. Avoid supplements that advertise themselves as semen boosters since there is no good research backing the claims." You can also try waiting and not orgasming for awhile. "The longer you wait the more you are likely to see since the reserves are being filled up while you are abstaining,” Brahmbhatt adds.
Stressing about semen isn’t something guys should harp on — in fact, as long as you’re keeping a relatively healthy diet and not smoking, you’ll be fine. If you do experience a dry orgasm that isn’t the result of a marathon sex session or side effect from a medication, don’t be a hero — just go to the doctor.

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Well, men, wouldn’t it be great if you, like women, could have multiple orgasms ? Well, ta da! You can! All you have to do is learn how to have an orgasm without actually ejaculating. Since ejaculation follows the orgasm by one or two seconds, it feels essentially the same. Orgasm and ejaculation can be separated and controlled by following these three practices:
1. Controlled breathing.
2. Strengthening the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle.
3. The stop/start method.
1. Not only will long, deep and controlled breathing keep your mind off your genitals and its sensations, but it will also help you slow down your heartbeat when you’re about to orgasm. Start practicing on your own by taking long, deep breaths and then, counting to three, exhaling as slowly as you can. It’s best to do this through the nose since air passes even slower this way.
2. While making love , when you are coming close to orgasm, your breathing will naturally start to speed up as you become more and more excited. Simply inhale, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly (through the nose). Your body will become more relaxed and you will not ejaculate.
3. According to tantra, you can also control your breathing by “exchanging energy with your partner.” Keep your faces close together while you breathe in and she breathes out, and vice-versa.
4. If you feel you have to stop thrusting to delay ejaculation, then, by all means, stop, but keep your breathing rhythmic and slow. This will calm your body down quicker and you can resume the thrusting.
1, Since these are the muscles one uses to stop the flow of urine , start practicing by stopping urine at mid-stream. Start off just once during urination, then build up by stopping and going a few times.
2. Continue strengthening on your own by tightening the PC muscles several times a day and holding them for a few seconds each time. You’ll gradually build up the strength necessary to use those muscles to stop an orgasm.
3. Lift weights with your penis by giving yourself an erection, hanging a towel or wet washcloth over the end, and trying to lift.
4. Now for the love-making: clamp down on your PC muscles to stop yourself from ejaculating. Do this at the moment you feel an orgasm is about to occur (i.e., when you experience that familiar tingling sensation). You will orgasm without ejaculating, and as a result, stay hard.
1. Practice on your own by masturbating. Once you feel you are near ejaculating (AKA the point of no return), pull back until the feeling subsides, and then start again. This way you build up your PC muscles and desensitize yourself so that you can last longer.
2. Practice this same approach while having sex . When you feel you are approaching the point of no return, stop what you are doing until the urge subsides. Then start again and stop again when you feel you are approaching orgasm. It may take a few tries to identify the point of no return and to stop before you reach it.
3. Once you reach the first initial orgasm, don’t stop. Continue at a pace that is only intense enough to help keep you hard. This can take many times to find the correct pace. You can also tell your partner to slow down or you can get on top so that you can control your movements.
There are also a few things that can be done manually to help a man orgasm without ejaculating. Each of the following methods may result in the man losing part of his erection, but it can be recovered quickly so that he can continue. When the man communicates that he is about to come: 1. The woman can form a “tripod” with her thumb, index and middle fingers, which she places around the tip of his penis and squeezes until the orgasm passes and his body relaxes; 2. The woman can take the palm of her hand and press down on the tip of his penis; 3. The man or woman can grip onto the base of his penis and hold, again until the orgasm passes.
The ultimate goal here is for the man and woman to come together , multiple times, and, as a result, live happily ever after.
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