Male Anal G Spot
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Male Anal G Spot
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The prostate, a.k.a. the "male G-spot," is supposedly the source of mind-blowing orgasms. You just have to be brave enough to go looking for it.
For many cisgender men, the idea of someone touching their prostate —you know, that walnut-sized gland between the bladder and the penis—sounds about as appealing as getting a root canal. But if you can open your mind to the world of anal exploration, you might find that stimulating the prostate can bring new heights of sexual excitement and pleasure.
Prostate stimulation can be so pleasurable that some sexual health experts have dubbed the prostate the "male G-spot." "The 'male G-Spot' is the prostate and it's about two inches in the rectum toward the belly," explains Susan Milstein, Ph.D., a sex educator and professor in the Department of Health Enhancement, Exercise Science and Physical Education at the Rockville Campus of Montgomery College in Maryland. That's because the prostate contains a ton of nerve endings (in fact, there are almost as many nerve endings in the prostate as there are in the clitoris). "It really can open up a whole new avenue of pleasure for men if they are willing to try it," Milstein adds.
FYI, your sexual orientation has absolutely no bearing on whether prostate play is right for you. "Guys have to remember this: The sensations and experiences that feel good have nothing to do with your sexual orientation or gender," Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of b-Vibe, a line of innovative vibrating anal toys known for its rimming and weighted butt plugs, says in Men's Health Best. Sex. Ever . "There’s nothing inherently feminine about receiving anal stimulation and penetration. You get to decide what anal play means to you and how you feel about it. And when you can let go of the idea that a sexual act has to be done by a specific gender, you’ll discover some amazing opportunities."
Sales of prostate massagers have been on the rise in recent years. According to 2017 data from the pleasure product company HealthyAndActive, prostate massager sales had increased by 56% in the five years prior, particularly among straight men over the age of 45.
Men can even have prostate orgasms without stimulation to the penis. "The orgasm from your prostate is a full body orgasm, and you feel a tingly sensation all over," says Chris* (last name has been withheld for privacy reasons), a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles. "This is opposed to the more isolated and direct pleasure from a regular orgasm through masturbation or penetration. In general, a prostate orgasm requires more time to warm up and more energy. But it's totally worth it." See: what 10 people had to say about the differences between prostate and penile orgasms .
In order to ensure a comfortable and safe prostate massage experience, it's important to follow these steps.
If you're trying prostate massage by yourself, make sure your hands are clean and your nails are clipped short. (If you're trying it with a partner, check their digits for any hangnails.) Perhaps most importantly, "always use lube, as the anus does not self lubricate. If putting something in your rectum hurts, slow down and add more lube," says Chris. He recommends a syringe-like applicator called a lube shooter if you're uncomfortable applying lube with your fingers.
There’s always one big question newbies have when it comes to anal exploration: What about poop? Valid question! After all, expelling feces is the primary purpose of the anus and rectum.
But here’s a little anatomy lesson: The rectum does not store feces. Feces transfers from the intestines and is pushed out through your rectum and then anus. This is important to remember, because a lot of folks have this idea that your poop is just sitting right inside your butthole. Untrue! You’re not going to “hit” a piece of poop if you start poking around up there.
That said, you may still feel more comfortable doing a quick wash beforehand. “Anal preparation is very personal, and folks have different opinions on it,” Sinclair says. There are two main ways you can clean out your rear end: douching using a little bulb, where you squeeze clean water into your behind, and using a hose that you can connect to your shower head and insert into your butt (often referred to as a shower enema).
Before going in, start with a gentle external massage on your perineum (also known as your grundle or taint ), which is located between the testicles and anus. The perineum is a highly sensitive yet often overlooked erogenous zone .
"Take some time on your own to get to know your body. Lay on your back with your butt under a pillow, tilting your hips up for easy access. Start with massaging your perineum with your hand or fingers. Apply lube to your finger and rub your anus externally to stimulate the nerve endings," says Chris.
If the external massage feels good, curve your (at this point, lubed-up) finger into your rectum towards your belly button. "Two or so inches in, you should be able to feel your prostate," says Chris.
It's important to note that you really don't have to go much further than that, particularly on your first try. "People think you need to shove a whole hand up there, but that's not how it works," says Milstein. "Insert one finger a few inches into your anus and push up toward the rear. Wiggle it around a bit, tap the inner walls, and apply different amounts of pressure to see what feels good to you."
If you’re worried about getting “messy,” so to speak, then go ahead and try it in the shower. Still, you’ll want to use plenty of lube. "Silicone lube is one of the best lubes for anal because it contains dimethicone, dimethiconol, and cyclomethicone," Alicia Sinclair, founder of the sex toy brand b-Vibe, previously told Men’s Health . "This creates a consistency that is thicker and more 'buttery' than water-based lubes. Most people find that they prefer a thicker lubricant for anal play because it gives some extra cushion to protect delicate body parts."
The additional thickness means you won’t have to reapply it constantly, the way you’ll likely have to with a water-based lube.
It’s not going to be comfortable if you attempt prostate stimulation without being turned on. When you’re turned on, your body will work with you, as opposed to against you. You’ll be more relaxed or “looser” and less likely to clench. That’s why it’s good to pull up your favorite porn site, and maybe even masturbate regularly a little before you go ahead and stick a finger up your behind.
Just like how you walk before you run, you insert fingers before inserting anything else of substantial size up your or your partner’s bum. Slow and steady wins the race here. There is absolutely no reason to rush, and it’s not a competition, either. Take only what you can take. This isn’t a “push through the pain” situation. This is an “if it hurts, stop, slow down, and go back to something tinier” situation.
“Breathing is foundational for anal, prostate, and pelvic floor play,” explains Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai, Pelvic PT, certified sexuality counselor and founder of YouSeeLogic .
If you hold your breath the entire time, a few things can happen, Dr. UC warns. First, your body is tricked into the "fight or flight" response. “Basically, it thinks you are being chased by a bear, and that is not the physiological response you want to have during anal play,” she says. You don’t want to clench your anus when your prostate is being stimulated; you want it relaxed so you can easily “take” what’s being inserted inside of you.
“Second, your muscles hold way more tension when you hold your breath, which isn't the goal because you want your pelvic floor to move with ease,” Dr. UC says.
Thus, she recommends experimenting with your breath. “Start with slow and intentional diaphragmatic breathing (inhale as you allow your belly and pelvic floor to expand while keeping your chest still; then exhale and everything returns back to baseline),” she says. Take three seconds to inhale and three seconds to exhale. Do this on your side, back, hands and knees, and reclined. “If you pay attention, you will notice your pelvic floor behave in different ways with your breath,” she says.
Before exploring prostate massagers, you might want to start with a butt plug to get used to the ideas, such as the Nu Sensuelle Remote Control 15-function Vibrating Mini Butt Plug . Proper prostate massagers are designed differently in order to reach the male G-spot—the prostate.
"You always want to buy one with a tail or a wide base that it doesn't get lost up there. You don't want to end up in the 'Butt Bin' at the ER where they keep objects found in people's rectums," jokes Milstein. That said, if you're interested, here are 5 surprisingly common penis injuries that can land you in the ER. (Note: When you’re using a toy, it’s necessary to use water-based lubes, otherwise you can permanently damage or destroy the toy.)
Unless you’re extremely flexible, it’s a little bit awkward stimulating yourself. It’s by no means impossible, but it can be tough to relax while you're bent like a pretzel. That’s why it’s a good idea to have your partner help you out. It also feels much better! When someone else is doing the work for you, you can focus on your breathing, the sensation, and everything else happening to your body.
How To Find And Stimulate The Male G-Spot
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If you’ve trained yourself to be more of a giver than a receiver, then it’s highly likely that your partner applauds your dedication to her pleasure. But while being a selfless lover often ensures your other half's happiness – both in and outside of the bedroom – knowing your own erotic triggers and zones is crucial, too. Why? As much as she enjoys your attention to detail, endurance and curious, ambitious nature to improve your sexual repertoire, she also wants to make sure you’re satisfied, too.
You probably have your go-to blow job requests and certain sexual positions that really turn you on, but have you ever ventured into an unknown zone that you may never have considered, well, erotic? Trust us, once you allow yourself to explore your own G-spot, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of before. Men can (and should) encourage their female partners to stimulate their down-there region. From using hands and toys to lubricants , here are all the ways to find and stimulate the male G-spot… tonight?
Everyone has a G-spot, male and female alike. An easy way to think about it is to consider those goosebumps you get on your skin when you’re surprised, a cool air runs through or you get scared. While uncomfortable at first, the sensation itself is enjoyable if you embrace the unfamiliar territory. Those goosebumps come from a shift in your nerve endings, and when you target the G-spot, you’re putting pressure on your most sensitive body part. Sexpert Coleen Singer explains that a German gynecologist named Ernst Gräfenberg was the first to discuss this area, and thus, it’s named after him. This wasn’t until 1950 – so if you’re still getting on the bandwagon, you’re likely not alone. “It is commonly thought that a greater concentration of nerve endings are contained in both male and female G-spots which, when stimulated properly, can lead to intense orgasms in both genders,” Singer says.
There are many ways to ignite the pleasure of the male G-spot (more on that, erm, below) but first, you need to know where it is. Singer explains that you might be surprised to discover this special place is actually located inside of the male prostate. “It’s a gland about the size of a walnut, and it’s located right under a man’s bladder,” she says.
When you start to seek it out, proceed with caution and don’t go too hard, too fast. “The prostate is located behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter). Be careful – the prostate is very sensitive. Do not poke and prod, but instead caress and stroke. Press gently. Use feather-light touches,” Michael Alvear, founder of CallMeMaybe.us , says. “You’re looking for a walnut-sized fleshy ball hiding behind the anal wall. Finding it is a little like playing hide-and-seek, only you’re using your finger rather than your eyes."
When you discuss a woman’s G-spot, you’re likely on a mission to not only find the sucker, but to work your best at pushing her to the brink of an orgasm. Every woman reacts differently to their G-spot being stimulated – some might find it incredibly intense to the point where it’s not comfortable, while others encourage their partners to go there as often (and as thoroughly) as they can. A male’s G-spot is pretty similar, and Singer notes that there is little scientific evidence to suggest much difference between either sex.
“The female G-spot is a sensitive area of the anterior wall of the vagina believed to be highly erogenous and capable of ejaculation. Also referred to as the 'Skene's gland' and the 'urethral sponge', the 'female prostate' is an accepted term. The male prostate is biologically homologous to the Skene's gland and has been unofficially called the male G-spot because it can also be used as an erogenous zone,” Singer explains. “So, although very little scientific consensus exists on exactly what the female versus male G-spots actually are, they are similar in many regards, most importantly in that stimulation of both can lead to explosive orgasms for both men and women.”
Just as you appreciate when your partner takes the time to direct you around her body, your female counterpart will enjoy the process of practicing something new on you that will make your orgasms and thus, your sex life, even hotter. Plus: there’s something incredibly sexy and empowering about being unafraid to change the way you get to your personal finish line. Masturbating has long been thought of as a way to not only relieve stress and tension as a solo act, but lead to a more fulfilling sexual intercourse experience due to your ability to maintain endurance and better understand how to turn yourself on. The same goes for the G-spot: Why not add another layer of expertise to your already-overflowing sexual database?
“Stimulating the male G-spot can be an intensely empowering experience, whether for a man doing it himself or a woman giving him a ‘helping hand.’ Sometimes the greatest pleasures are the ones we deny ourselves, and the male G-spot is the forbidden fruit of a man’s erogenous zones,” Singer says. “If you haven’t explored that part of your own anatomy – maybe you’re used to being on top – it might be taboo and a bit freaky. And that’s what makes it so hot!
In addition to benefiting your overall experience under the sheets, massaging and stimulating your G-spot can also help relieve other troubles you could be experiencing. As an example? If you struggle with rising to the, erm , challenge and you haven’t been able to find anything that works to maintain your sail, try targeting your attention to the G-spot. “If you’re both in the mood but he has some performance problems, try massaging his prostate. You might find that sexual arousal from G-spot stimulation helps him to relax and get an erection ,” Singer notes.
If you’re still a bit freaked out by exploring past your typical stroking-one-out, then start small. And by small, we mean by simply using your own fingers after you shower to find your area. “The easiest way to stimulate the male G-spot is to press gently on the skin between his balls and anus, known as the perineum (or, the taint). You can do this by yourself when masturbating,” Singer explains.
If you’d like your girlfriend to help you take that initial plunge into the G-spot unknown, get her to stimulate it while you’re having sex. As Singer details, “Your partner can massage this area during sex or apply rhythmic pressure with her fingers to add to your pleasure. Giving this spot extra attention right before you climax will add some mind-blowing intensity to your orgasm.”
To no fault of their own – and as no sign that they can’t enjoy G-spot orgasms – some men might not be able to reach their own prostate, simply because their fingers aren’t long enough or because their prostate sits higher. Alvear says: “The prostate lies 2 to 4 inches into your rectum (towards your belly button). If your prostate is positioned higher than average and/or your fingers are shorter than average, it can get a little tricky.”
If this is the case for you (or even if you just want to use toys rather than your fingers), it's time to go shopping. There's no need to be coy. Take a look online, where many goodies for your sex toolbox are waiting. In this case, you need to opt for toys that can give you the extra reach back into your G-spot that you (or your partner) can’t reach on your own. Depending on your flavour, preference and kink level, use one of these vibes to get your party started:
So let's say you're a beginner at this whole G-spot thing and you're a bit nervous. Just like when you have sex for the first time, learning the ropes is part of the process and it's normal to be a little puzzled about how to start your intimate play. That's why this kit for novices is a great buy. It includes a bubble plug with ripples (so you can control the level of insertion), a multi-speed stimulator, and a good old fashioned silicone anal probe. £26.05 at Amazon
This toy makes getting down to business as easy as a push of a button – quite literally. There's a pointed tip so it's easy to insert, which means you can ease your way into this new sensation, with 10 different vibrating functions. And with its remote, you can give the control to your partner when you’re ready to pass over
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