Joe Cardona's Cosmic Football Snap

Title: The Longest Snap

Joe Cardona had always been reliable. As the long snapper for the New England Patriots, his job was simple: get the ball where it needed to go, quickly and accurately. For years, he had done just that—game after game, snap after snap. But on one fateful night in December, everything changed.

It was Monday Night Football, Patriots vs. Bills, in the middle of a brutal snowstorm. The wind howled, the field was slick, and visibility was near zero. With seconds left in the fourth quarter, the Patriots were down by two, lining up for a game-winning field goal attempt.

As Cardona knelt in the snow, he felt an unusual pressure. This snap had to be perfect. The holder, the kicker—everyone was counting on him. The referee blew the whistle, and Cardona launched the ball back with his usual precision.

But then—something strange happened.

The ball never came down.

It spiraled through the snow… and kept going. And going. And going.

The crowd gasped. The cameras panned upward, but the ball had vanished into the blizzard. The referees huddled, confused. Had it been blocked? Had it been caught by some invisible force?

Then, from the end zone, a voice crackled over the stadium speakers:

'Touchdown… Mars.'

Silence. Then chaos.

Scientists later confirmed the impossible—Joe Cardona’s snap had been so perfect, so aerodynamic, that it had broken free of Earth’s atmosphere, sailing through space until it was miraculously caught by a rover on the Martian surface. NASA released a statement calling it 'the most accurate throw in human history.'

The NFL had no choice but to rule it a 'cosmic completion.' The Patriots were awarded six points on the grounds that Mars, technically, was undefended territory. The Bills protested, but the league stood by the ruling, adding a new clause to the rulebook: 'Any ball leaving Earth’s atmosphere and landing on another celestial body shall be considered a live-ball touchdown.'

Joe Cardona became an overnight legend—not just as a football player, but as humanity’s first interplanetary quarterback. His jersey was displayed in the Smithsonian, and Elon Musk offered him a job as 'Chief Snapping Officer' for SpaceX.

And from that day on, every time the Patriots lined up for a field goal, opposing teams would look up at the sky… and pray.

The End.

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