Learn about it. Talk about it.
“I never told anyone about the incest for many years. My abuser told me I would "ruin our family, and his reputation (did that himself), and made threats. When I finally told my story in a big way many years later, I discovered that so many of the little girls I grew up around, had also been victims. We each thought we were the only ones. You are not alone.”
One-third of child sexual abuse is committed by a family member. It is time to put incest front and center.
One of the challenges in understanding the nature and scope of the incest problem is that research and recent data is hard to find. We know that rape is the most underreported violent crime in America. Although child sexual abuse statistics can vary widely, recent CDC research indicates that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys is sexually assaulted before the age of 18. 91% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child or their family knows. Clearly, the greatest danger to children is not strangers.
This website defines “incest” as the sexual abuse of a person by a family member or a primary caregiver such as a stepparent. RAINN notes that state laws on incest vary from state to state. A substantial amount of child sexual abuse is incest. DOJ statistics show that among cases of child sexual abuse reported to law enforcement, 34% are family members.
Experts believe that sexual abuse by a sibling is the least recognized form of incest and deserves further study. Finkelhor (1980) estimated that the rate of sibling incest may be as much as five times that of cases involving parents, but that statistic is forty years old, so more research needs to be done to confirm that figure.
Up until very recently, mother-child incest was considered to be virtually nonexistent. We now know that female perpetration is common but sometimes minimized or misunderstood. Females often co-offend with a coercive male partner and many (76% in one study) have been sexually victimized themselves. Data has shown that female perpetrators were reported in over one-quarter of assaults of males. Another study found that men experiencing sexual violence were actually more likely to report female rather than male perpetrators. Female perpetration of family members is a topic with insufficient research undertaken. It must be better studied if we hope to acknowledge and prevent it.
A surprising number of survivors do not disclose incest. Collins, Griffiths, Kumalo (2005) found that disclosure of sibling sexual abuse is relatively uncommon, with only 30% telling. Sperry and Gilbert (2015) found that child-on-child sexual abuse in general is rarely talked about, with fewer than 25% of victims telling an adult.
When children do tell an adult about incest, in many cases the abuse doesn’t stop; in one study of women, 52% of incest survivors who reported various forms of incest to a parent were still being abused one year later. In fact, Roesler and Wind (1994) found that female incest survivors disclosing as children were commonly met with disbelief or blame instead of protection, validation, and support.
Why should we be concerned by these statistics? The effects of incest are severe. The majority of survivors victimized by someone they know (79%) experience substantial harm that affects their work, school, and emotional state. For many incest survivors, sexual victimization continues in adulthood, as child abuse survivors are substantially more likely than non-survivors to be revictimized as adults. As ACE research shows, traumatic childhood events such as incest are closely linked to many physical and mental health problems, substance abuse, and education and job struggles. Survivors are 10 times more likely to attempt suicide than those who haven’t. (You can read more about the effects of incest here.)
Why is there such poor data on incest? The lack of good data may have to do with controversy in the 1990s, when researchers, practitioners, and the media were charged with encouraging the false reporting of incest, discouraging researchers from pursuing further study. Richard Kluft notes that since that time, “the study and treatment of incest has been under a cloud of suspicion that has impeded the advancement of knowledge about this devastating form of abuse. Scholars have backed away from even using the word, to the point that it has become difficult to research unless one searches under more bland and innocuous terms. Between the overall power of the incest taboo and scholars’ wish to avoid provoking acrimonious reactions to their work, the term ‘incest’ has been receding from the literature.”
It’s important to remember that, as the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault explains well, incest affects families from all walks of life and within the context of a wide variety of familial relationships. “Incest does not discriminate. It happens in families that are financially-privileged, as well as those of low socio-economic status. It happens to those of all racial and ethnic descent, and to those of all religious traditions.” RAINN says it well when they note that the very “people who were supposed to protect and care for (an incest survivor) may have caused harm or allowed the harm to continue.”
Updated February 2021 by Incest AWARE
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