How i started believing in God (3)

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I started trying to practice those things called "astral projection", however, i noticed all those techniques we see online were false. However, after the uses of Wachuma and Ayahuasca with relatively high-frequency, i began to adopt a sensibility in my meditations that was making me perceive certain interesting mechanisms of mind, and i was being able to interpret symbols better than i'm used to. This was the moment i also began to study symbols.

At that moment i began to make music making references to the spiritual and with use of symbols.

I noticed the spiritual was indeed here, it was not in another realm, the physical and spiritual are together, interlaced. And that instead of doing certain "fancy techniques" to "astral projection" or something, that in fact one can only know "where to look at and train one's sensibility to notice what was done because of the spiritual", and then you don't even need to use techniques, it becomes permanent in you, since you can simple notice the signals.

In an album i made a music with a name that talks about a sort of "second language" the world have to use to speak with us... That was a little before my big mescaline overdose.

The idea is that the world have two languages, one that we perceive as normal, and that everyone can understand. And another symbolic, which joins images, environment, sounds, words and etc in a "set" that speaks something in symbolic terms. The "time frame" you are now, joining all your senses, is like a poetical symbolic frame constructed by spiritual forces.

Also a double-speaking people have, like, someone say something that makes sense for the ambient and moment this one is on. However, it is also coincidentally like this that this person said was answering your, your thoughts, your moment, your doubts and / or warning you, without the person being aware of doing that.

And that sometimes demons can speak by the person double-speak, but in a sneak way that only you can understand, and so, the demon can hide itself from others, while exposing itself to you.

At this moment i was meditating daily with weed and music, i was feeling like i was improving in my spiritual sensibility.

It has been a while since i had not took Wachuma.

Also, we stopped going to that Ayahuasca place, we don't felt welcomed, the Ayahuasca was medium-weak, the preaching those guys had were bad, there was the moment i said previously of the son of one guy of the Ayahuasca session that was arguing with his father and his father seemed to be very rigid in the same way he would preach before giving Ayahuasca (which does not aligns with my experiences with love and forgiveness). Since this was the first place i went, i began to get suspect that other places might not be like that, especially after making researches and seeing how other temples had different attitudes.

Then i went two times on another place, but the Ayahuasca there was weaker. However, people there were more welcoming. The guy there even invited us to see the plant itself, the famous Chacrona.

At this moment i saw a guy that i had met when i was teen, which walked with the guys that introduced me to weed. However, i don't used to talk too much with this guy, and neither i knew he used psychedelics. At this moment we were waiting the bus to get us and leave us home, and he was adding tobacco to his pipe, while saying "i don't know, i think i learned everything i had to learn", then i said that knowledge is infinite, so that wouldn't be possible. And then he began to think about it.

My view is that the Ayahuasca was too weak, and since this is "the best he knows", then, he couldn't learn something more, and then i understand, that if you don't go beyond this level, this seems to be "all that you can learn about".

At this moment i was also stopping going to Ayahuasca temples, since, it was weak, i was being able to explore this world with Wachuma in my own way, i was not with too much money for a while and more.

Eventually, later, but not at this moment of the history, i found a good temple with a strong Ayahuasca that made me like Ayahuasca a lot. However, even then, i noticed the problem is a temple and not being able to do as i want, and to be stuck in a room only sitting down and meditating, instead of exploring all my senses, like, listening to EDM or Drone, giving a walk around the park and etc.

I also need to talk about my Salvia trips, that i began a little before all that history i told already. And because it was important to understand my mind, and also that it was prohibited a little later, and i could only buy it once (a big pack).

However, there is not much i remember, because, we used lot of times, it was long ago, i used only to record my experiences sometimes and in paper alone (and not all experiences).

But things i remember.

I once bough a lot of Salvia online, it was legal, so, who cares. It was not the extraction, so i think this was cheaper and came a lot.

At the first time, we tried rolling a joint with it, but that only burned our mouth, since, the smoke is hot and then we couldn't hold too much smoke. We noticed that people online says that a joint can't make you smoke enough and burns too hot.

So we tried a pipe, but, the same thing.

Then a friend of mine, L., have tools to cut and make holes in glasses. So he took an glass Coke bottle and made a bong out of it. He measured the hole to fit the pipe we tried to use.

I don't remember who smoked first, but, when we smoked... Oh my... We burst laughing, everything was super funny, we couldn't hold our laugh, our stomach was hurting.

We also noticed that every time we smoked, we would sweat a little, it was very intense. Then, iirc, T. told me that Tt. had told him that if you reach causal level of conscience, that you would sweat too, and that we might be reaching this level with Salvia (i don't agree with that anymore, since Salvia have pretty unique effects and i think when i reached such states of conscience with traditional psychedelics, it was very different).

Another moment i smoked with T. and we began to read the drawings and texts we wrote with a permanent marker on the bottle. We began to laugh a lot. I had wrote 1500kg over the 1500ml. However, me and friends, we always joked that the world "kg" was meant to be about weed, and i also had a nickname at this time about lot of grams of weed. I then looked at the tv that was on (we used to leave it on and muted all the time), and i still remember to see it very vividly, the Woodpecker episode where there is a circus, and then in one scene there was a guy on a mono-cycle balancing a staff on his head with two dwarfs on the tip of that staff. In that moment, while on Salvia, omg, that "killed me", i couldn't laugh anymore because my stomach was hurting a lot, and now i face another challenge, a funny joke while on Salvia, omg...

I found it, hahaha:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA-IpESbGCE&t=335s

However, the trips are not only like that.

There was a moment i smoked with A. and L. in my house. I had just smoked, and A. got the bong from my hand and went to the barbecue pit, and he said "i feel like i'm an old chemistry guy", and i looked at him, and my mind overlayed with a scene of a "chemistry guy" with a lab coat holding flasks (instead of the bong), and, even if i knew this was not true, in my mind it was like it was true, just like when you are in a dream, you know you are dreaming, but you still act like the dream is real. And i was then like, "ok, this is not the typical psychedelic".

There was a moment with T. that i smoked and i was looking at the TV color test (like i said, the TV used to be on at all time), and my vision diffracted like the rays of light, and made a feedback reflection of the TV extending in a diagonal direction, like a lens-flare. And then i felt i was stuck inside a glass dome, and i couldn't move, literally, i was trying to move my arms and legs and i couldn't move, it was kinda scary, but once i began to move again, i relaxed. But i noticed once again that this was a deliriant and not a psychedelic. And i was not having too intense learning about the spiritual, i was more of having a type of experience i can't even believe my brain could have.

This defines very well, i never had another experience like Salvia, neither sober, neither in a dream, it is very unique and bizarre, and you really can't believe it is true and possible. There is so much inside our head that can do so much stuff and we can't trigger it to happen. I think this was the best learning i had with Salvia, that our brain can do some sort of "impossible stuff".

It is important to note that Salvia acts in a "κ-opioid receptor", and not the typical Serotonin 5-HT_2A trip and that "Salvinorin A is the first documented diterpene hallucinogen". And i think it is indeed very different than other trips, even Changa (however, i only experimented it way way later), that i think it is as strong than Salvia, still is totally different than Salvia, because it is not a dream-like state of delirium, but a real very strong psychedelic.

T. also had a moment thinking his chair was floating and he was controlling it like a "bumper car". I also looked at the window, and it turned to be a medieval stone structure with an arc that would resemble the window; and even if it is overlayed over your vision and that you wouldn't be out of control, you still would see it like it was real, even knowing that it was not. This was very strange, it is like you are sleeping and awake at the same time.

I think, together with Changa, is the strongest thing i ever used. But way way different than Changa. But it is not a joke, i wouldn't advise to use for fun, it can be super funny, until not, however, i only had good trips with Salvia, and some memorable memories, haha... It makes me scared to think Brugmansia is a delirant, but even stronger and last the whole day. When i was teen and young adult, i used to think "i need to use Brugmansia (or alike) at least once in my life", and nowadays i think i may never want to use it... At least now i know what is a delirium and what it truly is, i can imagine now how some crazy catatonic schizophrenic people feel, they must be on such state (just in case, not all schizophrenic have such strong deliriums like Salvia, but maybe the catatonic ones).

If i remember more Salvia trips, i'm going to add here and / or in my article about "old memorable trips" i had.

W.I.P

[talk about that wachuma trip]

And it was me that saw the animals overlaid to me and friends' bodies, and also our "symbolic body", which is logical and "mathematical", and there is no way that symbols and the meanings and how it was on people have no meaning or is replicated, because, that is how those things are to be.

Way later i noticed all my faith and spiritual knowledge were immaculate and i believed from myself, not corrupted by pagans or other stuff like people accuse me of.

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