How To Ruin Your Orgasm

🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

How To Ruin Your Orgasm
Sandra studied nursing and sexual health and is named one of the world’s top 50 sexologists . She founded My Sex Toy Guide in 2016, where she and a team of experts write about relationships, LGBTQ topics, and other sexuality issues. She has been featured in Men's Health, Wedding Wire, InsideHook, ThriveGlobal, and more. Linkedin Profile
Latest posts by Sandra Larson ( see all )
Our articles may have affiliate links, and we may receive a small commission for purchases made through those links at no additional cost to you. Visit our Affiliate Disclosure page to learn more.
Copyright © 2022 My Sex Toy Guide. All Rights Reserved
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Reject
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
Let’s talk about how to ruin an orgasm!
Orgasms are the ultimate sex goal today. With no climax, many people feel less fulfilled, sometimes even depressed. Unsurprisingly, most people put in a lot of work to reach the big-O, while others can go through a whole lifetime without experiencing one.
But did you know many individuals enjoy a ruined orgasm? Yep, that’s the truth, and my husband Tim is of them!
For us, sex has always been a pleasure journey where orgasm isn’t necessarily the goal. It became even more apparent when we started with BDSM, especially orgasm control. Tim was surprised how much pleasure he received from me being in control of his orgasms, sometimes denying him one.
Let’s start with defining what a ruined orgasm is. Then you can read our step-by-step guide, and in the end, we present some tools for your ruined orgasm journey. Let’s go!
A ruined orgasm is a type of power play commonly found in the BDSM community. The dominatrix (yes, it’s most commonly a female) will make the male submissive very aroused and then suddenly back off. Hence he will only experience a low-quality orgasm or with almost no sensation. There’ll be no euphoric explosion whatsoever!
Ruined orgasms can accidentally occur as well. Many of us may have experienced it, especially when masturbating. For instance, I tried masturbating with a dildo when I was 18, but suddenly, my mom walked in on me, and I had to pretend I wasn’t doing anything under the sheets!
Through the years, we discovered adult toys have proven to be effective and safe. We have a vast collection of sex toys, for example, a Magic Wand, which we like to incorporate in our orgasm denial play. You’ll know more about our favorites later on.
Physically, a ruined orgasm is still an orgasm but not as intense or explosive as the real thing. There are no fireworks, and it can be uncomfortable, even painful for men.
A ruined orgasm can also be emotionally unpleasant, even humiliating. In BDSM, the sub has no control over their body, and though they want to cum, the dominant will ruin it, leaving him with blue balls or his cock throbbing. The master will distract, humiliate, or completely stop stimulating the sub to deny him physical pleasure.
In our case, Tim would often complain about it post-orgasm. I understand him because it’s a very frustrating feeling to have something within your reach and not get it.
Despite the frustrations brought about by ruined orgasms, there are still those who have a fetish for it. Some men, for instance, are into the tease-and-denial aspect of BDSM, while some want to be “pressured” or “tortured” into doing something to earn an intense orgasm. In fact, ruined orgasms is one of the most common kinks for guys .
Many of us have ruined an orgasm, accidentally or intentionally, for our partner. If done right, it can be fun, thrilling, and pleasurable though not in the usual way we know of.
Whether you just want to tease your man or experience ruining his orgasm, here are the things you and your partner must do before diving into this sexual activity.
Note: BDSM/Bondage are advanced sex acts, and you need to take great care when doing them. Any action you take upon the information on this website is strictly at your own risk, and we will not be liable for any losses, injuries, and damages. Learn more.
First and foremost, ruined orgasm is an advanced sex play that requires 100% consent from all involved parties. Not only in the beginning, but the master needs to continuously check in with the slave to make sure he’s ok at all times.
Trust and communication are essential, anything else is abuse, and that’s not tolerated!
We are cautious when doing BDSM, especially when adult toys are involved. I like it rough, but Tim has his preferences. For instance, he doesn’t want to be gagged during BDSM, so I don’t do this to him.
Defining boundaries and limits what you can and can’t do is absolutely necessary.
As far as a safe word is concerned, we use “red” since it’s easy to say and remember. You can also use colors, fruits, or any object, and there are also non-verbal safe words you can use, like dropping an item or clenching your fist.
Wearing lingerie is enough to make men crazy with desire. Leather is sexy, and the material speaks of strength and power. I also like lace lingerie in red and black, and they make me feel desirable, and the thin fabric gives Tim a sneak peek of my breasts and pussy. Read more about leather fetish here.
Sometimes my choice of lingerie depends on the kind of BDSM play we’ll have. For instance, if I play a nurse who caught her patient not taking his medicine and punishes him for it, I’ll wear white cotton undies underneath my nurse’s uniform.
I’m always up for extended foreplay. We enjoy long wet kisses and lots of touching. Whenever I’m in control, I start by kissing Tim’s lips, darting my tongue in and out of his mouth. After that, I will kiss his face, neck, chest, and tummy until my hands find his cock.
I also like giving my hubby a nice massage using his favorite oil. This pampering will also set him in the mood for something hardcore, and if I’m lucky, he’ll say yes to have a ruined orgasm.
Aside from a good old back rub, Tim loves getting a penis massage, and it’s a great way to make your man hard as a rock without causing ejaculation.
Now, remember it’s different from masturbating.
For example, I use a water-based lubricant to massage his cock by running my hand up and down the entire length of his manhood. I also stimulate his balls by gently stroking them with my hand or licking them. We sometimes use a Fleshlight which is very convenient for both of us.
Ruining your husband’s orgasm calls for creativity. Simply put, you need to develop different techniques that guarantee absolute pleasure in a way that’ll take him on the brink of orgasmic euphoria. My tested and proven strategy is penetration teasing.
I do it in the cowgirl position, so I have total control of the whole penetration aspect of our sex act. I guide his cock inside my pussy, start pumping away, and suddenly withdraw. Another is just to let the head of his cock inside my pussy.
A ruined orgasm will never work unless you know your partner’s body well. Hence you need to be observant. Learn your man’s body language, listen to him, and study his facial expressions when he’s about to release.
Once your guy shows signs he’s about to release his semen, i.e., the point of no return, you must stop stimulating him. Consequently, he’ll be releasing his sperm without much of the usual pleasure. Fun hihi!
The below sex toys can make ruining your man’s orgasm fun, exciting, and pleasurable. However, be advised that these toys can also pose hazards to your health when used improperly.
Make sure to clean your toy before using it and apply as much lubricant as needed. Once finished, wash and clean your toys and let them dry before storing them. It’s also vital that you read the instructions that go with your toy.
Another is to keep these toys away from the eyes and reach of your children!
If you’re looking for products for ruining your man’s orgasm, we swear by these adult must-haves:
Disclosure: This article has affiliate links, and we may receive a small commission for purchases made through those links at no additional cost to you. Learn more .
The cock ring is one of our bedroom staples for ruined orgasm play. This one from Lovehoney is our all-time favorite with its stretchy premium silicone material. We’ve used this in our hardcore sessions, and trust me, it never catches or snags. It slips easily down to the base of Tim’s cock, giving his member bigger, harder, and longer erections.
In the world of adult toys, Fleshlight is well-known. It’s the ultimate sex toy for men with its realistic masturbator product. What makes it a winner is it’s tighter and comes with stimulating textures. You can use it instead of your hands or let your boyfriend play with it when masturbating. Knowing Fleshlight, this toy will last you a lifetime!
Another staple is the lubricant. You should use lubricants with your toys, especially those you insert inside your body. We love using different kinds of lubricants, and one of our most commonly used is the Sliquid H2O from Lovehoney.
Anybody who’s a fan of BDSM knows that having a blindfold is a must. Whether you’re a beginner or a pro, this basic sex toy is more than enough to make you excited, curious, and horny. This one from Lovehoney has super soft and smooth satin and faux fur. It comes with elastic straps, so it stays in place when you move. It also works as an eye mask.
I like tying Tim to the bed with this quick and easy sex toy from Lovehoney. It comes with four fastening cuffs made of Velcro, and all I need is to put it under the mattress, then adjust the straps according to the desired length. The cuff straps are extendable up to four feet and two inches each, while you can extend the connecting strap to four feet.
I find “caging” Tim’s cock is an effective way to ruin his orgasm. This cock cage from Lovehoney can do the trick. The chastity device is made of solid steel with a spiral design with only half an inch for his balls to rest.
It has an open-ended design, letting me tease his cock’s head. Take note this cage is suitable only for experienced users and must be removed immediately after use.
You probably have a million questions about ruining your partner’s lost orgasm. Hence, we’ve come up with this section of frequently asked questions to understand better what you will be getting yourself into.
Thanks for reading my ruined orgasm beginner’s guide!
PS, please look around our site for more exciting articles, for example, our BDSM brat guide .

anal only lifestyle advocate - AO since 2010, DAO since 2020 · Author has 1.2K answers and 6.8M answer views · 2 y ·
What does a ruined orgasm feel like? And what’s the point?
How can I teach my girlfriend to give me a ruined orgasm?
I'm 15 and I can't ejaculate. I've tried everything, but as soon as I feel like I'm coming close nothing happens. I just stay horny. What should I do?
What was your worst time when you got an orgasm, or did you ever get an orgasm at school? Please answer, I am always so interested😍😊
I am 13 and want to feel an orgasm. What do I do to get wet?
What does a ruined orgasm feel like? And what’s the point?
How can I teach my girlfriend to give me a ruined orgasm?
I'm 15 and I can't ejaculate. I've tried everything, but as soon as I feel like I'm coming close nothing happens. I just stay horny. What should I do?
What was your worst time when you got an orgasm, or did you ever get an orgasm at school? Please answer, I am always so interested😍😊
I am 13 and want to feel an orgasm. What do I do to get wet?
When I masturbate, I get wet but never have an orgasm. How can I? I am a 13-year-old female.
What are some masturbation tips for a teenaged female?
My brother is 15 and he ejaculates a lot. Can he be a husband now?
I am 18 years old. I want to try different things in masturbation. How can I make myself cum without much jerking off?
As a girl, have you ever had an orgasm in public?
I heard my sister orgasm through the wall last night and it turned me on, is that okay?
How do I get a good feeling while masturbating? I’m a 13-year-old female. Also, how do I know if I am about to “squirt”?
I’m a teen and I accidentally ruined my orgasm. Will that cause any problems?
Have you ruined your boyfriend’s orgasm?
What does a ruined orgasm feel like? And what’s the point?
How can I teach my girlfriend to give me a ruined orgasm?
I'm 15 and I can't ejaculate. I've tried everything, but as soon as I feel like I'm coming close nothing happens. I just stay horny. What should I do?
What was your worst time when you got an orgasm, or did you ever get an orgasm at school? Please answer, I am always so interested😍😊
I am 13 and want to feel an orgasm. What do I do to get wet?
When I masturbate, I get wet but never have an orgasm. How can I? I am a 13-year-old female.
What are some masturbation tips for a teenaged female?
My brother is 15 and he ejaculates a lot. Can he be a husband now?
I am 18 years old. I want to try different things in masturbation. How can I make myself cum without much jerking off?
As a girl, have you ever had an orgasm in public?
Something went wrong. Wait a moment and try again.
Masturbate to the edge of orgasm. Instead of stopping right on the edge or continuing through like with a normal orgasm, get yourself just over the edge where the orgasm begins, and then stop all stimulation abruptly and let your body ride it out without touching yourself anymore.
The best ones I’ve had were when I haven’t orgasmed for a few days. I save my sperm up, then masturbate and edge. I get close to orgasm, then stop, let my penis throb, then start again. I do this until I get to the very edge of orgasm, then stop at the point of no return. my penis begins the orgasm and pumps my sperm out on it’s own, and I help it with muscle spasms and hip moves. My girl does this too, with masturbating until she is at the point of no return, then stops, and I can watch her pussy spasm and contract and clit throb.

Why Marvel's Karen Gillan Embraces Her Anxiety
Your New Must-Try: Sautéed Dandelion Toast
The Only Marathon Training Plan You'll Ever Need
Your June Horoscope: Communication Clarity
Yes, Anal Orgasms Are Real—Here’s How To Have One
How To Orgasm By Only Touching Your Nipples
11 Different Orgasms Everyone Should Have

This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

11 Ways To Have Better, Stronger Orgasms
'I Had My First Orgasm At 27—With A Vibrator'
Caroline Shannon-Karasik
Caroline Shannon-Karasik is a writer and mental health advocate based in Pittsburgh, PA.

Sabrina Talbert
Sabrina is an editorial assistant for Women’s Health.


This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
How Women Asked Their Partners To Get A Vasectomy
The 28 Best Butt Plugs To Experiment With Tonight
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
The Sexiest Plus-Size Lingerie Brands
These Are The 100 Sexiest Truth Or Dare Questions
You Don't Have To 'Prove' You're Bisexual
Sex Experts Swear By These Vibrators And Toys
14 Oral Sex Toys That Actually Feel Like A Tongue
These Vibrating Cock Rings Make Erections Stronger
These Massage Oils Will Upgrade Your Next Night In
What To Know About Cancer Zodiac Compatibility

Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in.

Why trust us?


Hint: It's kinda what it sounds like.
Once upon a time, the topic of orgasm was fairly run-of-the-mill. Basically, you do the sex, and you climax (fingers crossed!). But these days, orgasms are anything but ordinary and basic, with options ranging from forced to clitoral to skin orgasms . Also on the list? A ruined orgasm. That might sound confusing, but sex experts say it's the *lack* of orgasm that is exactly the goal.
"A ruined orgasm generally refers to an orgasm that is not particularly pleasurable," notes Jess O’Reilly , PhD, sexologist and ambassador for sexual wellness and sex toy brands We-Vibe , Womanizer , and Arcwave . But, she says, that doesn't mean a ruined orgasm can't be eroticized. For example, a ruined orgasm might allow participants to play with power dynamics and (loss of) control. This ties into the eroticization of emotions like humiliation, which can be an element of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, O'Reilly says.
Or, even if you're not into BDSM, this might be of interest to anyone who likes to engage in role-playing or themes including submission and domination, says Janet Brito , PhD, a clinical psychologist and sexologist in Honolulu.
Another potentially appealing aspect of the ruined orgasm? It does away with the socially dominant norm or expectation that you’re supposed to orgasm in one particular way, O'Reilly points out.
Ready to learn more and maybe even try it? Here are all the deets on a ruined orgasm, including why it's different than edging and how to achieve one yourself.
Meet the experts: Jess O’Reilly , PhD is a sexologist and ambassador for sexual wellness and sex toy brands We-Vibe , Womanizer , and Arcwave . Janet Brito , PhD, is a a clinical psychologist and sexologist in Honolulu. Donna Oriowo , PhD, LICSW, CST, LICSW is the owner and lead therapist of AnnodRight . Kate Balestrieri , PhD is a Licensed Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, PACT Therapist and Founder of Modern Intimacy, a group therapy practice in Los Angeles, Miami, NYC, Denver and Chicago.
A ruined orgasm is one that can lean on stop-and-start stimulation and teasing, and, in the case of BDSM practice , may involve a sexual act where the dominant partner provides enough stimulation to get the submissive partner to orgasm, but then stops, Brito says. A ruined orgasm may also include an interrupted orgasm.
O'Reilly agrees, offering the following scenario: "For example, if you usually stroke yourself right before or during orgasm to intensify pleasure, you may stop (or be told to stop) a few seconds early, so that you experience the muscular contractions (and perhaps ejaculation) that tend to accompany orgasm, but not the climactic pleasure."
Brito emphasizes that a ruined orgasm, or any power sex play, requires consent and for both partners to create guidelines, establish boundaries, and negotiate specifics before they begin to experiment.
While the name of the act itself doesn't sound pleasura
Cold Sore Blowjob
Melanie Moon Piss
Latex Housewife