How To Pick Up A Girl In A Club
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How To Pick Up A Girl In A Club
AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
© 2009-2021 The Art of Charm, Inc. All rights reserved.
Clubs are great. The music, the dancing and, of course, the girls. But a lot of men can leave feeling demoralized if they strike out consistently all night. We’ve all been there before. What you might not know, however, is that there are simple, straightforward ways to approach women and build attraction every time. Try this approach next time you’re figuring out how to pick up a girl at a club and see your batting average improve.
Attraction and picking up girls doesn’t begin when you first talk to her. It begins before that with your approach. In fact, your approach begins from the second she sees you. This is why you should always have a solid smile (with your whole face, not just your eyes) and good posture, both of which project friendliness and confidence.
When you do see a girl that you want to approach at a club, do it right away. Take a couple of seconds, man up and approach her with the most confident posture possible.
What to say after you approach a girl – how to pick up a girl at a club? We here at The Art of Charm are big believers in starting out with playful, content-free banter. Something jokey that opens up the conversation and gets her interested in talking to you more.
The trick here is not to get the girl at the club to fall in love with you based on the first thing that you say. You’re not looking for the perfect pickup line . On the contrary, you just want something that’s going to make her smile and get her interested in what you have to say next.
Remember to commit to whatever it is. Try and take the conversation to its silly extreme. It will get her smiling, get her interested and keep the conversation going.
Eventually, you’re going to have to get more serious. The best way to do that when you’re trying to pick up a girl at a club is to be very simple, but also very straightforward about it. Say something to her like “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you.”
Short, quick and to the point. That’s what you’re going for. If you want, throw in some compliment about anything other than her appearance (she already knows that you’re attracted to her, she wants to know that you’re also interested in who she is as a person) and you’re going to be good to go.
Once you’ve done that, you two can start getting to know each other better. The best way to do this is to use open-ended questions. This gives her room to talk as much or as little as she wants. For example, asking her what she does for a living has a very definite (and short) answer. On the other hand, asking her what she likes about what she does for a living, or what she would do if money were no object, is a much longer answer — one that keeps the conversational ball rolling and makes you look more interesting.
Here’s an inside tip that a lot of men are missing out on: Touch. Shoulders, upper back, arms and hands are all “safe” places that you can touch a woman. This creates a sense of intimacy between the two of you, and don’t be surprised if she starts touching you back.
…women who find you irresistible, who wanna hang out with you and are planning dates for you.
If you’re tired of getting rejected and chasing women then…
“AOC, ”The Art of Charm” and “Art of Charm School” are registered trademarks of The Art of Charm Inc.
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Take a Short Quiz and Learn What YOU Can Do to Seduce Women
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Want to know how to pick up girls at a club?
Everyone goes clubbing to hit on girls…and when you’re in a club that’s exactly what you see, guys hitting on girls…and some are quite successful! Yet you still ask yourself how they do it, there’s something they’re doing that you’re missing.
If you want to know how to successfully hit on girls in a club setting, you’ll love this article: I’ll explain what you need to know 😉
To pick up a girl at a club you have to be brazen about it. Actually, it’s important you have no shame in your game in any situation, but at the club it’s all the more important.
There are thousands of guys that go clubbing and approach girls without a tiny bit of courage. You want to avoid acting this way, at all costs.
A high energy setting calls for you to be more sure of yourself. And a nightclub is, after all, one of the most high energy settings you can find yourself in.
In a high energy setting it’s easy to ignore an approach that doesn’t garner attention: she’s already having fun with her friends and you bet she must have a better reason to leave that behind.
That’s why it’s crucial that you jump out of your shell and show that you’re really sure of yourself. That’s why shameless or even arrogant approaches work like a charm in clubs. Fortunately, getting into this frame of mind is easier than you think…challenge yourself, see how far you can push yourself, try to understand how far you can go to get some positive results. This curiosity and challenging spirit will help you give it your best shot.
Oh, we obviously have to make a distinction here: hitting on a girl on the dance floor and off the dance floor are two very different ballparks; the level of energy is different, the logistical situation is just as different.
On the dance floor, things are noticeably different than the “spoken approaches” of which yo have read on this site or other ones. Everything is based on your body language when you’re on the dance floor (for the most part…depending on your style).
Here are some ways you can approach a girl on the dance floor:
Some are better than others in different situations. Say a girl is looking at you (a female sign of interest ), the best thing to do is smile and extend your hand to invite her to dance.
Once your dancing, you can decide whether or not to kiss her on the dance floor or take her outside to do the deed; in any case, you’ll need to get her off the dance floor sooner or later, be it to get her number or take her to bed that very same night – which means you can’t neglect the conversation…so be ready and know what to talk about with her .
Off the dance floor, you have an ample selection of approaches you can use, especially if the music isn’t too loud. You can practically approach a girl in any manner, but the approaches that will work best are those in which you demonstrate that you’re sure of yourself while carrying them out.
After you’ve approached her and generated attraction, you have the possibility to move things faster: with the brief interpersonal distances involved (due to the music and crowding of the setting) and the opportunity to take her towards the dance floor you can create a progression of physical contact that can escalate quickly.
It’s up to you if you just want her number or end up in bed together the very same night (and no one is prohibiting you from doing either or both for that matter).
You’ve probably noticed that what I’ve described in the paragraphs above seem really easy and quick, especially in regards to the “normal” seduction process where you approach a girl and try to get to know her better taking things slowly. As a matter of fact, I would say if you don’t move things quickly in a club setting you’ll risk losing the girl altogether.
Obviously, always proceed after proper considerations.
Above all, the “rules” of seduction in general, can also be applied here, even though they may have to re-adapted. Which is to say that you’ll spend some time with girls trying to create a certain bond between the both of you, while with other girls you’ll quickly find yourself getting down to business. It depends on the situation. And your chances of succeeding depend on your ability to adapt yourself.
Ah, in case you were wondering: don’t use alcohol to get girls drunk …it won’t make things easier/faster and it’s quite dishonorable.
An important consideration on telephone numbers: telephone numbers that you get in a club, unless you’ve kissed the girl, are pretty inconsistent.
Which is to say that if you don’t take the first move by kissing and getting her number, the probability you’ll see her again are pretty slim.
Now that you know how to pick up girls at a club, it’s all about putting this knowledge into pratice. Remember that in this setting, quick, fun and bold seduction style works best.
And if you want some help to become more confident and attractive to women – so that you can better pick up girls at a club – this is perfect for you , give it a try.
Complete our Seduction Quiz and learn how to do it.
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Not Your Typical Guide, This Is A Detailed Tinder Roadmap
Before you learn how to pick up girls at a club, what you need to know is that women have absolute power, and they literally choose who they want to be with. Of course, you choose which girl you are going to approach, but she chooses will you stay there.
And if you aren’t her type, some other guy that is probably drunk is going to approach her, and if he isn’t good enough, another one will come. So, the first thing that you have to accept is that girls have full power in clubs.
What you should also know is that they spend hours in front of mirrors, doing make-up, hair, looking for cellulite on their body, questioning if they are fat and so on. And at the end, they will still be insecure about their looks. Think about it for a minute, ask yourself how can you exploit that. Those women that say how they go to clubs “just to dance” means they are going to meet someone. Maybe it’s you who they want to meet.
It is important to know how to dress. Women will judge you on first look, and there isn’t too much space to talk in loud clubs, so they will judge based on what they see (lift, lift, lift).
But before you enter the club there is one thing you need to do. As soon as you leave the house, listen to your mind, and what he wants. A lot of times when we walk down the street, and we see a hot chick walk in front of us, our mind suggests that we say something, even if that is one simple “hi”. But we shut down that voice quickly, with the excuse that it is weird, or that “I will open in the club anyway”. Here is the thing, don’t ignore that voice. Simply execute. The first thing you want to do but social pressure is pressing you not to, you have to do it. This way you are warming yourself up and creating momentum for later. Remember, you aren’t saying hi to that chick only because of her, you are doing it for that dream girl that you will pull easily, just because you built momentum on this one.
Let’s say you see a hot chick and at first you want to say hi to her. Your brain tells you “no, it’s too weird”, and you don’t. Then you go to a club and want to ask bouncers if it’s crowded in there, but you are too afraid, and you thought “ah, never mind, I will see it myself soon”. Next thing you know is that waitress put you on a table you don’t like, and you are too scared to tell her how this table sucks and to move you somewhere else.
Now, how on earth are you going to be social club machine with all this negative momentum? Before you know it, you are stuck in your head. But, there is also positive momentum, after few approaches, it gets easier and easier to approach, the problem we don’t realize is that battle for the club starts earlier when we need to get positive momentum. Maybe it is to ask something in a store, or maybe even some guy for direction. The problem is that every time you want to go out you will have to build momentum from scratch.
Just listen to your voice and do the small things your brain finds excuses not to. Your mind won’t be too cruel to you, he won’t suggest things that you can’t do over to social pressure. He will “propose” you little small things at first, as simple as “hi” on the street just to get you into momentum before the club. So, whatever your brain think that you should do, listen to it and fucking do it.
We have now come to the point where you arrive at the club. Now we have to enter the state . When I walk in the club, I do it with a smile on my face every fucking time. Then I stop for 10 seconds, check where the hot chicks are and look for an eye contact. When I get it, I immediately go to her. If I don’t get eye contact, I would still go to her. It is very, very important that you talk to some girl in first 10-20 seconds. She doesn’t have to be a model for you to approach her, she can even be a little fat or ugly.
Also, it doesn’t matter what you say, it’s a nightclub where people go to communicate with each other. Nothing weird about it. When you approach a girl as soon as you come, people wouldn’t know if you actually know her or not. That’s how you take pressure off yourself. Besides, when you are in company with girls, you will get more eye contact with other women. Simple preselection.
In that first set, I usually comment her style or something about her that I noticed. Then I say I can only give her few minutes since friends are waiting and then I will try to isolate her. You should be direct in clubs, she already knows you haven’t approached her to ask what is she studying. And if you fail, it doesn’t matter since the only point of that first approach is to have fun and get social proof. Have a good time, laugh, tease, act your play. That’s why you are there.
So, don’t go to the toilet, don’t go for a drink, just open that first set, be there few minutes, then you can leave and come back later. Of course, if she is responsive and you can escalate, stay there, but this is not common in the first approach and this early in the night.
When you go for a drink, play around with girls at the bar, vibe with them, act if you need, act like you are a stranger, and then tell her you are lying. Just vibe with them. You actually see that the point of a night game is to talk to as many girls as you can in a short period of time. One thing you need to remember, no one takes night game too serious. So why should you? They have all get out that night to have fun, laugh and meet the interesting person (you). The nightclub is like a social gathering, people are there to talk to other people and drink. That’s why you need to relax and play with them. It was always interesting to me to play with their little heads, to see how they will react to different situations.
So look at it like something that should amuse you, something that you will wake up tomorrow and say “that girl’s reaction was hilarious”. Don’t take anything seriously because night game is a farce, and just play your game. Check out top pick-up techniques at the Nightclub .
Remember, they are under temperature, and you have to be too, hug them, tell that you will be their best friends tonight, maybe a friend with benefits, make the good atmosphere around you. You could ask girls are they adventures (which means are they here to fuck).
Find some place or corner in the club where you will isolate your targets, where you can take them. She won’t come with you early in the night, but if you like her and she is responsive, you finally found someone to stay with, and then take her there. I usually have that place near the toilet.
Don’t be afraid to open another set when you are already in one, because like I said, it’s all one big act in clubs, where everyone wears their favorite mask. No one gives a fuck. Heck, people even expect you to be like that. It’s all fine.
Raise your temperature, always be doing something, there shouldn’t be pauses in between interactions, talk with a girl, it doesn’t matter what, when you don’t know what to say, dance, be physical. If you have pause more than few minutes, that means you have to practice more and that you aren’t doing club game properly. If you are that type of guy that just chills in the club, and you implement this thing I am talking about, that will be a game changer for you.
Don’t surrender too early. If a girl rejects you in the first couple of minutes, that doesn’t mean you can’t close her one hour later. If she rejects you, try again later. As the night goes on, your chances are raising. No one wants to be alone.
Find your target, and choose between two things. Do you want to pull her that night or to go on a date later? It is very important to choose what you want.
If you want to pull that night, just raise attraction and be physical, kiss close and lead to pull (after party at your place or something like that).
But if you want a date with her that week, one thing comes to my mind, rapport. You have enough time to create rapport . Since attraction is already there, all you need to do is to not kill it. Create rapport with long seductive eye contact, being gently physical, and letting her talk so you can listen. Ask her private interesting things even i
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