How To Grapefruit Your Man

How To Grapefruit Your Man




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How To Grapefruit Your Man
Image: "Branch with oblong fruit," Chinese water color painting. The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1800-1899.






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By gripping him toward the center of an edgeless canyon—
Blueberry your man: squeeze his delicate inner tannins into a clean saucer.
Watch his watermelon seeds pool into a dark portrait,
The whites of his eyes shining like cool daybreak.
Lemon your man in repetitive extraction, then
Affix your gaze on his melted sacs and looping rinds.
Tamper with the excess pods until they liquefy into a hydrous substance,
Your man stirring in a cloudless bowl.
All mammalian boundaries between you now dissolved,
See to it that no parts of him go wasted, not even
The thin folds of his segmented membranes, his fruit’s falsetto.
Pineapple your man until his ovaries flower into individual sugarloaves
Juiced, follicle by follicle, as a proudly bursting blood orange.

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"No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact."

-Cosmo Kramer


If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device.
Videos you watch may be added to the TV's watch history and influence TV recommendations. To avoid this, cancel and sign in to YouTube on your computer.
An error occurred while retrieving sharing information. Please try again later.
0:38 / 1:16 • Watch full video Live

"No, no, no. It's for oil tankers. All I need to do is fill some sort of rubber container with oil and then drop it to see whether or it not it can withstand the impact."

-Cosmo Kramer


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