How To Give An Amazing Bj

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How To Give An Amazing Bj
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Blowjobs don’t get the greatest depictions in the media, especially in porn. There’s lots of mouth-fucking, forced gagging, and getting ejaculated on, but in real life, blowjobs can be an incredibly fun experience for the giver. Here’s how to give a great blowjob and enjoy it at the same time.
On average, men take three to five minutes to orgasm, so you don’t usually need to worry about finding a position that will be comfortable for the long haul. Still, you want to find a position that feels good for you. It’s generally easiest to be on your knees (put a blanket or pillow underneath if you’re on a hard surface), in between their legs. He can be sitting on the edge of the bed or sofa (he can lie back if he wants), or standing. Being able to watch is an extremely hot part of the process, so it’s nice to give them a good view. You can even position yourselves in front of a mirror if you really want to play up the voyeuristic aspect, so both of you can watch.
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You can warm up a bit by rubbing their dick over their underwear with your hand, but try to get to work relatively quickly. Most men I’ve spoken with don’t like an excessive amount of teasing, and it can even feels a little uncomfortable or ticklish. If you’re going to tease, try slipping a tongue or finger beneath the waistband of their underwear before pulling them off, or holding their dick in your hand while you ask them what they want you to do with it.
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If he’s not fully hard right after you take off their clothes, take advantage of the situation by taking their entire penis into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it while he grows bigger. It might be the only time you’re able to get the full thing in your mouth, so have fun. If he’s already erect, start at the base of their penis and make a few long, slow licks from the base to the tip. Keep your tongue broad and flat.
Once you’re ready to get down to business, you’ll want to get their dick nice and wet and establish a good baseline technique. Slide your mouth up and down their penis a few times, keeping your tongue pressed against the underside of their dick. You want to try to maintain a tight seal with your mouth, without allowing any contact with your teeth. Try to gather up as much saliva as you can, and slowly let it fall out of your mouth as you traverse their dick. Don’t worry about getting too sloppy at this point; the wetter the better.
Once you’ve gotten them lubed up, use your hand and mouth in tandem. Most people’s mouths aren’t big enough to accommodate an average-sized penis, so your hand is essential for coverage. Use it to stimulate the majority of the shaft, and your mouth to stimulate the head. The shaft tends to be the least-sensitive part of the penis, so you can use more pressure than you might think. The head of the penis is much more fine-tuned to stimulation, so your warm, wet mouth will be gladly welcomed. Firmly wrap your dominant hand around the base of their penis, like you’re giving it a good handshake. Bring your lips down to meet your hand. Pretend that your mouth and your fist are glued together, and move up and down their penis for a minute or two. This will be your standard move that you can return to at any point.
The testicles are often criminally neglected during oral. As soon as you feel comfortable with your basic technique, start paying some attention to the balls. You can do this with either your hand or your mouth.
First, take their entire scrotum into your non-dominant hand. Testicles are sensitive, so you’ll need to find a good balance between grasping firmly enough (too light will feel ticklish), and not being too rough. Roll the balls around in your hand while you continue sucking dick. Give the whole sack a few soft tugs. Then try focusing on their balls with your mouth. Keep your hand going on their penis as you lick all around their testicles with a broad, flat tongue. Try taking each ball in your mouth for a minute. You can also try licking in between the balls, going all the way from the back of their scrotum to the front.
Once you’ve settled into your basic stroke, it’s time to shake things up a bit. Most men enjoy variety during a blowjob, but just like with cunnilingus , everyone likes different things. Use this exploratory time to try to get a sense of what he enjoys best. Try out two different techniques and ask them, “what do you like better? This? Or this?” Or pay attention to moaning or to the way your partner’s body moves to get a sense of what’s working.
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You’ll want to try out a few different things, but there’s no need to maniacally careen through 50 techniques in one sitting. Take your time exploring.
It’s sad enough that the balls get so overlooked, but what really brings a tear to my eye is all of those poor neglected buttholes out there. Gay men are usually clued in to the magic of the asshole, but straight men can often be more squeamish; the anus is still pretty taboo in our society, but it’s past time we all get over it. Your asshole feels good, people.
Still, I recommend getting explicit permission from your partner instead of just gunning for their butt. If your partner is a little shy or unsure, try stimulating the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the balls and asshole (otherwise known as the taint, or grundle). It’s not the asshole itself, so your partner may feel more comfortable being stimulated there. The perineum usually responds best to firm pressure, so try pressing a single knuckle into that area. You can try kneading the skin with your knuckle, or you can simply exert pressure.
If your partner is up for anal play, you’ll need to use some lube . I think silicone lube works best in this instance. Put a dab on your pointer finger, and slowly run your finger up and down your partner’s crack. Depending on how much hair is back there, it might take a few tries to actually locate the asshole, but once you’ve found it, you can simply press your fingertip against the opening. If your partner pushes their hips against your hand, try slowly inserting your finger. You don’t need to go in that far; even just an inch or two works. Gently slide your finger in and out.
If you’ve got this down, you can go for the gold standard of great blowjobs—a finger in the asshole, the remaining fingers of that hand wrapped around the balls, the other hand on the dick, and the dick in the mouth. Expect a blown load in no time. Seriously, anal play can really speed things up.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
Ah, the age old swallow or spit debate. One of my bottom lines as a sex therapist is that we all get to make our own decisions about what feels right for our sex lives. If you’re genuinely uncomfortable with swallowing, keep a box of tissues nearby and discretely spit into them when finished. If your partner is into being messy, you can make a show of it by letting the semen slip out of your mouth and onto them.
I’d also invite the spitters out there to consider the Golden Rule. How would you feel watching your partner leap up right after you were finished, and try to get rid of your juices as quickly as possible? It would be hard not to feel self-conscious about your genitals, and we all have enough of that already, don’t we? Genital fluids aren’t meant to taste incredible, but all we’re talking about is a quick swallow of a few teaspoons. Plus, it can quickly turn into an acquired taste.
If there’s one tip you should walk away from this entire article with, it’s that enthusiasm is the best quality in an incredible blowjob. There’s nothing better than knowing your partner is genuinely enjoying having your dick in their mouth.
One of the most effective ways you can show your enthusiasm is by initiating the blowjob. Surprise them when he walks in the door or when he wakes up in the morning. If you’re sitting around watching another Netflix marathon, tell them, “you know, I’d rather have your dick in my mouth right now.” When you’re out at dinner, whisper, “can we please get out of here? I need to wrap my lips around your dick as soon as possible.” Keep that enthusiasm going once you’re mid blowjob. Moan loudly and energetically. Look them in the eyes and smile. Take their penis out of your mouth and rub it all over your body. Keep telling them how hot it makes you to be pleasuring them.
You’ll know when you’ve really turned a corner with your blowjob technique when you do genuinely enjoy it. Because really, is there any better feeling than knowing you’re fully in control of bringing an exquisite amount of pleasure to someone else?
This story was originally published in July 2015 and was updated on February 11, 2021 to meet Lifehacker style guidelines.


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By Marissa Gainsburg , Hunter Levitan and Mackenzie Hall Published: Aug 3, 2022
This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women's Health, where she oversees the magazine's news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section. After receiving her journalism degree from the University of Florida, Marissa has spent the past eight years in NYC with her dog Bentley, writing and editing fitness, nutrition, health, sexual health, mental health, relationship, and travel content. She's held previous positions at Self, Allure, and Cosmopolitan.
Hunter Levitan is a freelance journalist specializing in fashion, style, culture, sex, and wellness stories, as well as a writer/poet, photographer, and mixed media brand consultant. Her work has appeared in Who What Wear, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health Magazine, and The Improper Bostonian, among others. She is a graduate of New York University and lives in New York City.
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The mighty blow job —intimidating for sure, but probably one of the best sex acts to have in your pleasure arsenal. Though taking full control of your partner's penis or strap-on can feel empowering, you may have sometimes wondered if your blow job technique could use a little improvement. After all, how do you give a good blow job anyway? Sex ed definitely didn't cover this.
Well, it really comes down to personal preferences. But for many, just getting a blow job is a huge turn on. "[People] love blow jobs because the act feels like sex, but it's a very different experience—they get to relax and receive and just enjoy what's happening in front of them," says Vanessa Marin , a certified sex therapist in Los Angeles.
Plus, the visual element of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth really gets a lot of people going, Marin adds. Not to mention, unlike a hand job or even penetrative sex , no one can replicate the sensation of a blow job on their own (obviously). Your mouth is wet and warm, like a vagina (or a lubed-up hand), but your lips and tongue are living, roving, irreplaceable works of art.
It’s definitely not everyone’s thing (reminder: your sexual preferences are only decided by you, and no one should ever make you feel bad about them!), but when you’re really clicking with a partner, a blow job can be a great way to amp up affection.
"Although it may not seem as intimate [as sex] because there isn't as much face-to-face contact, the willingness to do this adds a level of trust and intimacy that is underappreciated," explains Kimberly Resnick Anderson , LCSW, a certified sex therapist based in L.A.
So, back to technique, what else should you know about blow jobs aside from the...uh...basics? Well, here's exactly how to take your oral sex game to the next level, according to certified sex therapists.
By far the number one rule for giving good head is actually wanting to give good head.
"The biggest complaint I hear from clients about blow jobs has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with their partner's enthusiasm about it," Marin says. "Recipients will have a great time if they know their partner is enjoying it." (Awww!)
"There's a big difference between 'they do this for me because I like it' and someone that is actually being turned on by giving oral sex," adds Anderson. "If someone is earnest and motivated to please them, that's 90 percent of it."
That's not to say you should pretend you like doing something in the bedroom if you straight-up don't. (In that vein, never do something you're not comfortable with just because a sexual partner asks you.) But if you're considering going down on someone—which, if you're reading this article, it seems like you are—the best thing you can bring to the BJ party is a good attitude.
A few ways to show your enthusiasm:
A blow job might count as oral sex , but that doesn't mean your mouth has to do all the work. "I like to think of the mouth as providing wetness and your hands as providing tightness," says Marin.
If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired a few minutes into the job, you're likely suctioning too hard with your mouth. So shift some of the work to your hands, counting on them for pressure.
Here's your basic stroke once you've warmed up a bit:
If their penis is larger than average, you can keep your mouth in one place and move your wet hand up and down separately.
Then from there, you can mix up your hand technique a bit. Try the Wrist Twist: With your mouth on the penis (this is still oral sex), rotate your firm wrist in clockwise circles as you move your hand up and down.
Bring your other hand into the game once you've gotten your bearings. "Focus beyond just the penis," says Anderson. "Some people like nipple stimulation, touching their leg...make it a full-sensory experience, beyond just the pelvic region." When in doubt? Cup and gently squeeze the balls.
During one of the first blow jobs I ever gave (to a guy I'd been dating for five months, so we were super comfortable with each other), my partner told me to spit on him. It freaked me out for a sec, but then realized he just liked it extra wet.
While everyone has their own, ahem, moisture preferences, I've found that most agree a good blow job requires a lot of saliva. You don't want to go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but try to do some **sexy** spitting (read: make it subtle) whenever the penis starts to feel a little dry.
On that note, it's not a bad idea to keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth—you may need it.
When giving a blow job, your tongue provides the warmth, texture, and wetness that they can't get elsewhere.
To maximize this sensation, both Anderson and Marin suggest keeping your tongue soft in your mouth when you're moving up and down (the majority of your job), then using the tip of your tongue to trace the head and frenulum—the underside where the penis head (if circumcised) meets the shaft.
Those two areas, especially the frenulum, are packed with nerve endings, so expect your partner to go crazy.
You can also use the flat side of your tongue to lick from the bottom of the shaft to the very tip and down again, or throw in a few tongue flicks.
At some point during my writing career in women's magazines, I picked up a tip from a sexpert (I wish I could remember who!) that has become my trusty signature move. (I almost hate sharing it, but in the name of better blow jobs for all...)
As you suck, try to keep your lips in a slightly fish-face position—pretend you're about to say "purple." The word naturally contorts your lips into the perfect head-giving pout: They're slightly curled and pillowy, which makes them feel wetter and creates ideal suction.
A huge factor of a blow job is the visual component, Marin and Anderson agree—presentation is everything, people! "If someone is on the bed and you're between their legs, try going to the side," says Anderson. "Think about changing the 'traditional' view." It also allows your partner to take in the full view of your awesome bod, so give 'em a wink and strike a pose.
You can also try placing yourself in different spots around the room—say, having your partner up against the wall and you on your knees in front of them. You can even place yourselves in front of a mirror so they can take in every angle. "Anything a partner can do to make it more visual" will be a win, says Anderson.
Deep throating—where you take the member so far into your mouth, it's in your throat—is definitely an advanced skill. Why? Two words: gag reflex.
Some people’s gag reflex is more easily activated than others, but if you're able to train it—I did by practicing on, no joke, frozen ice pops—you can surprise (and by that, I mean SHOCK) your partner with moments of deep throating.
Not only does deep throating feel amazing to them (your throat is obviously tighter than their mouth), but it’s a turn-on seeing their entire length somehow fit inside your mouth. (Back to that visual thing from the previous point.)
A word of caution: Ease into this, and only when you can breathe well through your nose. No penis is worth choking over.
There's nothing worse than giving a blow job and feeling your neck cramp or your knees bruise from an uncomfortable or unsustainable position. So be sure you (and your partner) are in comfortable positions to make the situation more enjoyable all around. "For givers, if they're on their knees, get a pillow so the knees are supported," suggests Dr. Jenni Skyler , PhD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and director of The Intimacy Institute . "It's about the positioning of the body, so being between their partner's legs so they can easily cup the testicles and move from their core versus moving from the neck saves the neck muscles."
Trying out different positions can also be a fun way to experiment and ease up the pressure and stress. If one position isn't working, it'll be pretty clear to both parties involved, so laugh about it and try another way! This makes the entire process more enjoyable all around.
Lube matters. And it's a game-changer in all types of sexual activity. Obvi, moisture is a huge component of blow jobs – but generating enough saliva can be hard, "especially if you're dehydrated or live in a drier climate," says Skyler. A dry mouth isn't enjoyable for both parties. Incorporate some lube to increase wetness and pleasure.
If you like the taste of coconut oil or prefer an oral lube, there are plenty of lube options to choose from that can change your blow job game. "I always say have lube, why not, let it help you, and it can taste good," adds Skyler.
As a giver, really knowing what you desire or need at the ejaculation process is key. "If ejaculation in your mouth and swallowing is no big deal, okay," says Skyler. "But
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