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Male Orgasm: What It Feels Like & How to Intensify It

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Male Orgasm: What It Feels Like & How to Intensify It

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Before the scientific advances that led to the development of in vivo fertilization, the male orgasm was directly responsible for the existence of every human being in history.
Of course, without eggs, wombs, birth canals, midwives and everything else that goes into growing a sperm into a living human, none of those orgasms would have amounted to anything. But it’s still an interesting thing to consider, and helps explain, perhaps, the intense importance that many men place on their orgasms.
Of course, modern-day sex is very rarely about procreation. Even so, we’re not exactly looking at a shortage of humans being born, so the importance of a guy ejaculating is quite likely as low as it’s ever been. But it’s still worth asking the question — what is the male orgasm? Why is it such a big deal? How, if at all, is it different from the female orgasm ?
We spoke with two doctors who specialize in such things — a urologist and a sex therapist — to help get to the bottom of all this.
In most mainstream pornography, the male orgasm is the literal and figurative climax of the story, acting as the goal towards which all the participants are working. In real-life sex, that’s often the case, too, but it doesn’t need to be. It is something that requires work, however, since you can’t just orgasm accidentally, First, you need to enter into a state of physical arousal, i.e. achieve an erection.
Then, what happens next relies on your brain in a big way.
“The male orgasm is a sensation that is basically driven by the sympathetic nervous system, activated by your five senses,” says Dr. Koushik Shaw, MD of the Austin Urology Institute . “It is a complex interplay between your brain, your brain stem and your spinal cord. It can be heightened through your sense of touch, smell, and visuals. All your senses can activate the sympathetic nervous system, which in turn helps trigger the sensation of orgasm.”
And how long does this sensation last?
“That is going to be varied between different people and across various excitement states,” says Shaw. “Usually between a few seconds to 30 seconds.”
“Most people describe it as a pulsing, wave-like release of pelvic tension, associated with high levels of sexual arousal and pleasure,” says Dr. Jason Winters, founder and director of the West Coast Centre for Sex Therapy . “It's the release.”
That being said, when you experience an orgasm, you’re not “most people” — you’re you . So your specific experience of orgasm can differ from other people’s.
“This is different for each person,” says Shaw. “It could be a feeling of euphoria, or just a general ‘feeling great.’ Your blood pressure can go up, your heart rate goes up. There could be a tingling sensation in your spine or your brain. It can really be a multitude of sensations and is different for each person.”
He also notes the “release of endorphins and enkephalins — the same hormones that give you a runner's high or are released when you win a prize” that you feel during an orgasm.
“They are the ‘feel good hormones’ that will be released during an orgasm,” he adds. “So, in short — you'll know because you'll feel good.”
You’ll also likely know because you ejaculate — that is, shoot a quantity of semen, a white-ish sticky liquid out of your urethra — though sometimes younger boys can achieve orgasm before they begin producing semen to go with it.
Are there kinds of orgasms you’ve yet to experience, new and unexplored forms of orgasm?
“In terms of what's going on in the brain, no,” says Winters. In short, an orgasm is an orgasm. But, he notes that “from a sensory point of view, however, any add-on sensory stimuli can make the experience feel different. This can be from stimulating other parts of the body (i.e., other than the penis) during orgasm, for example, or different ways of stimulating the penis.”
Basically, an orgasm you get from masturbation might feel different from one you get from a blowjob, which might feel different from one you get from penetrative sex, which might feel different from one you get from a handjob with additional prostate stimulation.
Apart from that, Shaw notes that your orgasms are likely to change slightly as you age.
“Orgasms are generally better when you're younger, and not as strong as you get older,” he says. “Also, heart disease, diabetes, a high-fat diet, lack of exercise and anything that can affect your neurovascular system and sensation pathways negatively can diminish your sense of orgasm.”
While most people associate orgasming and ejaculating together, they’re actually different things. Though this might be relatively rare cases, it is possible to ejaculate without orgasming, and also to orgasm without ejaculating.
“Orgasm without ejaculation is called 'dry orgasm',” says Winters. “It's achieved by flexing the PC [pubococygeus muscle] during orgasm. This pinches the urethra shut, preventing ejaculation.”
Not sure what that means? Essentially, you’re performing the same move you’d do in order to stop peeing. If you know how to do that, you already know how to flex your PC muscle — now it’s just a question of trying to do it during your orgasm. Easier said than done, perhaps, but still possible if you’re willing to put in the effort.
However, in some cases an ejaculation-free orgasm might be an accident rather than an intentional outcome.
“Alternatively, it can be the result of a problem called retrograde ejaculation (ejaculate goes up the urethra into the bladder, rather than out the urethra),” says Winter. “It's also possible to ejaculate without orgasm.”
Shaw notes that ejaculating without having an orgasm could occur post-pelvic surgery.
“Prostate surgery can have this effect,” he says. “In other words, some medical procedures can have you lose your orgasm, but still ejaculate.”
And on top of physical procedures having an impact, chemical ones can affect your orgasm, too.
“People on certain antidepressants may keep their erection for minutes or hours and potentially delay their ejaculation for quite some time,” explains Shaw. “Sometimes, we use low-dose antidepressant medication to help treat people for premature ejaculation .”
When it comes to sex, particularly between a man and a woman, people often focus on the differences between the male experience and the female experience.
But when it comes to the difference between the male orgasm and the female orgasm, apparently, there’s not much to focus on.
“There isn't really much [difference] at all,” says Winters. “The few brain-imaging studies that are available show wide-spread activation of a whole bunch of regions of the brain in both males and females. There isn't really much to differentiate the patterns of activation when you compare the sexes.”
That being said, what’s going on in the brain and what’s going on in the rest of the body are different things.
“If you compare female orgasm with male orgasm and ejaculation (which is a separate, but related, process), then differences emerge,” says Winters.
Which isn’t to say that women can’t also ejaculate — but female ejaculation is a wholly different phenomenon.
Perhaps the main difference between men’s orgasms and women’s orgasms is how many they’re able to give themselves.
While men might have a hard time giving women orgasms, women are quite good at giving themselves orgasms, courtesy of an elevated capacity to be multi-orgasmic.
“Some people have the capacity to be multiorgasmic,” says Shaw. “Women tend to be more so than men, however, men can definitely have multiple orgasms.”
If you don’t have a ton of orgasm experience (or even if you do), that may be news to you. After orgasming, most guys experience “a refractory period, which is ‘how long before you can go at it again’” notes Shaw. “That can be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours when you’re younger to a few days as you get older.”
During the refractory period, Winters says “the body enters a state of sexual inhibition.”
“Arousal can't continue or happen,” he states. “This is why guys typically lose their erections after ejaculation and no amount of stimulation will get them hard again.”
So are multiple orgasms on the table at all? Well, it seems to all come down to your ejaculation.
“The refractory period can be circumvented by preventing ejaculation during orgasm,” says Winters. “This can be achieved by pinching the urethra shut with fingers, or by learning (i.e., training) to flex the PC hard enough to prevent ejaculation.”
Regardless of whether you ever achieve multi-orgasmic status, if you’ve had enough individual orgasms, you’re likely to realize that some of them feel more intense than others. Which raises the question — why? And the follow-up question: Can I make my orgasms more intense ?
For starters, orgasm intensity is, according to Shaw, “complex, and also affected by testosterone.”
“Higher testosterone levels at a younger age can lead to a more intense orgasm,” he says, while “age-related lower testosterone, stress, lack of sleep, etc. can affect it negatively.”
As a result, “it is important to take good care of your penis and your sexual life, along with your health, to maximize the quality of your orgasms,” he adds.
That being said, it’s definitely possible to amp up certain factors in order to make your orgasms more intense. For one, using an erection-enhancing sex toy like a cock ring could potentially help. But more broadly, a lot of orgasm intensity is tied to build-up. Meaning if you just came a few minutes ago, having another orgasm not long after is likely to produce a relatively weak one. If you’re orgasming several times a day, you’re likely to have weaker ones in general.
Staving off orgasm over a long period, whether by avoiding masturbation and sex or by using a technique called “edging,” can help produce an extra-powerful one when you do.
At the end of the day, everyone’s orgasm will be a unique experience brought on by a combination of factors — their sexual triggers, their surroundings, how much stimulation they’ve experienced since the last orgasm, and so forth.
But no matter the exact feeling, weak or strong, having the opportunity to bask in one of the best sensations known to humankind isn’t so bad, is it?

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Spark his most mind-blowing experience ever.
Speaking as a male, I can't think of anything that remotely equals the thrill of an orgasm . What's weird is that, for all the attention it receives, the male orgasm doesn't get talked about in much detail despite the fact that there can be a huge difference in intensity from one to the next. My guess is that the most women don't know this.
With this information gap in mind, I set out to discover what, exactly, makes for the most bone-rattling, foundation-shaking male orgasms, and what women can do to encourage their arrival. I went straight to the experts — a few sex therapists , lots of men. It was as if they (the guys, at least) were just waiting for someone to ask. So here, finally, is everything you need to know about helping your guy have stronger, longer orgasms.
One warning before we begin: Be prepared for surprises, and for seeming contradictions. It turns out that male orgasms are both as single-minded as they sometimes seem, and at the same time a lot more complicated. As sensitive as men are to skill and technique , they're equally powered by mood, setting, and timing . The fun — for him and for you — is in mixing up the following strategies to see what will work tonight. So have at it.
The biggest secret about men's orgasms , I think, is that they reveal how vulnerable we are. That's why they're so sensitive to the environment; slight changes in the wind can turn a 10-gun salute into a popgun. Will, 30, a bank administrator, for instance, says he sometimes finds he can't come at all if he's too worried about his job.
The surprise for me in interviewing men for this story was that only one of them said he enjoyed being brought to orgasm through oral sex. That's an avenue I expected would be number one on most men's hit parade. And it is — but only as foreplay.
We men are really looking for the same things from sex that women are: love, acceptance, and intimacy. The moment of orgasm is when those needs are most exposed, and men — even married men — can get nervous being emotionally naked. When asked what techniques produced his most intense orgasms, Richard fondly recalled lovers who grabbed him by his butt and pulled him tighter toward them, as if they wanted nothing so much as to completely absorb him.
Paul, a 35-year-old executive, talked about how his wife sometimes lovingly strokes his face as he comes. "It's about her showing that she really wants me ," he says. Therapists can talk for hours about how to achieve true intimacy, but a good place to start would be in bed tonight. Tell your man how much you love him, and mean it. Then hold on for dear life.
A good orgasm for a man is the sexual equivalent of a cold beer at the end of the workday: a satisfying reward for a job well done. The job in this case is pleasing you. A major part of the satisfaction men get from sex is the ego boost that results from making our partners go bonkers in bed.
The point is that a lot of men won't allow themselves to savor their own orgasm until they've accomplished that goal. "Performing comes first; my orgasm comes second," says Will. "There are times when I just want to come, but basically my goal is for my wife to find every sexual encounter totally fulfilling."
Sex therapists will tell you that although this approach is admirable — better that men be too concerned with their partners' orgasms than not at all concerned — it can nonetheless constitute a form of voluntary sensory deprivation. By reining in their passion, many men deprive themselves of the sexual abandon that produces the strongest orgasms. "Sex becomes a battle to make sure she has an orgasm, rather than a mutual sharing of enjoyment," says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in Washington, DC, and coauthor of Male Sexual Awareness .
The solution? Give your man the night off. Encourage him to focus on enjoying himself without worrying about taking care of you. There are two basic ways to go about this. One is to tell him, as your lovemaking heats up, that you want this one to be all for him, that tonight he should do whatever makes him feel good. The other is to encourage him to lie back passively and let himself be pleasured by you . Sex therapists say this is a better method, because it enables him to concentrate completely on what he's feeling, rather than on what he's doing. The same should go for you when he returns the favor another night: Ideally, both of you will regularly take turns teaching the other delightful lessons in the art of orgasmic appreciation.
One caution: Michael Seiler, Ph.D., a marriage and sex therapist at the Phoenix Institiute in Chicago, says many men find it difficult to let go of control during sex. Don't be surprised, then, if it takes a while before your husband is comfortable turning the reins completely over to you. Be patient, but be firm. He'll learn to love it.
Ask any man after a week on the road — abstinence is the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. Even when he's not out of town, you can contribute to that pent-up, dying-to-make-love state of mind by deploying some sexual teasing tactics during the day. Robert Birch, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio, suggests "accidentally" flashing a little breast at him in the morning, or giving him a lascivious phone call at the office. "Women can plant a sexual seed that will flower that night into a stronger orgasm," he says.
The same drive that makes a man an animal when he gets home from a road trip is at work within each individual bout of lovemaking. Uri Peles, M.D., director of the Beverly Hills Center for Sexual Medicine, points out that as foreplay continues , muscle tension builds and the genital area becomes engorged with blood, resulting in a steadily growing pressure for release. The more pressure, the more pleasure in the release, because the contractions tend either to be stronger or last longer.
In our heart of hearts, we men know that the longer the foreplay , the stronger the orgasm, for ourselves as well as for our partners. But at the same time, we have this incredibly powerful drive to simply come, come, come! We can't help it: It's been hardwired into our sexual circuitry over thousands of years.
The trick for you is to help your husband set aside this evolutionary imperative so that sex lasts long enough for a truly eventful climax to build. Linda De Villers, Ph.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in El Segundo, California, suggests setting the tone for longer, more languorous sex by starting things off with a slow, sensual back rub. Other delaying tactics can be brought into play as the festivities progress. Stopping for an occasional cooling-off period works beautifully, but takes discipline.
The woman-on-top position is useful because it helps the man restrain his urge to start thrusting. A prolonging method that may take practice is called the "squeeze technique." Just before his orgasm appears imminent, put your thumb on one side of the base of the penis and the tips of your index and middle fingers on the other side, then squeeze. You can then start your mutual ascent to the mountaintop again.
A corollary of the quickie concept is the sneak attack: An element of sexual surprise can produce a powerful climax. Sometimes you need to cut through all the chaos and clutter of modern life. Anything from job pressure to money woes to kid problems to bedroom boredom can come between you and your man's deepest passions. Spontaneity can help bring him to his senses. A good time to try this is on a weekend morning. That's usually when men are most relaxed and their testosterone levels are at their peak.
It's not really politically correct to admit this, but the truth is that when orgasm is imminent, there's only one male erogenous zone, and you know where it is. "That doesn't mean men don't like to be kissed or caressed, but when it comes to orgasm, you can start and end with the penis," says Marilyn Volker, Ed.D., a sexologist in Miami.
It makes sense, therefore, that when men are out for the most lustful orgasms, their positions of choice tend to be those that provide the most direct penile stimulation, and the best opportunities for penile thrust. "
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