Great Vagina
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Great Vagina
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Lane Moore
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician based in New York City.
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Who run the world? Vaginas. Who run this mother? Vaginas.
With so many cool vaginas (and in many of these cases, vulvas) dominating the news in 2015, it was hard to narrow it down to just 13, but narrow it down I did. Here are the best vaginas of 2015.
1. The "World's Most Beautiful Vagina."
Auto-Blow sex toys decided to have a competition to find the world's most beautiful vagina and asked women to submit photos of their vaginas so the Internet could vote for and rank them. The three winners were told they'd get thousands of dollars in cash and the opportunity to have a mold made of their vulvas so they could be made into sex toys. Auto-Blow creator Brian Sloan made that mold by 3-D scanning the first-, second-, and third-place vaginas after taking them to a quick lunch. A little weird, yes, but also, good for them?
2. The wall made entirely of vaginas.Â
Over 400 women took part in Jamie McCartney's " Great Wall of Vagina " plaster of Paris artwork designed to put an end to women feeling shame about the way their vaginas look. McCartney said he was sick of companies shaming people for their vaginas and telling them they needed to have surgery to make them look better so the companies could make money off of them. He said his plan was to do castings with one woman's vagina from every country in the world and a casting series with one vagina from every state in America so women could see their vaginas are perfect. He's basically a terrific human being.Â
3. The vagina emojis the world needed.
Flirtmoji introduced vagina emojis with diverse skin tones, tangles of hair, and little details like wrinkles, veins, freckles, piercings that made all of us wonder how we got along without vagina emojis for as long as we did.
4. This awkward teddy bear vagina.Â
Sharon Green just wanted to order a cake from the U.K.'s Occasion Cakes for her 3-year-old daughter Tahlia Rose's christening, but what she got was a cake with seams that made the bear look like it had a vagina . Green says that she covered the bear's alleged vagina with fondant flowers because she didn't have time to do anything else, but she later demanded a refund from the bakery. She says that no one ate the cake and that the bears on the cake were also not what she ordered, but the shop said the alleged vagina on the bear was actually a seam where the bear was sewn together. So, potato, bear vagina, basically.Â
5. These supermodel vaginas that totally touched.
Stuart Weitzman announced that Joan Smalls, Gigi Hadid, and Lily Aldridge would be the new faces of the shoe brand's spring 2016 campaign the best way they knew how: by having their vaginas touch in the photo. 'Nuff said.Â
6. The vaginas that were picked out of a lineup by their owners.Â
BuzzFeed asked six women to look at their vaginas, describe them to a professional portrait artist, and pick their own vaginas out of a vagina lineup and three out of six women were able to recognize their own immediately. The overall consensus about the exercise was summed up perfectly by one of the women: "OK, it's awkward, but there's no shame in having a vagina," which is a message worth drawing strangers' vaginas for.Â
7. The vagina that made a loaf of bread.
British Blogger Zoe Stavri whipped the Internet into a frenzy after writing about a sourdough loaf she'd begun to make from scratch, leavened with yeast from a vaginal infection . She sourced the yeast with the help of a dildo and baked it. Stavri then ate her special sourdough bread and said she "really, really liked it" and plans to bake more bread items using her leftover starter yeast (since her infection has since cleared up). Bon appetit.Â
8. The vagina sculpture that mysteriously got white stuff all over it.
Sculptor Anish Kapoor's latest work, " Dirty Corner ," also known as the "the vagina of a queen who is taking power," was mysteriously vandalized by someone who put white, uh, stuff, inside it. The estate's management said the piece was being cleaned and the mystery white paint removed, so it was eventually good as new.Â
9. The weight-lifting vagina of Kim Anami.
Sex expert and life coach Kim Anami posted a ton of photos of her traveling the globe tying objects to a jade egg she inserts inside her, lifting the objects, and tagging them #ThingsILiftWithMyVagina, which is a pretty solid profession.Â
Is it a vagina dress ? Who knows. But when the light hits it just right, it seems like it is and that's good enough for me.Â
11. The vagina painting that shut down a man's Facebook account.
A French teacher tried to sue Facebook for disabling his account in 2011 after he posted a photo of the 1866 painting "The Origin of the World" by Gustave Courbet. The famous work of art, currently on display at the MusĂ©e d'Orsay in Paris, is a close-up view of a woman's vulva, thighs, and stomach. Facebook shut down the man's account and has not reactivated it. Facebook's lawyer Caroline Lyannaz argued that the man's lawsuit had no merit , since all users have to sign a clause agreeing that only California courts can rule in disputes over Facebook, so French users couldn't take recourse with any of their policies. Take note, semester abroad travelers.Â
12. The vagina that bled outside a temple in protest.
Twenty-year-old Nikita Azad started a Facebook campaign using #HappyToBleed to protest the Sabarimala temple in India, which doesn't allow women of menstruating age to enter. The temple chief said the rule would only be changed once they had a machine that could check whether a woman was menstruating or not. The campaign invites women to speak out against this sexism using charts or sanitary products with #HappyToBleed in photos on social media.Â
13. Ever y vagina that got contoured this year. Vontouring (aka vaginal contouring ) became a thing in 2015, even though I'm pretty sure no one asked for that to become a thing. The non-invasive, non-surgical labioplasty is designed to " correct the external look of vagina " by using an ultrasound to stimulate collagen production via the application of "intensive heating" applied to the vaginal opening." Plastic surgeons said the creepy-sounding vagina oven of sorts will increase the flexibility of the labia majora and minora and lead to " significant and long-lasting improvement of sexual satisfaction ," but it mostly just sounded like weird sexist crap to me. Vaginas don't need bronzer, yo.Â
Follow Lane on Twitter and Instagram . Â
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The female body is a specimen worthy of great works of art, and these depictions of the vagina represent that well. These pieces can liven up a home office or form the backdrop to your den. Each of these photographs of the vagina will heighten your senses and help you to develop a deeper appreciation for women everywhere.
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1 - 72 of 1,460 vagina photos for sale
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1 - 72 of 1,460 vagina photos for sale
The female body is a specimen worthy of great works of art, and these depictions of the vagina represent that well. These pieces can liven up a home office or form the backdrop to your den. Each of these photographs of the vagina will heighten your senses and help you to develop a deeper appreciation for women everywhere.
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*First Published: Jul 24, 2015, 10:05 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go
Posted on Jul 24, 2015Â Â Â Updated on May 28, 2021, 7:13 am CDT
Following rigorous competition and more than 130,000 voters, the Worldâs Most Beautiful Vagina Contest anointed a champion this week. It was a strange, difficult-to-gauge eventâbut thatâs why organizers turned to scientists to tell us what it all means.
U.K. resident Nell, 27, won first place and $5,000 in the pageant with a vulva beauty ranking of 7.7 out of 10. Jenny, 23, of Bavaria, Germany, took second place with a 7.3; and Anita, 20, from Hungary, came in third. They each earned $2,500 and $1,250, respectively.
The contest was sponsored by Brian Sloan, who is also the manufacturer of the Autoblow 2 . Itâs known as âthe first truly realistic alternative to traditional pleasure products for men,â according to the its website .
These winners will also be flown out to Los Angeles, where their vulvas will be 3D-scanned to later be reproduced for the Autoblow device.
Sloan contracted a group of data scientists to analyze the contestâs findings for their scientific implications. The data was then compiled in â The Vulva Paper .â
If youâre a visual learner, you can view photo examples of each class here .Â
The Vulva Paperâs website says scientists âused the contest data to assess the diversity in vulval morphology and votersâ preference for different morphologies.â A total of 182 women participated in the contest; 110 entries were examined for the study (if measurements could not be taken from the photo, the entry was not considered).
The scientists viewed each entry on a 15-inch computer screen, zooming in âuntil the genitalia were easily measured using a screen ruler,â read the paper .
They measured labia majora length, labia minora length, and clitoral hood length.Â
Finally, the scientists rated the complexity of the labia minora; they used the three categories of rugosity (smooth, moderate, marked) to do so. To prevent vaginal bias, the same person also conducted all of these measurements. The scientists later used this research to classify the contestâs entries into six different categories of âvulval morphology.â
A chart detailing the six classes is included below:
As far as methodology is concerned, a random assortment of entries was sent to each voter, who was then asked to rate the vulva pictured on a scale from 1 to 10. These voters were only able to rank one photo at a time, but could also vote on an unlimited number of entries. The scientists compiled 2,766,671 ratings from 134,707 contest voters.
âTo reduce individual biases, we centered each voterâs ratings using their mean and standard deviation. This allowed us to reflect the preferences of voters on the same scale,â read the study .
According to the paper , each voter rated 21 photos, on average. Each vulva also received 15,285 votes, on average.
The study also found that âroughly 51% of voters preferred the first two classes of non-protruding, simple labia. The other 49% favored the four more complex vulva classes.âÂ
âAs expected from the rankings that we saw at the country and local levels, Class 1 vulvas are preferred over the others more often. But the combined percentages of voters who preferred more complex classes of vulvas far outweighed those who preferred the simplest style.â
The winnersâ photos, however, were not included in the studyâhaving been among the participants whose photos were not able to be considered. Moreover, the âdoggy styleâ posture featured in these entries made it difficult for the scientists to complete the necessary measurements.
âIndeed, pictures depicting contest entrants in a doggy style position obtained ratings 2 points higher on average (p <0.001) than others. Other features, like piercings in the clitoral hood, didnât affect the ratings,â read the study .
So basically, the âdoggy styleâ photos generated âinfluential excitementâ among the contestâs votersâan important competitive advantage for all future entrants to consider.
Photo via mislav-marohnic /Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)
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*First Published: Jul 24, 2015, 10:05 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go
Posted on Jul 24, 2015Â Â Â Updated on May 28, 2021, 7:13 am CDT
Following rigorous competition and more than 130,000 voters, the Worldâs Most Beautiful Vagina Contest anointed a champion this week. It was a strange, difficult-to-gauge eventâbut thatâs why organizers turned to scientists to tell us what it all means.
U.K. resident Nell, 27, won first place and $5,000 in the pageant with a vulva beauty ranking of 7.7 out of 10. Jenny, 23, of Bavaria, Germany, took second place with a 7.3; and Anita, 20, from Hungary, came in third. They each earned $2,500 and $1,250, respectively.
The contest was sponsored by Brian Sloan, who is also the manufacturer of the Autoblow 2 . Itâs known as âthe first truly realistic alternative to traditional pleasure products for men,â according to the its website .
These winners will al
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