Girlfriend Masturbates
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Girlfriend Masturbates
By Hannah Orenstein and Yerin Kim Updated: Jul 1, 2021
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Because you probably didn't learn this in school.
Fun fact: Masturbation can be awesome! In fact, a lot of teens do it, and enjoying it doesn't make you weird. So, why masturbate? Teen sex health outlet Sex Etc said it best. "Masturbation is a good way to learn about your body and your sexual feelings without the complications that can come when you have sex or do sexual things with someone else." You can feel good without having to worry about risks like unwanted pregnancy or contracting an STD.
Which is why, if you're wondering how it is that you get aroused or what arousal feels like, masturbation is a great way to dip your toe into learning about pleasure and your body. And I'm talking about more than just your genitals. Your bod has various erogenous zones, which are areas of your body that are more sensitive than others. Think: your ears, neck, inner thighs, nipples... the list goes on.
Beyond learning about your body, masturbating will also help you get insight into what settings get you in the mood. You might like to listen to sensual music and dim the lights before you try masturbating. Maybe there's a time of day that you feel particularly turned on. Perhaps there's literotica fan fiction that makes you feel all the things. Don't be afraid to experiment and see what works for you. There is no right or wrong way to masturbate!
So, if your sex ed class skipped over the masturbation spiel, don't worry, we talked to Ellen Kate Friedrichs , a health and sexuality educator in Brooklyn, NY to find out everything you need to know.
1. Masturbation refers to touching your own body for sexual pleasure. Like your vulva, clitoris, labia, vagina, breasts, or anus.
2. It involves more than just your vagina. Your sex ed classes might have glossed over the clitoris, but most people actually experience pleasure through clitoral stimulation, not vaginal penetration.
3. It's totally normal. One 2016 study found that 85.5% of female participants said they masturbated at some point in their lives, with women starting at average at age 13 and 14.
4. Guys do it, too. That same study found that 98.9% of male participants have masturbated, starting around 12 and 13.
5. It doesn't make you a bad/weird/gross person. You're not a freak or a pervert. It's not weird or gross. On the flip side, if you don't masturbate, that doesn't mean you're a prude or there's anything wrong with you. It's a totally normal thing that can help you explore your body and get more in tune with it, but if it isn't for you, NBD.
6. It's a helpful way to learn about your body. No two bodies are the same, so no two people like the exact same rhythms or movements. It'll take some trial and error to figure out exactly what works for you, and it's easier to do this without the pressure of having a partner right in front you. "You can learn about your body before you ever have sex with a partner and then, down the line, you can show a partner what you like," Friedrichs says.
7. You might have an orgasm. When a person is aroused, their muscles tense up. An orgasm is the release of all that tension , plus a rush of an endorphin called serotonin that spills into your blood stream. "These chemicals can cause intensely pleasurable feelings and can make someone feel happy, giddy or sleepy," Friedrichs says. "It can be hard to tell if you have had an orgasm since every body will experience orgasm a bit differently. But if you think of it like a roller coaster ride, with the moment before you descend being the peak of orgasm, it can help."
8. Orgasms don't happen instantly. "Don't give up, even if you think it isn't working," Friedrichs says, estimating that it might take you anywhere between a minute or an hour (or more) to have one.
9. But an orgasm isn't necessary to enjoy the experience. "While orgasms are nice and most people can learn to orgasm, if you like masturbating and aren't orgasming, that's fine too," Friedrichs adds.
10. It's the safest form of sex. Yep, masturbation is a form of sex — solo sex. And since there's no risk whatsoever of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, you can enjoy it without worrying about your health or safety.
11. You should wash your hands first. Clean hands prevent introducing bacteria into your body. When you're getting intimate, clean hands = the best kind of hands.
12. Make sure to pee when you're done. The most common cause of urinary tract infections (which can make you feel like you need to constantly pee and potentially lead to more serious complications) is when bacteria from the anus accidentally travels into the urethra. You might have heard that you can get a UTI from wiping the wrong way when using the bathroom — back to front, instead of front to back — but they can also occur if you touch your anus before touching your vagina (even if your finger just grazes the area accidentally). Peeing helps flush out any potential bacteria.
13. You can masturbate and still be a virgin. "Most people believe that a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex with another person, not someone who has never had anything in their vagina," Friedrichs explains. So if you insert a finger inside your vagina, but haven't had sex with a partner, you're still a virgin .
14. Masturbating won't make you looser down there. Unless you're doing it so frequently it's interfering with the rest of your life, it's absolutely healthy and fine to enjoy solo sex. You won't suddenly become looser down there and it won't ruin your ability to enjoy being with a partner — those are both myths.
15. If your boyfriend or girlfriend masturbates, it doesn't mean they're not into you. You can be totally satisfied with your relationship and still touch yourself. "Sometimes people worry about this out of insecurity or because they have a misunderstanding about what masturbating is all about," Friedrichs says, noting that a lot of people report masturbating more often when they're happy in their relationships. So if anything, take your partner's actions as a compliment.
16. You can use some toys as well. Sex toys aren't just for having sex. According to a study, 43% of women "sometimes" use a toy when they are masturbating, compared to just 13% of men.
17. It can help you deal with stress. According to Planned Parenthood, having an orgasm releases endorphins, which can make you feel better and help you with your stress.
18. Masturbation can help you with your period cramps. Yup, you read that right. Those same endorphins can be a natural pain killer for your period cramps, says Planned Parenthood.
19. You can do it everyday. While you may be worried about masturbating "too much," it's totally normal to do it once (or even twice) a day. According to Planned Parenthood, as long as it doesn't get in the way of spending time with friends, family, school, activities, etc., you're in the clear.
20. It can help you sleep. Some experts suggest to include masturbation in your nighttime routine, doing it right before you go to sleep. One study shows that having an orgasm increases the production of prolactin in the body, a sleep-inducing hormone.
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
Yerin Kim is the Assistant Editor for Snapchat Discover at Seventeen, covering beauty, sex & health, lifestyle, and entertainment. Originally from New Jersey but raised in Seoul, she is a proud Syracuse grad who loves fluffy puppies and a good Instagram opp. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!
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