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Sam is dating coach, life coach, and style expert. His expertise has been featured on Lifehack.org, Apartment Therapy, Wisebread, Best Life Online, and Up Journey. He lives with his Australian Shepard, Max, in beaut ... Read Full Bio
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What to say to a girl when you're interested in her is the first step in figuring out how to talk to girls .
It's a broad category, but it's an important one. When we talk about what to say to a girl, we're really looking for how to find the things to say to a girl at the right time to grab her interest and communicate how you feel .
For some lucky guys, this can be intuitive , they just feel out a conversation perfectly. For most of us, though, we struggle to know what to say to a girl you like.
We make all the wrong choices and end up walking away from an awkward conversation .
Or, we used to. Now, we can just use the steps below so that we always know what to say to a girl, no matter when we're talking to her.
It turns out, it's all quite easy .
Think of the qualities you know that girls like : smart, handsome, charming, clever, witty, funny.
There's only so much you can do about your looks, but everything else comes down to knowing what to say to a girl to make yourself sound good.
Knowing when to be funny, when to be pithy, and when to flirt can make an absolute difference in whether you are the guy of a girl's dreams or someone not worth a second glance.
When you have the right thing to say to make her laugh , console her, or make her feel good, she's going to want to keep talking to you .
Once she wants to talk to you, you have the means to convince her you're really worth all of her attention .
It's really that simple. When it comes to getting a girl's attention , it all comes down to the right words.
Figuring out what to say to her is actually really straight-forward . It all comes down to paying attention and making sure to hit a few basic steps .
Here are 7 powerful steps to make sure you never run out of things to say to a girl:
Before you launch into a conversation, take a moment to pay attention .
What is she doing? What is she wearing? What is going on around her? Is she talking to someone about something?
The more you know about her in that moment, the easier it is to fill in the blanks later in the conversation.
Knowing what to say later in a conversation all leads from how you start your conversation . If you g o in with the right line or question , you'll engage her and the conversation will proceed naturally.
Step 2 may seem obvious, but for many of us, it's difficult to know how to start a conversation with a girl.
Luckily, there's a whole world of advice to draw on for this, and it all comes down to two words: conversation starters .
You can approach this from many different angles from the basic, to the amusing , to the deep .
A basic conversation starter might be: "What's the best place to get a drink around here?"
Or, go amusing : "How long would you last in the zombie apocalypse?"
Or, deep : "Where do you find your purpose in life?"
No matter what kind of conversation starter you want, the best part about this is that they are all available here on Mantelligence to choose from.
Once you're in the conversation, follow a very simple formula: 1 question + 1 personal comment .
Ask her questions about herself , any basic thing you're interested in. Then, when she tells you something tell her something on-topic about yourself .
Add in a few observations and questions about your shared experience . Talk about classes or work you share, the location you're in. Anything that can increase your bond.
Throw in a few jokes or funny questions to keep her amused while talking to you. There's nothing that keeps a girl interested as much as humor.
via: Bigstockphoto / Wavebreak Media Ltd
Don't push too hard in the conversation. Ask basic things and don't be too intrusive into her private life. Let her reveal what she wants.
When a topic is exhausted, move on . Don't try to hold on to something once it's over. Just let it progress to something else.
via: Depositphotos / Wavebreakmedia
This may seem like a major dilemma, but really, you already know all the tricks at this point. Use the steps above and just supplement them with a few additions explained here.
Here are the 3 steps to keep the conversation going with a girl:
You've already learned that you need to observe effectively to really know what to say to the girl. You can really lean into that at this point.
Was there a topic she seemed really interested in when you started talking? Circle back to it. Is there something on TV she keeps looking at? Talk to her about TV and that show.
Build on these observations with some basic topics that you can expect she wants to discuss . By having a few conversation topics in your pocket, you will never run out of things to talk to a girl about.
Talk to her about her dreams, travel, or her friends as a start, then keep it going from there.
The topics in Step 2 should get her talking, but if she's a little reticent, fall back on those questions about her mentioned above.
Have some quality questions to ask a girl ready, like " when were you happiest? ", "what embarrassing song do you just love?", or " what's the craziest thing you've ever done? "
With these kinds of questions to ask a girl to get to know her , she'll be sure to respond enthusiastically , and you can keep the conversation going.
While all the above steps are sure to get you into a conversation, you also want to know, specifically, what to say to the girl you like .
How to talk to a girl you like is, of course, a little more stressful because you need things to say to a girl you like that communicate how much you like her .
Just insert these steps into the conversation steps above to really get that across.
Here are 3 powerful steps on what to say to the girl you like:
Nothing gets her attention like a good compliment . The key is to learn how to compliment a girl . The compliments for girls that really work are unique but still a bit traditional .
So, compliment her on her unique style choices. Or, tell her why you think she's so clever . Or, if all else fails, tell her she has beautiful eyes . It's an old standard that never fails.
A follow-up on the compliments, throw in a few off-hand sweet comments . Sweet things to say to a girl as some of the best things to say to a girl, period.
Tell her you've never had such a great conversation or that your evening was so boring before you started talking. Keep it genuine and spontaneous for the best effect.
Another follow-up here. One of the best ways to communicate your interest is to just be honest .
Be honest about yourself and how you feel . You don't have to be blunt, but d on't try to be more than you are or play at being disinterested.
Of course, much of what has been discussed at this point assumes you are in front of a girl. If you've got to communicate over the phone , you need the steps for how to text a girl .
Thankfully, this topic still uses all the steps you already know above, just in a new way.
Here are 3 important steps on knowing what to say to her over text:
Although this is a bit different than talking face to face, don't be nervous. Make text messaging work for you by being even more prepared by figuring out what to text a girl beforehand.
Just pick from the options below and start a dynamite conversation before you even text "hi."
Begin with what you already know: ask her questions . Use some ideal questions to ask a girl over text to keep your conversation interesting enough to engage her even if she's busy .
Keep her on her toes by asking if she'd ever live in a foreign country to get her thinking about romantic travel, or find out what her ideal way to spend a Saturday is to plan an invitation later.
Or, just catch her off-guard and ask what her ideal super power would be.
Keep her thinking of you by sending her a message just because . Include a good question , like what the best part of her day so far has been.
Another, slightly more scheduled just because message. Send her a good morning text for her so you're the first thing she thinks about when she gets up.
Ask her about her dreams , her plans for the day, and what she's most looking forward to that's coming up soon.
First thing in the morning, and last thing at night . Make sure to send a good night text for her as well.
You can ask her about her day, about her friends (to get the day's gossip), or throw out something random like what her spirit animal is to get her chuckling as she curls up for the night.
Once you have her talking, keep it going for a bit by responding genuinely to her. Feel out the conversation to flesh out topics, move on, or say goodbye.
Text can end up being an incredibly powerful tool. You can s end her memes, videos, and .gifs that are sure to amuse her.
Text can also sometimes make you braver . If the moment presents itself to move the relationship farther , send it in text form if saying it in person is too hard.
While it may seem like you need a whole new set of tips for how to talk to girls at parties , the truth is that you already have everythin g you need from the steps above.
Just use the steps you know and look for the perfect moment when she's alone and ready to talk .
Find out more about what to say to her by reading more Mantelligence articles .
It should be clear by now that when it comes to what to say to a girl, it's all a matter of just following the right steps .
With a few quality things to say to a girl and all the steps laid out, learning how to talk to girls is actually pretty easy and straightforward .
Just use this advice, and you'll never need to stress about what to say to a girl you like again. Now, you can approach her and chat away with ease .
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.
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How to Turn a Girl On Over Text Messages in 2022
Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.
Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.
© 2009-2021 The Art of Charm, Inc. All rights reserved.
There is still some mystery to the art of texting women despite living in a world where everyone has a cell phone and text messages are ubiquitous. We’re here to solve that mystery for you, even if you have a girlfriend and want to spice things up. In this article, you will find proven tips and clear examples you can use to take control of your dating life and start sending flirty texts that will turn a girl on (even your dream girl).
(Plus, these tips also apply to instant messages, e-mails, and romantic hand-written letters if you’re traveling back in time.)
Knowing how to turn a girl on over text messages will make it easier to get physical with her when you meet up. She will trust your ability to create sexual tension and have fun with it.
The key here is nuance. Don’t be too sexual, or she will think you’re only focused on sleeping with her. Be coy and mysterious, and always remember to be playful.
Now get your cell phone out, open up your contact list, and let’s begin!
Misinterpretation is a simple and effective way to flirt with women . You create sexual tension and fan the spark of attraction with playful words. The idea here is to assume the girl you’re texting is attracted to you and hitting on you.
A high-value attractive man assumes anyone can be interested in him. Meanwhile, all the other guys sit around waiting for women to explicitly tell them they’re interested, and that is not how this works. It’s up to you to create a playful vibe and make the flirting process fun for the girl you’re talking to.
Even if she’s not interested, the playful vibe makes it easier for her to express herself without the awkward confrontation many guys create when they ask things like, “Do you like me or what?”
Turn things around and assume the girl is chasing you and thinking dirty thoughts about you. This allows you to turn the interaction sexual in a fun way.
Here is an example of how to text girls using misinterpretation:
Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?
Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night…maybe?
This isn’t what you think, guys. Being romantic is a great way to sweep a woman off her feet, but we’re flipping the stereotypical romance on its head.
Girls love romance and everyone “knows” guys just want to get laid. We can use this to switch roles and assume the reverse. Let her know you want her to romance you instead.
Him: before we go any further, there’s something I need to tell you
Him: I’m not just a piece of meat – I need to be romanced
Her: You’re right! What was I thinking? I promise I won’t take advantage of you 😉
Now she will be thinking about pursuing you. It bumps her out of the stereotypical role she’s used to playing in the dating world. And it keeps building attraction in her mind because she will think about why she’s “pursuing” you.
Suggestive nicknames turn basic texts into fun flirty texts. But they can also be used to turn things up a bit!
Response: good afternoon, sexy pants! What trouble are you getting into today?
Replace sexy pants with other nicknames like sugar tits, peach bum, titty sprinkles, honey lips, stud muffin, sugar buns, sultry temptress, or sweet cheeks. Try them out, see what you like, and try to come up with your own!
These are playful and suggestive nicknames that flip a little switch in her mind that you are not here for friendship.
Have you noticed how powerful a simple meme can be in conveying multiple emotions or thoughts? Memes, GIFs, and pictures can tell stories.
As the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”
You can get away with saying much more in a visual than if you tried to type the same thing in a text.
Below are some great examples you can use. And if you want more, just do a search for sexy memes!
How about another playful way to introduce sexual tension into your flirty texts with women? Try the “let’s do it” text message. With this one, you assume the girl can’t help but think about sleeping with you.
Below is a texting example of what the “let’s do it” text message might look like:
Her: Are you free to hang out Thursday?
Response: Let’s do it… hang out I mean… not sex
Bringing it up this way opens the door for her to play along! The speed at which your flirty texts can escalate after using a line like this will surprise you!
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