First Time Sex With Girlfriend

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First Time Sex With Girlfriend
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Learn the honest, non-sleazy way to attract high quality partners.
You and a girl are back at your place after a date. You sit close together. You go for the kiss, she kisses you back passionately, and suddenly you’re tearing each other clothes off. Boom, you’re having sex.
But sometimes, things are a bit more complicated. Many women are not nearly as aggressive or prepared. You may have had a great time together but she’s still hesitant and nervous. This happens especially with younger or inexperienced women.
She may want to take things slower. She may need reassurance that she’s doing the right thing. She may not want to be seen as a “slut”.
That doesn’t mean you should wait around, hoping some day she’ll be ready or make a move on you. That’s how you lose a woman’s interest. You want to be proactive, take the lead , and then calibrate accordingly.
There are three elements you need to provide so she’ll she feel ready to do the deed.
Before a woman can even become turned on, she needs to be relaxed. Her mind has to be free of worry and her body free of tension.
For her mindset, you have to create a judgment-free environment. She can’t be stressing about how she looks, what you’ll think, or if she’s being too open with her sexuality. Reassure her.
“Damn, you look irresistible/so fucking amazing.”
“You’re so beautiful/sexy, I want to touch you all over.”
For her body, remind her to relax in a soft, soothing tone. Tell her to close her eyes, lay back, and take a deep breath. Again, let her know that you want her to feel taken care of.
“I want you to feel absolutely incredible.”
“All I want to do is worship every inch of your body.”
“Just lay back and feel my hands all over your soft skin.”
Only when she’s relaxed will she be ready for you to…
If she’s going to have sex with you, she needs to get horny for you. You want her so hot and wet she can’t wait another second to have you inside her.
Take your time, there’s no rush. This is foreplay!

I know you only need 10 seconds to get going, but women need to be primed before they’re ready. You want to tease, touch, and caress her body.
Focus on her pleasure. Too many guys immediately go for getting themselves off. It doesn’t help her trust that you have her best interests in mind. If you get a girl off, she will not only reciprocate the same to you but have a much easier time wanting to move forward.
Start with less intimate touching and work your way up. Some women consider certain actions more intimate than others but here’s a general guideline of how things escalate sexually:
Don’t be afraid to mix it up a little. Take a few steps forward, go back to less intimate touching, and then continue escalating.
You also don’t have to hit every point. These are just some ideas to consider to ensure a smooth progression from foreplay to sex. Everyone is different but most women want at least 10-15 minutes before having intercourse.
Sex is a physically scarier act for most women than men. She is being completely vulnerable and allowing you to enter her body.
There’s always a fear that she’s alone with someone who could potentially overpower her and go further than she desires. You want to relieve her of that fear through your words and actions.
As you’re touching her body, say something that confirms you’ll respect her boundaries. Don’t dwell on it, just say it once with conviction.
“Tell me if you want me to slow down or stop at any point.”
“Let me know if you feel uncomfortable about anything.”
“I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”
Whatever you do, never go against your word.
Don’t get caught up in the moment and ignore a girl’s signals . If she says “stop”, “no”, or moves you off her at any time – ease off calmly. Never jerk away suddenly, look hurt, or pout. Keep calm, smile, and stay turned on. Reinforce the judgment-free environment.
Never keep going, try convince her otherwise, or brush her off by saying, “it’s okay, just relax.” You will kill all the trust you’ve worked to build.
If she’s rebuffing your advances, go back to what you were previously doing. You can even take a few minutes to softly talk to her and get her to relax again.
For example, if you took her shirt off but she didn’t want you to take her pants off, return to kissing or massaging her body. Continue pleasing her and try to move forward again in a few minutes. She may just need a little more time before she’s ready to go.
When you return to what she was hesitant about, ask her if it’s okay or gently try again. Look her in the eyes and say, “Can I take these off?”, “Are you comfortable with this?” or “Is this good?”
Don’t be afraid to ask a girl for what she wants, either. “What would make you feel amazing right now?”
If she rebuffs your advances again, I wouldn’t go further. That’s usually a clear indication she’s not comfortable yet. Continue doing what she is comfortable with. If during the current session she changes her mind, she can let you know.
And if it doesn’t happen that night, doing the above and respecting her boundaries will make her want to fuck you later. Guys worry too much about getting laid that very day. Enjoy the experience for how far it goes.
When you do that, she’s almost guaranteed to be ready next time. You’re still building immense amounts of attraction. You’re not going to end up in the friend zone .
Remember, you can’t make a girl want to have sex with you. She has to come to that conclusion on her own.
Techniques like guilt-tripping or “freeze outs” (where you ignore her until she feels so awkward/bad she sleeps with you) may work on occasion. But, you’re manipulating and pressuring her into having sex. That’s not the way to start a healthy sexual connection.
If you treat her poorly, she often won’t want to see you again. Be the guy that provides a positive, supportive, and memorable experience. Not only will she want to continue hooking up, she’ll want to further explore her sexuality with you.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this alone. If you’d like a step-by-step, tailored approach to creating magnetic, intimate relationships, let’s have a free, 100% confidential consultation call (up to 30 minutes) to discuss how we can work together. Schedule your free strategy session here.
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By Hannah Orenstein Updated: Nov 25, 2019
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"Afterwards, I expected to feel more mature and more confident, but I really just felt the same as I always have."
Thanks to thee unrealistic standards constantly portrayed in media , we've all built up this imaginary idea of what sex is supposed to be like. Some people expect a romantic night of candles and passion, while others think it will be the most pleasure they've ever felt in their whole life . But the truth is, everyone's experience is different. Sometimes it's smooth and romantic and lives up to your expectations, while other times, it's kind of terrible.
But no matter how old you are or what the circumstances are, having sex for the first time can feel like a huge deal! So, to give you a better idea about what your first time may be like, we talked to 43 girls about the first time they had sex — how they knew they were ready, who they did it with, and how they felt afterward.
1. "He knew I was a virgin and for some reason, I had this expectation of it being magical, which in all honesty, it wasn't. He kept his face buried in my shoulder/neck the whole time and asked if I was okay once during, which I thought was kind of inconsiderate. I think I would have enjoyed it more if he had checked in with me to see if my needs were being met, which they weren't . At the time, I was blinded by my love, so I chose to look past that." — Hafeezah, 22
2. "It was not romantic at all. It was messy, drunk and horny. I was 17, drunk at a beach concert, called a guy that we had an on and off thing and we had sex in the back of his pickup car. Then, he went to study abroad and we never spoke about it , until like 2 years later." — Bianca, 23
3. "I was a sophomore in high school and at a Halloween party. I got pretty drunk and had sex with one of my childhood friends (on his birthday) in the basement of his house. Then, the next day, I found out one of my best friends also had sex for the first time that night . So to this day, she and I will text each other on October 30 to say happy anniversary." — Tory, 24
4. "We were 17 and we needed a time when our parents weren’t home, so we waited until Christmas Eve when his parents had left for a holiday party. I was so incredibly nervous — I think we both were. So we lit candles and took it slow . To be honest it hurt like hell. But other than that I think it was pretty perfect as far as virgins go." — Debby, 22
5. "It was after homecoming and we were just in his room. It all happened pretty naturally. It wasn't painful, but it honestly didn't feel like anything at all was happening . And then 1-2 minutes later it was over." — Jasmyne, 21
6. "I was 17 when I first had sex. I lost my virginity to someone I actually cared about, which doesn’t mean much to me looking back now, but it was important to me back then. It was late at night and we were in the backseat of his car . I was really nervous, but he was patient and managed to make me feel comfortable and sexy, even. I don’t regret anything and for that I’m thankful." — Jennifer, 22
7. "It was nothing like I imagined. I felt comfortable, but out of nowhere, I got really nervous . He told me to relax and that we didn't have to continue if I didn't want to, but I did. It was very painful to the point that I had to stop because I was in so much pain. I felt a little ashamed and embarrassed because I imaged something different and I thought he was disappointed in the experience. He was so understanding and he said it was fine and that he wanted me to be okay, and that we didn't have to continue. He made me feel better about the experience, and we are still together two and a half years later." — Katie, 24
8. "I wasn't "in love" or whatever, but I guess I never expected to be. He made me feel comfortable and respected, so one night, I went over and we had sex. It wasn't awkward or weird, and it wasn't this special magical moment either . We went to a diner the next morning for breakfast and texted my best friend group chat the link to Lonely's Island's "I Just Had Sex," and I think they were more excited about it than me to be honest." — Tiffany, 21
9. "Truthfully, it wasn't enjoyable. I wasn't ready at all and he was . And then it sort of just happened to me rather than me choosing whether or not I wanted to." — Alex, 22
10. "I was on senior week, and I was hanging out with the boy I liked. His friend was asleep in his hotel room, so we did it on the balcony . It was completely unplanned, but I've never regretted it. I'm still friends with the guy, too." — Kelsey, 23
11. "It was the summer after high school for me, sort of an in the heat of the moment type of situation with this guy I'd been talking to for a while. Surprisingly, it wasn't uncomfortable . It didn't hurt or anything like I'd expected, which was interesting!" — Anumeha, 21
12. "My first time was with my boyfriend of a few months. I was 19. After class, I hung out with my boyfriend at his house (he lives with his parents). Later, I snuck back in after his parents fell asleep. It was super unexpected and definitely not planned. I know that I was ready to have sex, but the nervousness of being COMPLETELY NUDE in front of my boyfriend for the first time PLUS being in his house when I wasn't supposed to be made it hard for me to let myself really feel good. I didn't necessarily feel bad, and I definitely don't regret any of it, the circumstances just made it hard for me to let go and loosen up. Thinking back to it eight months and many sexy times later, I honestly wouldn't change anything. I've grown so much more comfortable with sex, and I can thank my boyfriend for that for being kind and gentle." — Maggie, 19
13. "My mom tried to have an open and honest conversation about having sex so that I would feel less nervous when the time came. But the conversation was always about boys, never about being sexual with girls , so I felt completely unprepared when I went to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time." — Brooklyn, 22
14. "I was 18 and I kinda just wanted to get it over with. It was the summer after I graduated from high school and I was on a date with this kid I knew since elementary school. We had talked about it before and we got this cheap motel and we did it. I felt kinda numb until the next morning, when I got in the shower and cried for an hour." — Ari, 21
15. "I lost my virginity at 14. It wasn't a big deal in my mind, as I'd lose it one day anyway, so why not then? I was talking to the boy for awhile and he made me feel like it was the right thing to do. I imagined it'd be like in the movies — all sweet and romantic, all planned out. It wasn't! It was awkward and I didn't really know what to do. Since then, my experiences have gotten better as I now know what I'm doing." — Jenna, 17
16. "I was 17 and my best friend was a 21-year-old guy. We always joked about marriage, and he was cute, but I never felt attracted to him. One day, we went hiking, and he kissed me at the top of the peak, and I felt excited. He was older, his arms were strong, and he wasn't aggressive like the boys I kissed in my grade. He was my best friend and we were kissing — what!!! Anyway, that summer, we talked about having sex, but he insisted that I had to be 18. Finally, my birthday came, and his family was home, so we snuck into his backyard and went into a children's playhouse adorned with little kitchenware and dolls. So not sexy. It was awkward and it didn't really work. He blamed me for it. It was really immature. Also, after having sex with guys, I've realized that sex with girls is more my speed — more fun." — Naomi, 21
17. "I was 16 years old and it was right after I went on a hike with my boyfriend. I had always been nervous about the idea of sex. I had so many questions about how it would feel. But we discussed it and we both agreed we trusted each other fully. At first, it felt weird — not painful, but just a completely different feeling. My advice is to make sure you trust this person so you can enjoy it even if it is awkward at first." — Carina, 19
18. "I wanted to have sex before college because I didn't want my first time to be a one-night stand after a party. I had met this guy online when I was younger and we had been talking for awhile. I had gone to see him a couple times and he said he didn't want to be my first. But then on New Year's Eve, he invited me over and we ended up having sex. I felt super weird after, because I was like, maybe I should've waited for someone I loved. I really think that shapes how I treat sex now. I know a lot of people whose first time was with someone they loved, and now sex is this sacred thing for them — whereas for me, sex is really just an act of pleasure." — Phoebe, 23
19. "I was 18 and in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend was visiting and it felt right at the time. But then he had to leave to go back to school, and I was left with a lot of emotions, including regret and shame. I missed him and I felt overwhelmed. Even though we aren't dating anymore, I really did love him and a part of me always will." — Sammy, 18
20. "I was 16. My boyfriend at the time and I had been together for about eight months and things were getting serious, so we decided to do it. I was expecting it to be so nice and amazing, but instead it was so painful. It only lasted a couple of seconds. " — Katelyn, 20
21. "I had been dating a guy for less than a month when he told me, 'We need to have sex so we can figure out if we have a spark to continue dating.' I was 18 and wanted to lose my virginity so I could fit in, but also because I really liked this guy. We had sex in a car (how romantic, right?). I was so nervous that he wouldn't feel that 'spark,' but he did. At the time, I felt amazing. I thought I found the guy of my dreams and that we'd get married. We're no longer together, but I don't regret the experience. I just wished I had known I didn't need to have sex with a guy for him to approve of me or continue dating me. " — Mikayla, 20
22. "I love my boyfriend and I was ready, so we had sex. I'm on the Pill and we used condoms. It didn't hurt at all. I was so happy to be making love with him. I liked the feeling of being so close to him. But physically I thought it felt weird — like it didn't really feel all that great and I didn't feel tons of pleasure. Afterwards, I expected to feel more mature and more confident, but I really just felt the same as I always have. I don't really feel like losing your virginity is as big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be. I'm happy that I had my first time with someone I love , so, in that aspect, losing my virginity was really great because of how much I love my boyfriend." — Krista, 19
23. "I lost it when I was 14 on my boyfriend's brother's futon and I bled all over the pristine white comforter. If it had been with anyone other than my boyfriend it would have been sooo embarrassing. " — Kelsey, 22
24. "I had a group of friends over on a Friday night my first semester of college. One friend asked if he could crash at my place. I wasn't expecting it to turn into anything — I didn't even know he felt attracted to me that way. It was very spur of the moment, but we did use a condom. He was my good friend and I trusted him, so even though we didn't talk about it beforehand, it felt right and okay and was even pretty exciting." — Beatrice, 19
25. "At 17, I was convinced I was the very last virgin in college. I was obsessed with the fact that I was a virgin, sizing up my classmates, puzzling over whether any of them were virgins, too. One of my high school crushes invited me to hang out one weekend, and according to my experienced roommate, it was apparent that he wanted to have sex. We used protection. He was considerate and gentle and quite kind. The experience as a whole was very positive. I didn't have sex again for another two and a half years. I was ready and glad to no longer be a virgin, but I was not ready for the risk and responsibility of being sexually active. I have no regrets — either about how I lost my virginity or how long it took me to have sex again, because both were a reflection of me being good and ready." — Chloe, 22
26. "I lost my virginity when I was 15 to my boyfriend who was 17 at the time. We decided to do it after about three months of dating, when I knew for sure I was ready. We used a condom. Honestly, I didn't feel different after than I did before. Maybe just a little more mature. If you really think you're ready, and you and your partner protect yourselves, it can be a really cool thing. " — Kayleigh, 17
27. "Though I was an 'early' bloomer when it
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