Extreme Throat

Extreme Throat
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Dr. Jenn Mann is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the relationship expert behind InStyle's long-running weekly column, Hump Day. She is best known for her hit VH1 show, "Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn," and her popular call-in advice Sirius XM radio show, "The Dr. Jenn Show."

Updated on April 21, 2021 @ 04:00PM

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I enjoy giving my boyfriend head. And not to brag, but I think I'm pretty decent at it. Recently though, he has hinted that he wants me to try deep-throating. In the porn I've watched it looks pretty intense — and I'm worried about my gag reflex. Any tips for how to deep throat for a first-timer? — The Shallow

I respect your willingness to swallow your pride, so to speak, and come at this with an open mind (and gullet). As you seem to already know, the gag reflex tends to be the biggest inhibitor of the deep throat technique.

Also known as the pharyngeal reflex or laryngeal spasm, the gag reflex is the contraction of the back of the throat that occurs when triggered by an object touching the roof of the mouth, back of the tongue, tonsil area, or the back of the throat. It is meant to prevent things from going down your throat that aren't supposed to be there, and to stop you from choking. The unfortunate truth is that our throats are not designed to swallow dicks! That said, some people have it easier than others in this category. Studies show that 37% of people do not have a gag reflex . On the other end of the spectrum, 10 to 15% of people have a hypersensitive gag reflex (HGR). Regardless of where you fall, you can learn how to deep throat if you care to. Consider these tips and then dive right in.

There are throat training exercises you can do to help desensitize your gag reflex. Keep in mind, this training must take place over time in order to be effective. Pick a phallic-shaped object, starting with something small like a toothbrush or your finger, and slowly move the object toward the back of your throat. When you feel yourself starting to gag, stop and try to relax while taking deep breaths in order to suppress your gag reflex. Try to hold it there for 10 Mississippis.

The more you practice this, the sooner you will see improvements. Once you are able to hold it there for the full 10 seconds, experiment with moving the object in and out slowly. This may stimulate your gag reflex even more. Make sure to keep breathing. Once you have conquered this with a small object, work your way up to a dildo. Hot tip: Do not practice this with a banana. It could break off into your throat and cause you to choke, which would be a very embarrassing way to go.

Positions that create a straight line from the mouth to the throat, allowing the penis to go there, are ideal. There are a few positions that are particularly good for this type of sword swallowing endeavor.

Whatever position you try, one of the most important things is that you are able to feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed with your partner. Feeling pressured or scared, besides creating a very negative experience for you, will lead to you tensing up the muscles in your jaw and your throat, which makes it less likely that you will get the results you were hoping for. Coming up with a signal that lets your partner know to stop is of the utmost importance, as is open communication any time sexual experimentation is going down.

When it comes to deep throating, creating optimal breathing opportunities and using breath to help you to relax are important ingredients for success. Stuffed up with a head cold? Wait until your sinuses are cleared out, then try.

Try experimenting with your breathing. Inhale as you slide him out, using that moment to take a breath. Try the reverse as well, inhale as he is going in and exhale as he is going out. Many experts recommend sticking your tongue out or flattening it in order to allow the penis to slide further down the throat. Keep in mind that this leaves your soft palate exposed and available to poking and prodding which is likely to trigger that gag reflex.

Go in hydrated like you are about to run a marathon. Dehydration is your enemy. You need saliva to do a good job. Putting some lube on your lips or on him can allow your mouth to go up and down smoothly which helps the whole process. If you are able to bring his penis into your mouth far enough, the back of your throat will begin to lubricate with a thick saliva.

There are many different tricks that are recommended to enhance your deep throat technique. They range from old wives' tales to more scientifically-based recommendations.

In order to feel safe and have a great experience, talk it out first. And make an ejaculation plan in advance. Are you comfortable swallowing? How do you want to be warned that he is about to cum — and where do you want it to go? Most importantly, like any sex act, this should be about wanting it. You should never feel pressured or coerced. With that? You're far from the shallow now.

In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.

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By Ultraman72511 | 25 posts, last post 3 months ago

Hey, I am 19 years old (girl) and I just got a new boy friend (2 months). We practice safe sex all the time and of the total of three people that I have slept with, he is the best at sex. I now want to give him deep throat but I have a few questions that I am concerned about. Ok, first of all, his penis is about 5.6 inches long. I'm wondering, when I give him deep throat, is it safe if I let him cum in my throat? Like is there a possible chance of me choking and not being able to breath because his penis does not go super deep? In addition to this, are there any medical concerns that I should know of?

In addition to this, do any ladies have advice about ignoring the taste of cum? I have never liked the taste, but I love giving oral. What should I do?

Thank you so much!

Tell him to change his diet. My female friends tell me the taste of semen is influenced by the guy's diet. As far as I know, there are no real medical concerns to deepthroating your boyfriend. I would guess that as long as you're not trying to inhale as he ejaculates you should be fine. Also, common sense should tell you that if something feels wrong, it probably is.

Have fun and be safe!

Yes, but is it ok if he cums in the back of my throat or is there a possibility that I will choke? Like do guys normally cum in your mouth or can it actually be in the esophagus? (or in the far back of your mouth).

You should be able to tell when your bf is about to have an orgasm while you are performing oral sex. Don't shove his penis down your throat at that time.
When you feel his penis starting to spasm, try to have it positioned part way in your mouth, past the teeth heading toward the back of your throat.

If it is to far back, you will probably cough, that is the gag reflex working.
You can deep throat him all you want, but when he gets ready to cum, pull back a little.

As far as the taste, it is tru that diet affects that. It is not a bad thing, but sometimes, depending on what he has eaten, it may taste odd.

My girlfriend says she really likes how it tastes after a guy eats a lot of pineapple, or drinks green tea. I have yet to actually be with her in that sense... but yeah. Its come up in conversation a few times lol.

Fruit DOES help the taste...5.6 inches shouldnt be too hard to swallow

Take it from someone who has sucked and swallowed a lot of penis. The best way to ignore the taste of cum is to swallow straight away without thinking about it. Don't swallow deep throat you will gag

In reply to Ultraman72511 on 2008-05-29 - click to read

Its fine for him to come in the back of your throat. My boyfriend comes in the back of nine and ideep throat him all the way down balls and penis in mouth at same time and he's 8 1/2 inches long. Anyway the further back the less you taste.

In reply to Ultraman72511 on 2008-05-29 - click to read

Yes its fine to cum in the back of your throat (it feels weird but its fine )

In reply to anonymous on 2015-07-17 - click to read

Hi. Can I borrow u? Lmao seriously If u r deepthroating the cum is going down ur windpipe n u will cough and try to get it out in a lugie. It can't b good for ur lungs. Sayn...

In reply to anonymous on 2016-10-16 - click to read

That's not how it works it will go into your stomach

In reply to anonymous on 2015-01-22 - click to read

In reply to anonymous on 2010-08-01 - click to read

5.6 inches is a pretty small weenie!

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