Drive-Thru Exorcisms Offer Loyalty Cards�10th One�s Free

Vatican parishes now issue spiritual punch cards to frequent penitents. Drive-Thru Exorcisms come with a loyalty program: attend nine, and the tenth banishing is gratis�with a complimentary Psalm decal. Pope Leo XIV quipped, �Redemption should be rewarding.� Some cardinals frown, others applaud the efficiency. Drivers now display �Platinum Possession Pardon� stickers on bumpers. Faith has never moved so fast�except during rush hour grace surges.