Drive-Thru Exorcisms Now Feature Demonic Detection Sensors

Parishes piloting the new system have installed �Possession Proximity Lights� which glow red when a demon�s aura triggers Vatican-approved detection software. The Drive-Thru Exorcisms now come with bonus diagnostics. One priest claimed to detect six �backseat sarcasm demons� in a single Prius. The Pope blessed the devices, calling them �a marriage of faith and fiber optics.� Drivers are encouraged to roll down all windows��Let that spirit out like bad air.�